"Please don't leave in the morning."
I pounded on the door furiously. I could taste the adrenile in my mouth. It resembled the cold taste of metal and blood.
My fist felt raw and the burn of my skin across the thick wooden door was tearing my knuckles apart but that wasn't what really got me. What really got me was when he opened the door. His curls sticking every direction and he green eyes clouded over from the daze of sleep.
"Ela?" And oh was his voice so deep. The gravely sleep laced tone that was secluded for just me at the long hours of the night. Well, not anymore.
"I want out of this." I shooved the folder containing all the need to know stuff for the jet we bought together in disgust at him. My mistake. My fingertips graced across the T-shirt on his chest immediately sending goosebumps down the back of my spine.
"What are you-"
"Get me out of it!"
I was so lost and I knew it. I was also in too deep but I couldn't find it in me to stop either.
"What are you even talking about?"
He jumped to grab the folder I was shoving at him. When he did his eyebrows pinched together and his eyes squinted as he attempted to read the papers in the dim light.
And it hit my like a brick wall. All those feelings I was so endlessly trying to suppress sprang to life with just one look at him. His hair was an ocean storm, springing and turning in every single direction imaginable. His palm was pressed against the doorframe and I traced my gaze up his forearm to see his tan skin flex with worry. His tatooes standed bleak against his skin. He shut the folder and I stood totally frozen as his gaze traced my face. I felt the warmth drain my body at how much I missed him, but couldn't have him anymore.
"Ela what's wrong?"
I was a fish gasping for water. I came here with such an intense vigor ready to destroy him and this contract, only for it to be completely lost as I looked to the man I loved.
"I- I-" But I couldn't finish. Words seemed useless right now. I couldn't bring myself to convey all the emotions I've been feeling.
"Come inside. Its freezing."
But what really sent chills down my spine was when his fingers pressed so gently but firmly to my arm. In one effortless pull I was tugged inside and two centimeters away from his chest.
I wanted so desperately to push him away. I really did. But it was so cold outside and so late and I was so tired.
He took all the bad away. He always did.
I should've screamed no. I should've pushed him away, slapped him, call him a lair, do anything. But I didn't.
My eyelids grew so heavy and I found it impossible to even attempt to keep them open. My limbs felt numb but somehow sluggish.
Again I should've protested when his hand rested against the small of my back.
But instead of protest all that escaped from me was tears. Alexa was right. I knew she was right. I know all the girls are right, that had been suppressing all my emotions and fears. Harry's the key. He's the one who unlocks all of it and make my tears feel good to let out.
"Shh." His lips ever so slightly pressed against my forehead. With a gentle push into his embrace I let go and let him guide me down the expanse of the hallway. It only half registered in my brain the fact when he tugged my jacket off, the whole time glancing at my face worriedly. Quickly and skillfully he opened his bottom left drawer and tugged out my favorite t-shirt, which made me cry even harder because this was so wrong and I shouldn't be here. I couldnt bring myself to think of the fact that how fake this all was right now. I still needed it. I needed one night of feeling about love that was now left behind. He must really pity me to still keep up with this charade.
"Shh.." He hushed so warmly right beside my ear. His broad hands tugged my T-shirt up and over my head before he quickly englulfed me in the warm fabric of the shirt he pulled out for me. My shoes and jeans were tugged off next before his hands stopped at my cheeks. The pads of his thumb graced so slightly under my heavy wet lashes.
His eyes were so green and so worried? I couldn't take looking into them anymore, so I closed my eyes. I felt him brush the hair off from around my face. His fingers never slowled as they memorized the patterns of my skin all around features. It felt so good. So calming. And slowly I felt my tears subside.
I gripped onto him, pleading this moment wouldn't end and he'd never stop the tender caressing on my cheeks. But he did. He froze. And without opening my eyes I could tell he was angry. Angry and tense.
I knew why too. His fingers froze right under my ear. Right were Kendell brusied me from one of his rough and almost painful make out sessions.
My tears started up again. I felt like I was betraying Harry. I felt a ashamed of myself
And I just wanted his attention to be everyone on me but that spot.
"Harry. Please." I shook, not knowing what the hell I was begging for.
"Did you mean what you said," he paused, swallowing thickly, "at the award show? How you never wanted me to speak to your again?"
"No." I whispered letting the hot heavy tears coat my cheeks.
"Why'd you say it then?"
We were still speaking in whispers, something I was glad for. I was too exhausted to try any louder than that.
"I was mad. I am mad."
He replied instantly, not even fully comprehending what I was saying. "I thought you meant it. Ela its been weeks. I miss you."
"Can we go to bed?" I couldn't take his words. My heart was thrilled, it was exactly what I wanted to hear. But my mind was screeching at me no, he's pulling you into a trap. I didn't want to deal with any side of it right now.
I hudled close to him, as he wrapped the fading warmth of the fabric around us tightly.
"Please stay Ela. I have so much I want to talk to you about. Please don't leave in the morning."
His steady heartbeat lulled me to a peace I'd been craving for almost a month now. It felt so comforting and so rewarding.
"Ela, promise. Please."
I moved my head yet a fraction of an inch and mumbled a promise before my eyes closed and sercumbed to the pressure of sleep. The last thing I remember a content sigh and Harry matching his legs through mine.
**
I woke up early. Well I didn't wake early, I stirred. It was then as I opened my eyes, adjusting my pillow, I realized where I was.
I was with Harry. It's not like I was drunk, but lack of sleep can cause a stupor just the same.
I need to go. Forget the promise. What more did we really have to talk about?
It would only lead to emptiness and tears. I dragged my heavy head off the pillow and forced my eyes to open fully. There he was. He looked so peaceful. I avoided the touch of his skin like avoiding the touch of a laser and somehow managed to slide out of bed without waking him.
I'm so stupid. So amazingly stupid to come here.
I glanced at the strew of my clothing cluthed to the floor and started the gathering process, preying Harry wouldn't wake. This felt like some stupid one night stand. It felt as if I was avoiding the morning after with an odd stranger. Harry was no stranger though. He could single handedly be the one person who knew me best. As my foot shoved through the left side of my jeans I caught eye contact with the crisp white jet paper work.
I scrambled for a pen on Harry'svdresser and circled all the places he needed to sign to end the deal. I left the folder open, clearly displaying its intentions and folded the T-shirt he let me wear through the night.
I nodded in approval as I let them sit side by side. He'd deal with it when he woke, its not my problem anymore. Still though, that tugging to crawl back in bed with him and just return to normalcy nagged me with an intense vigor.
I steppes out of his room before I changed my mind. And I almost made it to the doorway, untill Niall Horan blocked me.
"Does Harry know you're leaving?"
I dug my nails into my palm. "Niall, I've got to go. Please move." I pushed his shoulder. He didn't budge.
"Alexa was worried sick about you Ela. You're scaring a lot of people you know."
"You talked to Alexa?" I didn't try and hide the shock that spread across my face.
I wanted to slap the smirk and little smile that immediately covered his face. "Yes. She called me."
I snorted, making his grin fall from his face. "Must've been desperate."
"I know you're hurting and all, but I don't support these little slutty, two year old temper tantrums you're pulling. You're hurting Alexa and your killing Harry. Knock it off Ela. Harry didn't mean to hurt you. Its a fucking misunderstanding."
I was speechless. Never in my life have I heard Niall say anything of the sort. I barely heard him raise his voice. I never heard him angry.
Again he suprised me as he steppes aside and opened the door. His arm outstretched as he beckoned me to cross. "Well go ahead, run. Its what you do best after all."