Chapter Twenty-nine
"Jae... he was never gone." I sniffled, the tears I was trying to hold onto awhile ago, continuously streaming down on my cheeks now, helplessly. I felt my lips trembling with my heart silently breaking into tiny pieces.
The fear just sank on me right at the moment Haruto saw Junghwan...
Jae kneeled down in front of me, his shadow evident on the wall of my room. His hands softly caressed my shoulders, as I heard him sniffing too. "Jeongwoo, why do you always make my heart ache?"
"Jae... What if I'll lose Haruto? What if... he'll come back to him?"
I held on my chest squeezing tightly.
"He loves you, Jeongwoo."
Haruto's silent sobs and lonely eyes awhile ago flashed back at the back of my head, his eyes twinkled, it was as if he longed to see Junghwan again... And the way he unlocked his hand from mine, I felt like he just let go of me.
"But he loves Junghwan too..."
"They were so young that time, Jeongwoo. You can't be so sure."
I'm sure. I can't be wrong. The way his old room is still filled of Junghwan, I know a part of him never stopped loving him. And I hate that I am seeing that side of his heart now.
"Jeongwoo, please, calm down. Let's not jump into conclusions."
How. How could I not feel this scared? Seeing Haruto's reaction awhile ago, I know he's about to drift away from me.
Jae's hand patted my back as he gently pulled me for a tight hug, his hand caressing my head, trying to calm me down.
I just walked out. It was not Haruto who left me in the party, it was me... because I was too embarassed.
"Mr. Park, glad to see you here." Haruto froze on his feet when Junghwan approached me with his bright smile, he couldn't move and I know he's more flustered than I was when I saw him. I gulped so hard that I couldn't bring myself to utter a word for awhile.
"Good e-evening, Mr. So..." I bowed down my head. I met Haruto's eyes as he looked at me with doubt. "I'm looking forward for tomorrow's meeting." he said, all I can afford is to avoid Haruto's gaze because he was staring at me like he's waiting for me to clarify something. "Oh, is this your boyfriend?"
The moment he asked that, I saw Haruto shed tears again. "Junghwan..." he uttered with his voice cracked. Junghwan's eyes widened when he heard Haruto called him on his name "Do you happen to know me, Mister?" a smile flastered across Junghwan's lips and yet all I can do is tremble and bit my lips.
How lucky I was when someone called for Junghwan's attention before Haruto could find the right words to respond on his question. "Mr. So, Mr. Eunsang has been looking for you. He's waiting for you on your table."
"That jerk..." Haruto mumbled under his breath as he gritted his teeth.
And that moment, I needed to escape.
"Jeongwoo... you should haven't left Haruto alone there. He might be as surprised as you were and I'm afraid he can't handle his thoughts." that made me pause, I stopped crying as Jae held my hand. "He'll need you."
I found myself running back to the hall looking for Haruto all around. The music wasn't that loud but people are enjoying themselves, dancing and having wine.
"Haruto..." I cried silently. My feet walked its way to the rooftop, hoping Haruto would be there.
I felt my heart crashed hearing Haruto's howling. He's crying... he's in pain.
At the corner of a dark side of the rooftop, I saw him with his face buried on his knees, his shoulders moving because he's crying so hard.
I froze, afraid to move, I just felt tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Haru...to..." a lump stucked on my throat as I called him out. "You knew... he's here..." without looking at me, he said that with dismay. "Why, Jeongwoo? You... should have told me." he felt like I betrayed him. I know.
"I... was..."
I paused. "I'm... sorry." is it a mistake if I'm afraid to lose you, Haruto?
"But why.... he seems not to remember me." his voice was filled of sadness.I bit my lower lip, trying to help myself from letting a sob escape my mouth.
"He... has amnesia." that moment, he lifted his head up and his face wet of tears made my heart sank again and again.
He spaced out, like he was afraid, his eyes filled of horror as he shook his head "It's my fault. It's my fault." he repeated saying. I shook my head to disagree as I kneeled down in front of him, pulling him on my chest as I caressed his hair. "No..."
At that moment, I saw how vulnerable Haruto is. It was like seeing the young Haruto who used to cry for Junghwan leaving him. He's not yet healed, he's wounded.
I dialed Leo's number. "Leo, could you fetch us?"
Haruto was silent all throughout until we reached the hotel, if he's not biting his lips, he's spacing out and crying.
The dark room greeted us.
"I'll sleep on the couch."
I gulped, "No. Uh, just have the room, I'll need to work on something overtime." that was the truth but my heart aches now that he's simply asking for us not to sleep on the same bed for the night.
He didn't bother to respond as I just heard the door clicked.
;
"Haruto! You came?" I exclaimed in surprise, joy evident in my voice releasing the thought that he doesn't want to see me for awhile. I left without waking him up because I was in hurry.
He appeared in a black polo with his hair fixed brushed up.
He's about to enter my office, but I saw his eyes looking at the opposite direction. My smile faded.
"I'm here for Mr. So Junghwan." pain automatically stabbed my heart as I saw a tiny smile on his face with his lips pursed into thin line. Junghwan flashed him a smile as confusion came after. My feet froze on its position.
Eunsang raised him a brow as his lips draw a smirk, grinning at Haruto. "I'm sorry Mr. Watanabe but it doesn't look like you both have relationship." I saw Haruto's fist started to crumple but Eunsang was having fun seeing him getting worked up. "Uh, no, it's fine, Eunsang-ah,"
"You've gotten close, huh..." I heard Haruto murmured on the air as he gritted his teeth. "Are you perhaps interested to be partnered with my company, Mister?" I hate that Junghwan is clueless... but I can't blame him.
Haruto's eyes were focused on him, like he's examining him and adoring him at the same time. "Just call me Haruto, Junghwan. We're not strangers..."
Junghwan's face were now filled of confusion, he's staring at Eunsang as if he's waiting for him to clarify the situation.
"Haruto..." I called out for him, my knees were melting and I suddenly felt scared going close to him but I needed to stop him from confusing Junghwan. I held him on his arms "Don't confuse him like this, Haruto." I whispered but to my surprise he just threw me an expressionless gaze, dragging my hand away from holding him. I bit my lower lip trying not to get emotional.
"You're supposed to be here for your boyfriend, Mr. Watanabe." Eunsang interrupted. "I told you, right? I couldn't be so wrong about you, Ruto-ya, we're fucking friends for years."
"You know him?" Junghwan asked, looking at Eunsang as Haruto's eyes gloom staring at Junghwan.
I can see how his eyes are getting sadder staring at both, it was as if he's thinking so deep.
And here I am feeling so out of the frame. This is their story. I am nowhere to be found.
I stared at the floor trying to control myself from crying in front of them, I was just there like an audience of a movie.
But maybe I need to help Haruto.
I cleared out my throat as I take up a courage to utter the words I wanted to say.
"Mr. So... Uhmmm, can you give him some of your time to talk?" I flashed him a smile as I felt my heart getting heavier, "He just needs to do so."
He needs to talk to him. Haruto needs to talk to Junghwan. He also suffered a lot from losing Junghwan and maybe I couldn't understand it fully but I know regrets are hunting Haruto more now discovering Junghwan was alive all this time.
Maybe he was thinking they should have that time together, the time he thought he's dead and the time Junghwan lived without retrieving his memory of Haruto.
What a bummer...
"Are you letting Haruto go?" Eunsang asked. I silenced myself, pulling the pile of documents I need to read. My sight are getting blurred as tears were lodging my eyes.
"Fool." he said afterwards, that wasn't to insult me at all, it was a sympathy.
*
"Are you sure Mom's fine?" I asked Jihoon on the other line, I'll have my flight at the end of the month to see how's my Mom doing. Jihoon took some time to respond which made me worry more.
"She's good, Woo, okay? How about you? Is everything okay there?" he asked, switching topics. "We're talking about Mom, hyung." I told him.
"We'll talk soon, Jeongwoo. I'll look after Mom so take care of yourself, too. Call me if something happens."
He hang up on me and I had no choice but to trust him about Mom.
My mind wandered, how did their talk goes on? I know it will be hard for Haruto to make Junghwan believe in his words.
I spent time on the kitchen trying a recipe on my own. I killed some time with a movie and later on reading our finalized project proposal.
I flinched when I heard the door clicked and Haruto greeted my eyes.
"Haruto, you're here." I greeted him putting down the remote control as I stood up from my seat. "I cooked our favorite garlic chicken," I flashed him a smile, trying to shrug the thought of speaking about Junghwan.
He's frowning and loneliness filled his eyes. "I'm tired, Jeongwoo. I'll sleep." he said walking passed by me without throwing me a gaze, his footsteps were heavy.
I gulped as I nodded my head although he won't see it anyways, "Uh, yeah, you better take a rest. Good night."
I threw myself on the couch staring blankly on the air.
He's cold as ice. I couldn't even read him.
I held on my chest, calming my nerves down as I started palpitating. I growled silently, biting my lip as I squeezed on my chest. I've been feeling so heavy awhile ago and I should have followed my instinct about calling Dobby earlier.
No, please not now.
I cupped for my phone on the table in front, my feet becoming cold. I need to call Doyoung.
I abruptly dialed Doyoung's phone as I slowly had my body lying on the couch.
"Jeongwoo?" Doyoung's voice sounded worried as if he knew what's happening. "Dobby..." I whispered.
"I'm coming, take a deep breath, can you afford to take the pill?"
"Yeah... Dobby ... it hurts... my heart hurts."
*
Doyoung came but I dozed up to sleep afterwards, as I woke up he was just there staring at me but at that moment Haruto went out of the room with his pajamas on.
"You're here." he said coldly. I looked at Doyoung as I saw a glimpse of irritation on his face which is rare. "Yes. Just checking on Jeongwoo." he responded.
"Why is there something to check on him?" Haruto sounded pissed. "He just called me saying his heart hurts. No big deal."
"Dobby," I tried to stop Doyoung from saying more as I saw Haruto's confused expression. "Are you hurting my friend? I don't beat up people but I could beat up one if it's for Jeongwoo."
Silence invaded the room. Haruto and I were both stunned with what Doyoung said.
"How sweet of you, then."
"Just don't hurt him, if you can't afford to take care of him, you're getting too entitled then."
"Dobby... stop it already, okay?" I held him on his arms as I just flashed him a small smile shaking my head to let him know I don't want him to say more.
"Getting too arrogant? Know your place, you're just a friend." Haruto emphasized the last word in which I was hurt too. He's insulting Doyoung when I haven't heard Doyoung insulted his name.
"Haruto. Stop it." our gazes met, both burning with anger. He's pissed off, I know, he's pissing me off too.
"Taking his side as usual." he shook his head as if he was disappointed.
"I'll see you off, Dobby." I said, "No, just take a rest. We'll talk later." he insisted. I saw Haruto smirked.
"I'll go ahead."
Dobby left like a wind and it left me and Haruto alone.
"When did you met him?" he asked, sipping on the glass of water, eyes on the other direction. "Just days ago..." I said. "You didn't told me? were you going to keep it as a secret?" his voice were doubting me. "I was just trying to find the right timing..." I said, I meant it, if he believes me, I couldn't be so sure.
"I'll go back to sleep."
He can't look at me, he's avoiding my stares and he doesn't know how painful it is for me to see him not looking at me the same way he does.
"What will you do... now?" my voice cracked.
At that moment, he threw me a look straight on my eyes, "I'll make things right, if possible."
I was dumbfounded with his respond.
I'll make things right, if possible.
How... will making things right means losing him? what if making things right he'll lose me? what if we'll lose us if he made it possible to make things right between his old love...
Huh. What a bummer, really.
Am I supposed to be the extra?
Hi, this is a short chapter, the next chapter will be the narration of Junghwan and Haruto's past as well as their confrontation in the present. We still have eleven chapters~ I'm still deciding about the ending kkkkk~ Anyways, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!♡
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