I'm standing on the roof of the school building oblivious to the sudden rainfall. I feel numb and paralyzed from everything.
I move closer to the edge, my heart not pounding from any sort of fear. How could I be afraid, I have just experienced my worst fear so now I'm no longer afraid. I don't fear anything anymore, not even death.
I have never tried to jump off a building before or rather Aurora never tried that when she attempted to kill me all those times. I think it's the most effective way to kill yourself, nothing can go wrong.
His face is the only thing in my mind as I prepare to jump. I keep seeing the hurt, the disappointment and fear on his face. I think his fear of who I really am is what me the most. If he can't accept me I don't see the point of going on living as what I am.
"Heaven what are you doing?"
And she's back. The voice in my head, except she's not just a voice in my head. To me she's real because I can see her and she also has the ability to turn my life upside down. Tonight proved just how much Aurora can ruin my life.
"I'm giving you want, what you have always wanted." I tell her without looking back at her.
"No Heaven, I don't want that. Please don't jump."
I laugh lightly. "Why the change of heart? You have wanted me dead ever since I was born. Why won't you let me jump? You will get what you want, my body." I don't really know if she will want it after I have jumped off the building. Maybe that's why she doesn't me to jump, my body will be disfigured.
"I was wrong Heaven and I apologise. I was just desperate. Please, don't do it."
She sounds so sincere, too bad I'm past caring at this point. "I forgive you Aurora and that's why I'm giving you full control of my body. I don't need it anymore. It's yours now." I start to move closer to the edge, ready to surrender.
"What about Sky?"
It's a desperate plea on her part and it's enough to halt me. This time I turn to look at her, furious that she would mention him.
"How dare you mention him? This is all your fault!" I shout at her.
"I know and I'm sorry. I didn't think of you, I just miss James...."
"Of course you didn't think of me! You only think of yourself and I pay the price." I'm crying now. "I have him. He doesn't want me, I saw it in his eyes. He hates me."
"No he doesn't."
"Stop talking like you know him because you don't. He is never going to want me back and just like you can't live without James, I can't live without Sky. He's everything to me and now I have lost him." I continue to cry. "You were right, nonhumans shouldn't fall in love, it hurts to much to be enslaved to someone who doesn't want you."
"Heaven please think about this."
I look away from her, retreating back to my position. I'm not letting her talk me out of this.
I have already thought about this, many times before. Maybe Aurora manipulated me in the past but she gave me an idea on how to take my own life.
I close my eyes, ready for it to be over. Who knows, maybe it won't be as painless as I always imagined.
"Heaven!"
This time it isn't Aurora's voice that stop me.
I turn around for the second time, my heart pounding as my eyes confirm what my ears already knew.
"Sky?" I say his name in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to get you." He starts to walk towards me, slowly and hesitantly. "Walk towards me, please." He adds as he holds out his hand.
"Why?" I'm still dumbfounded by the fact that he came for me.
"I'm scared of heights and you are standing far too close to the edge."
"You don't want me." I can't help but say the words. "You are afraid of me, I saw it in your eyes."
"Yes I was scared but not of you." He keeps moving closer to me despite admitting that he's scared of heights. "I was shocked by what I saw but I'm not afraid. You will never hurt me." Even as he says the words I can hear the doubt in his words.
"No you don't believe that. I hurt you." It's true, even though the truth is much more complicated, I did hurt him. He saw 'me' kiss someone else and I also lied to him.
"We can talk about that but please, move away from the edge." He begs.
"You hurt me when you didn't believe me. You hurt me when you thought I was scary. So I wanted to jump, I don't want to live without you." I sound pathetic but that's exactly how I feel.
"I want you. I love you, I will always love you." There's a hint of desperation in his voice. He's way to close too me now, way too close to the edge. "Don't jump."
"Do you still love me?" I ask even though I already know the answer.
He reaches out and strokes my face. "Always."
I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his hand against my skin. Though he is shivering a little, it must the rain and the fact that he's afraid of heights.
"I love you Sky." I cry before throwing myself into his arms. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything but I was scared of losing you."
"It's alright, I'm here. I'm not going anyway, you are not going to lose me." He promises and somehow it makes me cry harder. To think I might have lost him forever.
"I love you." I murmur against his neck.
"I love you." He says it back. "Now can we please get off the roof." He says with his normal voice and it makes me smile, I love him a lot.
"Ok." I say and together we start to get off the roof. I'm still holding on to him tightly, reluctant to even entertain the idea of letting him go.
We go back to his house. It feels weird to be back here in light of what happened earlier but at the same time there's no place I would rather be, not even my own home.
I want to be with Sky always now. Now that he knows the truth, that he's accepted me, or is at least trying to accept me, I just love him even more, if that's even possible.
I feel like he's the air I need to breathe, like he's my lifeline and my feelings for me get more intense with each day. Saying that I can't live without him isn't just an expression, it's the absolute truth for me, I would die without him. I'm a slave to my feelings for him but I don't mind, he's worthy of my love.
I stand awkwardly in his bedroom, watching him take off his wet clothes. I'm still in my soaked dress, not even bothering with taking it off. I enjoy watching him, knowing that he's mine and that he loves me. I feel happier now that he knows the truth. No more hiding, no more little white lies, just the truth and nothing but the truth.
"Aren't you going to take off your clothes?" He asks me and blush a little, he's naked and right in front of me.
"Of course." I try to unzip my dress but I can't reach it. "Can you unzip me?" I ask.
He nods. "Turn around." He orders softly and I do as he asks. I can see both our reflections because I'm face to face with his mirror, the new and not the one I smashed.
I feel him unzip my dress and soon enough it falls to my feet and I'm left with nothing on but my panties.
I want to turn around but I stop when I see Sky start to touch my back. I feel his hands against my upper back. At first I don't understand what he's doing but then his thoughts tell me exactly what he's doing. He's looking for my wings.
"They conceal themselves." I tell him quietly.
"It's so surreal." He says just as quietly as he continues to touch me. "If I hadn't seen them I wouldn't believe it."
I watch him in the mirror, trying to gauge his mood, how he's taking it. I wonder if he's starting to get freaked out or scared.
I turn around and face him. I place my hand on his cheek. "Do they scare you?" I dare ask even though I'm scared of his answer.
He kisses my hand. "I thought you could read minds."
I smile at his words. "I can but I want to hear you say it."
"You don't scare me." He says without hesitation.
I know he's telling the truth. I can read minds and his eyes don't lie to me, he's not afraid of me. That should be enough for me but it's not. I still have doubts, it must be the human in me.
I push him away softly so that I can create a bit of distance between us. I can actually hear him frowning, his mind wondering why I'm suddenly putting distance between us.
I turn away from him and close my eyes, calling into my inner self, transforming right before his eyes, for the second time tonight.
My eyes are glowing, my wings are proudly spread out and I can see the blinding light from me shining in his eyes.
He's still in front me and I'm daring him to run but the idea of it slowly killing me inside. There's no fear in his eyes but he's not exactly comfortable as well.
There are a lot of emotions in his eyes but I'm glad fear isn't one of them.
"How about now, are you afraid of me?" I ask him.
He doesn't answer me, instead he takes a step closer to me. "You don't scare me." He says against my mouth, right before he kisses me.
I'm surprised by his kiss but not really, I know he doesn't scare me. I just wanted him to prove it and now he has.
I kiss him back, feeling myself go back to my other self, the human side.