Splintered Illusion

» nine «

"The fuck did you think you were doing?!" I heard Puck's muffled voice demand.

From my peripheral, I saw his friends shrink away from him, looks of complete and utter fear splayed across their expressions. A feeling of sympathy rose inside my chest - I knew what it felt like to deal with Puck's wrath. And I'd never wish that upon anyone, not even the people who were probably about to do some really nasty things to me.

One of them raised his hands in surrender, the other guys behind him pushing him forward, as if he were going to be the one to protect them all. "We're really sorry, boss. We just wanted to have some fun and --"

"Fun?!" Puck exclaimed, his voice booming throughout the private room he'd demanded for in a pub I'd never been to. "You were going to fucking—" He stopped mid-sentence to take a deep breath, one full of nothing but rage. "If targeting an innocent girl is your idea of 'fun', then get the fuck out of here and don't come back, you useless motherfuckers!"

I startled at the tone of his voice, watching from the corner of my eye as the guys rushed to scramble out of the room.

The silence that stretched into long minutes after they left had my heart pounding rapidly inside my chest. Especially when I heard Puck's loud footsteps making their way towards the couch I lay on. I felt him crouch down behind me, my body facing the leather material of the couch instead of him as I squeezed my eyes shut.

"I know you're awake, Polly," Puck said, his warm breath fanning over my neck and sending shivers down my spine.

I shut my eyes tighter in response. "Leave me alone," I whispered, my voice trembling as I curled my legs closer to my body.

"I can't do that," he replied softly. When I didn't answer, he sighed behind me, one that spoke of exhaustion and regret and so many other feelings. "What were you doing on the other side of town this late at night, anyway?"

I continued to ignore him, opting on keeping my eyes closed.

"Polly," he said again, his voice much louder and demanding as he placed a hand on my arm, "answer me."

My eyes finally opened on their own accord and I jerked away from his hold roughly, pushing myself up into a sitting position. "Don't touch me," I hissed, pushing my body back against the sofa as far as I could. "Don't you dare touch me."

His pained, dark eyes gazed down at me sadly, narrowing when they saw the bruise on my face that I got from my father. "I'm sorry."

"Are you really?" I retorted, glaring up at him and ignoring the surge of surprise inside me as I heard him utter those two words. "You lecture those guys over targeting an innocent girl, yet, you do the same to me everyday."

Puck's eyes flew open in shock. "Polly, I --"

"Shut up," I exclaimed, tears welling up in my eyes. "I've been quiet for too long and it's my turn to speak now. You're such a hypocrite, Puck. Every day, all you've ever done is hurt me. And you never stop to think what effect it has on me."

"I understand, Polly, but --"

The bitter laugh that escaped my mouth before he could finish his sentence had him reeling back in surprise. "Understand? Understand, Puck? Are you delusional? You'll never understand what you've put me through."

"Polly...," he pleaded, his eyes begging me for what, I had no idea.

Standing, I raked a hand through my hair and sniffed, only now feeling the tears running down my face. "Y-you've made me feel so i-insecure, Puck. All these y-years, I've been so - so scared of you." My eyes turned cold as I allowed my eyes to rest on his pained face, placing my hands on his chest and shoving him with all the little energy I had left inside me.

"And I'll hate you for it...forever."

Puck dropped to his knees in front of me, looking completely and utterly defeated as I grabbed my hoodie, shoved it on and left him feeling broken with my last words hanging in the air.

»« »« »«

My mother always used to tell me that home is a place where you don't have to be afraid of being yourself - not because no one is watching you, but because the people that lived with you, the people that truly cared for and loved you, are never going to judge you. She said that home is a place where you never have to be afraid of anything because their are people right by your side, waiting to catch you when you fall, waiting to help you back up onto your feet.

The house I live in used to be my home, radiating nothing but warmth and happiness, the scent of my mom's delicious cooking wafting through every room. But now... Now it's nothing but a place that screams grief and despair. It held only but a pathetic, useless girl and a father that drank all day to drown his sorrows.

There was no one to be there by my side, to smile at me, to tell me they loved me. There was no one to catch me when I fell.

So I fell. I fell unnoticed and unwanted and unloved. I fell like the first droplet of water when it begins to rain.

»« »« »«

It was raining. The whole house was cold and I was perched on my window seat, curled up in a blanket as I watched the rain droplets patter onto my window, creating noises that were sure to rile up my dad soon. Thunder boomed from somewhere behind the clouds, lightning flashed and I shivered.

My eyes were drooping, my whole body felt worn out from the effort it took to walk back home. By the time I'd arrived, the sky had already started to brighten with the clouds, indicating that morning had approached. The chocolate bar I had bought had fell somewhere during my walk back and I hoped that some starving, homeless kid had found it. At least, they wouldn't be too hungry today.

Sighing, I watched as the breath I released turned into fog in front of my eyes before dissolving into air. That's how cold it was inside right now. My father hadn't payed the bills so electricity and water was gone. The bank was sure to kick us out any day now.

I felt tempted to worry, but at the moment, my brain was mush. My limbs felt sore and my eyes stung from the effort it took to keep them open.

Just for a moment, I think. I'll only close them for a second...

But when I do, I'm not able to resist sleep's pull and fall into a deep slumber - one I wish to never be woken from.

TYSM for all the support! <3 My notifications are kinda cluttered so don't feel down if I don't post a message on your board about how grateful I am to you! :)