•Darth Vader x gn reader angst imagine based on the song, 'Wish You Were Here' by Pink Floyd.
•Warnings: Yes this is suited Vader, angst, mourning.
•A/N: decided to set aside the 'Beat It. ' fic for later because nothing was coming to mind. Wrote this instead. Also kind of not... An x reader?? But low-key? You'll see. It's just a lot of internal dialogue w/ Vader fjdkdd you'll see. Also another A/N at the end.
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Vader stood in the bright, luscious fields of Naboo, a warm, summer breeze caught in his cape, sending the black fabric into a billowing wave of stark contrast to that of the still blue sky.
The chaotic sound of the intolerable mechanical breathing seemed so insignificant to the raging waterfalls roaring in the distance. Beyond the waterfalls stood tall, proud mountains, towering over the green fields of pasture, grass swaying so gently, petals of wildflowers escaped the grasp of that of the flower, swirling into the air as if they were dancing along the breeze.
Vader stood there on the hill for a bit, peering over the meadow in deep thought, reminiscing over the memories that took place here.
Memories of you flashed through his mind--happy memories, full of joy and passion. Memories that made him want to smile from within his mask, though he hesitates, afraid he'd fall back into that weak state of mind that brought him a terrible amount of pain.
He lifts his right arm and brings his hand up, a solid, firm fist of black leather opens up slowly, a small white, crushed flower is revealed.
He turns his hand, bringing it up to his mask slowly, examining it. He lets his eyes wander over the white crushed flower before picking it up with his other hand, where two big, black fingers hold it so delicately between them.
He admires it for a bit, twisting and turning it, looking at the pure petals of the flower. He seemed to let out a gruff unsatisfied grunt as he suddenly deemed the flower useless and shrivels it up between his fingers, dusting off the remainders of the flower, letting them catch into the breeze--floating away just like the rest of the flowers had done.
Vader watches the flowers float away, and strangely, he can't help but feel a sort of sorrow in his heart, locked beneath that of the cold steel that barricaded himself.
A sorrow, a sorrow that seemed so familiar and so full of pain--wait.
Vader's heart thudded against his chest, as he looked beyond the fields of Naboo, remembering... Remembering him.
Anakin Skywalker.
He clenches his fists together as the memories suddenly began to flow back into his mind, the rate of his heart sped up as more images of him rang through his head like an annoying alarm--
Laughter, that innocent naive boy who hadn't been susceptible to pain quite yet, rolled around in the fields with them, sharing fond stories and memories--
No, no, no, no, stop it!
Vader shook his head and began to walk frantically back and forth, shutting his eyes tight. The constant thudding in his ears made him wince and twitch his fists at the now annoying sound of his breathing.
That obnoxious breathing, that loud, cursed breathing, getting faster and faster--Vader paced back and forth at a quicker pace, gloves tightening and releasing, the Force unknowingly following his command and sweeping through the fields of grass, the flowers bending to his will.
He was getting closer, you were getting closer--he could feel it, he could see it--images, of you, of him, of...
Us.
Vader stands still, everything comes to a halt.
For a moment the grass stops moving, his breathing becomes silent, fists become relaxed; pacing ceases.
The remnants of his memories on Naboo had brought him to an isolated place in his mind. It was a place he rarely visited, only triggered by memories of the past.
It was a bleak, empty space, filled with nothing but a black void and himself.
Here, he couldn't hear his breathing, or feel the weight of his mechanical suit, or feel the cybernetics attached to him or feel the needles sticking into his face or feel his burns scraping against his suit.
He was... Him. Except, he still looked the same, built entirely in his robot suit.
He looks around the void, wondering why he had been brought here.
"Do you ever wonder about yourself?"
Vader quickly spins around to find the voice, heart dropping at the sight that comes upon him.
It was him.
Anakin Skywalker.
Not Vader... No. Anakin.
He stood there, tall, solemn, and proud, and wrapped in his Jedi cloak as if he were taunting Vader.
How is he here?
Vader huffs, grabbing the hilt of his lightsaber, and moves his thumb across the button and presses it, a red bleeding blade emits from its core.
With his thunderous voice, Vader responds,
"I thought I killed you."
The boyish grin appears on Anakin's countenance, his own gloved hand finds the hilt of his saber but doesn't ignite it.
"I was never killed, Vader. I've always been here."
Vader huffs, fingers twist around his saber and form a vice-like grip, tempted to lunge at Anakin in front of him and attack, though he knew his previous self too well to try anything too brash.
Anakin steps forward cautiously and Vader holds out his sword in front of him to warn him.
Anakin removes his hand away from his saber and lifts both of them up on each side of his head, telling Vader he meant no harm.
Vader opens his mouth to ask a question, but Anakin seems to have other ideas.
"Have you ever wondered if you can tell, anymore?"
Vader stops, lowering his red blade and looking at the fool in front of him. Can tell? Can tell what?
"Or have you lost yourself so much to the point where you can't tell a difference?"
"I... " Vader muses, wondering what he was playing at. He lifts his blade once again and slowly begins to move his feet, moving around Anakin like a predator planning to pounce on his prey. "I can tell. "
"Are you sure?" Anakin seems to chuckle mockingly at the ominous cyborg. "Because with you... You've gone so far that even I can't tell if you know or not."
Vader stills once again, blade lowering.
"I... I'm unsure of what mean."
"I mean, can you tell? Heaven from hell? Blue skies from pain?"
Vader furrows his eyebrows, confused, he lifts his sinful red blade back up to Anakin, approaching him at a quick pace until the tip of the red blade comes within centimeters to his throat.
"You're being a fool, of course--"
"Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?"
Again, Vader's heart comes to a halt. He... He couldn't have forgotten, could he?
How the grass feels between his fingertips, how a flower would bend beneath his knuckles, how the blades would lick against his neck whenever he'd lie in it--he couldn't have.
Steel was cold, lifeless--nothing like that of the grass on Naboo. Right?
He lifts his empty hand to his vision and looks at it. Leather. Steel. Cold. Lifeless.
He lowers it at the moment of realization that he hadn't remembered what grass had felt like... He hadn't touched something so lifelike in so... Long.
He feels a twist in his stomach, a knot, a binding that permitted Anakin's words--he knew Anakin was right, but...
Vader held the sword closer to Anakin's neck, tempted to slice through him right there, but something was holding him back.
"No--"
"Or a smile from a veil?"
"Be quiet, or I'll tear this sword right through you--"
"You poor soul, you don't even realize what they did to you, do you?" Anakin tilts his head.
Vader lets out a shaky breath, the knot beginning to tighten in his stomach. Of course I know. Beneath his mask he blinks, a strong panging began to beat in his skull. He'd never admit it, he knows what's happened to him, but this is him now, he has to accept it, it's him, it's him, its--
"Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?"
Ahead of him, Vader looks into the blues of Anakin's eyes, seeing nothing but pure sorrow. Anakin felt sorry for Vader, Anakin knew the pain Vader endured because Anakin was there.
Vader can't help but lower his eyes away from Anakin's, unable to look himself in the eyes ever again. There was... Too much. Too much pain. It was torture to look at himself like this again... When Vader... Looked... When Vader wasn't even a man anymore. What was left of him was but a small particle of what he originally was.
He was but a ghost. A remnant of his past self. Something there to remind himself of who he is. Or was.
Vader wants to look up to meet Anakin's eyes and tear the lightsaber through him, but he knows that it wouldn't do any good. He lowers the blade and turns away from him, afraid to face him.
"Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?"
Vader tilts his head down, pressing the button on the saber and letting the red blade vanish.
"Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war, for a leading role in a cage?"
Vader's heart sunk. He knew what Anakin meant by that.
He was right.
Vader was trapped in a cage. A heavy, burdensome cage. It hid Anakin away from everyone, hiding him beneath the black steel that was Vader. Anakin was rarely ever there, but he was always there with Vader, and Vader knew it. He knew he'd never be able to get rid of his old self, no matter how hard he tried, he knew it would always be the two of them, sitting there, trapped beneath this artificial prison, afraid of moving away from it because they know no other way of life or no exit.
They know neither of them have the ability to escape, or to be free, or to destroy what they've created. If they do or attempt to, they both know that there'd be consequences.
Anakin sighs, letting out a pained sob, he accepts fate. He drops to his knees, the black metal hits the ground with a thud, metal echoing in the void.
He was stuck here with Vader. In the cage. And for now... Until he has the chance to leave, he and Vader will remain there.
He'd just have to wish Anakin would be there a little longer.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fishbowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found?
The same old fears
Wish you were here.
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A/N: Yooo soo sorry for not updating this, Arrogance & Impurity I've just been insanely busy and trying to stay on top of my school work fjdkfksk.
I've decided that because I am so busy, that I'm just not going to do those other little fics I told y'all about and just go ahead and start updating Arrogance & Impurity because these imagines take me so long to do anyway... So... Yeah.
So onto updating those stories :)
Dw this book will still be updated from doing blurbs and stuff like that from my Tumblr.