A/N-- Thank you for clicking on my story! This is the first book I've wrote. So the first six chapters are very long and don't have much talking within them. Around chapter 15 you will see how my writing changed and chapters are no where near as long. Now, my works are rated Mature, there will be sexual acts, violence, and swearing. If your not comfortable with these acts please don't read further.
Hope you enjoy!
Sitting on the window edge, I look out my window watching the birds fly in the morning sunrise, their chirps fill the morning silence. I see a squirrel run across the branches making some of the autumn leaves fall to the ground. I cannot help but think about what I may do with my life, there is so much to think about since after tonight high school will finally be over for me. This all seems so surreal, I cannot believe that not only is it the last day of school, but it is also the day I turn 18. I admit it may feel more exciting if I was born with a wolf because honestly, I would be jumping for joy right now, but instead, I am lost in thought on what to do with my life because without a wolf I may not find my mate. Feeling a knot form in the pit of my stomach as the thought of not having a mate continues to stirs in my mind. I bring my hand up to my face to wipe away a few of the stray tears that tried to fall from my eyes, shaking my head slightly because I need to focus on more important things.
Now come on Claire, get yourself back together focus on the pack for now. I have to stop dwelling on what ifs. I am still not sure where I may be able to get a position within, since the pack doesn't let me really train with them due to not being born with a wolf even though both of my parents are werewolves. Maybe they will let me in a hospital part, I would make a good nurse or assistant. Well, I can count out the warrior side of the pack, with no training, plus not to mention my lack of strength, that is out the door. Sighing while I shrug back against the window seal, I cannot help but feel like I still will not have a place within the pack, although my brother is confident that I will have a place. Hearing my door creak open I sit up to see who is walking into my room unannounced and just like that, on cue, Nathan walks into view. Well, that is not creepy at all him just coming in when I was thinking about where I may have a place in the pack.
"How did you know to just walk in like that? I may have been changing out of my pajamas for all you know!" I say to Nathan.
"Oh, well for one, that is gross I don't need to think of you changing Claire. GROSS! Oh sis, why did you put that image in my head! You're my baby sister. Second, figure I'd come make sure you are up and going for the day. Plus, you need to go shopping for some new clothes for the bonfire tonight." Nathan says, as he starts laughing at me.
Scrunching up my eyebrows, trying to pull off the puppy dog eyes the best I could toward Nathan. He knows I hate to shop, never in my life have I been that girly girl. Not even to mention the countless times I have told him I was not interested in going to the bonfire.
"First of all Nathan you're the one with a dirty mind. Plus, knock before you come in and there would not be a reason to be grossed out. This is my room after all." Pausing to sigh at the next part hoping with everything I have, that he will listen to me. "Nathan I am not going shopping because I will not be going to the bonfire tonight." I glare at him saying that last part. Seriously there can only be so many times I can tell him I am not going.
"Mom and dad would be upset if you do not at least get out tonight and try to have some fun Claire. Plus, you never know, you may meet your mate or at least get offered a place in the pack" Nathan looks at me hopelessly, using big bright eyes with a soft face. He is really trying to persuade me into going with that look. "You cannot stay in here all the time, you got to get out too sis and just give it a try. Please come to the bonfire, it will be super fun Claire. I want to take you out on your birthday since you won't let me get you a gift. Besides I will be there the entire time. Once you are ready to leave, we can come home; however, I think you will have so much fun and maybe you will meet some other members of the pack or make some friends." He raises his brow at me and crossing his arms over his chest, trying to get his point across.
Okay now Nathan is hitting low ball on the friends comment at the end.
Sighing and shrugging my shoulders, "I will think about it. Okay?" Nice, I must be a sucker for his puppy dog face, which is not fair he is never phased when I use that face on him. So much for being firm on not wanting to go, now I will have to up the game in he keeps on my case. Wonder if I play sick will he stop nagging me to go? I could come with something convincing, surely. The flu does just come on all of a sudden right?
Nathan smiled softly at me before he turns to my door. I watch as he walks out shutting my bedroom door as he leaves. Turning to lookback out my window to see a few birds are still flying around but their songs are starting to fade. Sighing, I close my eyes, seriously I need to clear my mind, this is driving me crazy, all this wondering about my future. Okay Claire, one step at a time is what you need todo. Opening my eyes with that thought I look out to see it is going to be a clear day. Turning to look at the clock seeing it is 8:48a.m,well a run will do some good.
Walking over to my closet, I see my running shoes, grabbing them and closing the door to my closet. Going downstairs I walk to the back door, bending down to slip my shoes on. Standing back up to pull my hair back to put it in a quick ponytail. Opening the door as I finish putting my hair up, I slip outside. Right now, I am beyond grateful I am out here and did not run into my parents. At least I am out on the back deck now. Pulling my arms over my head, feeling the gentle stretch of my muscles as they warm up from the movement. Walking out into the yard, I push my legs out to feel the muscles loosen up as well. I set out in a slow jog heading towards the woods.
Feeling the wind as a light breeze ruffles the leaves around me, smelling the musty leaves and the crunch they leave behind as my feet pound into the earth. The autumn air is just what I needed as my mind is finally slowing down. Time feels endless out here, nothing but nature. Slowing the pace down to a brisk walk, I made my way to the turnaround tree my brother made for me. It has the same yellow ribbon around the trunk, that he put there several years back. Feeling the hard bark as I lean back against the tree, stopping for just a moment to watch two birds off in the distance flying together, seems like they are dancing in the wind. If I could love someone that freely, would it be like dancing in the wind? Sinking down to the ground with a sigh. Great! Now I am jealous over birds, but their life seems so easy in this moment, doubt they are worried about fitting into their world. My stomach starts churning as my mind wonders over all of the never-ending circle of questions within my head and not a single one I can answer.
Taking in a deep breath, I release the air out through my mouth. Well, there is no point in dwelling in the fact I can't answer my own questions. Turning back to the path to go back to the house, I take back off in a slow jog.
Making my way to the back door I bend down to take my shoes off and open the door. Walking up to my room, I place my shoes back in the closet and grab a pair of jeans and shirt for the day. Turning to the bathroom I go in and shut the door behind me quickly turning the lock, just in case anyone else decides to just march into my room. Placing the new set of clothes on the counter by the sink and turning on the water for it to warm up. I shred the sweaty clothes off, throwing them into the hamper. I step into the warm water while it cascades across my body feeling like paradise. Grabbing the washcloth and start to lather my body with the enhancing cherry blossom smell. Rinsing off quickly and turning the water off, I grab a towel and swiftly dry off watching the vent in the room seeing if it comes on. Throwing the towel into the hamper I set out to dress as fast as I possibly can.
Great Claire, like you can see the air come on, well you can hear but not see, get it together girl. What is a little cold air when your wet? Cold , freezing in the depths of the Tundra! That is what it is and by all accounts I need to stay warm. Shut it up there. What is wrong with me talking to myself? I must be losing it. Shaking my head, I head for the kitchen might as well get something to eat for the day.
Grabbing a bowl from the cabinet along with the cereal and some milk I sit at the counter. Making a small bowl of cereal, I sigh again knowing that it is just a matter of time before someone comes into the kitchen to ask me again if I am going to the bonfire yet again. I eat my food in silence but noticing my parents have not come in the kitchen. Avoiding the inevitable I get up from the counter and take everything to the sink. Quickly, washing and drying my bowl and spoon used from breakfast. I walk out of the kitchen, might as well find my parents maybe talking to them will help at least answer one of my questions.
Heading to my parents' office I open the door to see that my mom is in the corner arranging the files in the filing cabinet. My dad was at his desk working on the stack of paper work. They are typically here since they are the pack's record holders as well as the pack treasurers. Walking in to the office my dad looks up and smiles at me.
"Good morning kiddo. How was your run?" he asks with a toothy grin on his face.
"Now hun that shouldn't be the first thing you say to our daughter, especially not today." Mom laughs at my dad, turning to me. "Happy Birthday sweetheart. How was your run?"
"It was nice. The weather is beyond lovely today. Thanks mom." replying back to my mom trying not to laugh a little at how they looked at each other.
They always seem to try to say happy birthday before the other one could but I think this year my dad let mom say it first. Dad is not ready for me to be 18 years old knowing that I am officially out of school and that I can find my place within the pack. Part of it is, he doesn't want me to grow up on him. Mom on the other hand, is overexcited and has been talking about how she cannot wait for me to be able to find my own place within the pack.
"Have you decided on tonight Claire?" They ask at the same exact time.
Groaning at how that was one the questions I wanted to ask their opinion about. I shake my head at them, contemplating how to even ask my parents when the Alpha will start placing people within the pack and if going to the bonfire really even mattered.
"I was going to ask if it really mattered if I went to the bonfire tonight. Everyone keeps asking me if I am going, when I really have not decided. It seems like it is not very important to go to the bonfire to just hang out. Even if I went, it is not like I would make any friends. I didn't make any all through school so why make an effort to go to the bonfire and waste time when I could stay home just reading a book." I stop, realizing that I am ranting.
Mom comes up to me and rubs my arm. "Honey, your father and I have been asking because it is important that you go tonight. We should have told you before about how important the bonfire really is, when it comes to how the Alpha decides where within the pack each member will be." She frowns as she returns to my father's side.
"Claire, the bonfire is a very important step for every member to take after finishing school. The bonfire is where every new member will come together not only to interact with each other and make new friendships, but also possibly find their mate. It is also where the Alpha will go around talking to everyone to see what their strong suits are. It is much better, not to mention more fun, to be out socializing, instead of having meetings all day with each member just to do the same thing. This bonfire is a new way the Alpha started doing it to where the new members can meet up with existing members to where it is not only business but fun. Trust me Claire, this bonfire is so much better than the way it used to be where you just get a set time to be in the Alpha's office and answer the questions then get the judgment of where in the pack you will be placed. Claire, even though you never shifted and how much you think you don't have a place in the pack, you still have the abilities and strength as any one of us. That being said Claire there is a place for you within this pack. You are a member just like everyone else is. " My father finishes what feels like a short lecture.
"Claire if you don't go to the bonfire tonight then you will be summoned to the Alpha's office within the next few days to do the exact thing you will be doing tonight. So honestly sweetheart it would be a lot better if you went tonight, that way you're not just going around the house still stressing over where you will be placed within the pack." Mom gives me a soft smile.
"Putting it like that I do understand now and honestly wish that all of that was said way before now. For now, I would like to just think on it lightly. There is not much to think about; however, for me never being good at making friends it. It would not hurt to just have a meeting with the Alpha, even if it is at the bonfire. However, I will think about it and come back in an hour or so to tell you both what I have decided." I say, while both my parents smile at me.
"Sounds good to us Claire. We can't make you go since as of today you are an adult. It would make us proud if you would go tonight, just to try. We have always taught you and your brother to at least try." Dad says after taking a second to collect his thoughts from what I had told them.
Leaving their office, I walk back upstairs to my room. Making my way over to my bed, I sit at the end of the bed going over the conversation I just had with my parents. Sighing I let myself fall backwards laying half on the bed and my feet staying on the floor. Staring up at the ceiling, letting out a groan. Why must they always be so wise in everything they say? I know they were right about how I would stress out if I did not get answers soon about where my place may or may not be within the pack. Well Claire, let's do the most unthinkable thing we can do, we will go tonight.
Sitting up to grab my phone off the night stand to text Nathan, since I heard his car leave a few hours ago. Hopefully he gets my message because I need him to take me to the mall to get some new clothes for the bonfire. It seems that no sooner than I text Nathan I hear his car pull back up in the driveway. Looking out my window to see him look at his phone, he glanced up with a smiled waving me down. I grab my wallet and run down the stairs to the front door, just wanting to get out the door before any nerves have the chance to stop me from going shopping.