Jori Collections: 2017-2021

(1.5.20) Shell - T, 1.4k [A]

["'I-I don't know whether or not to fucking punch you or—or kiss you...'"]

She stared at the empty space in her room with her heart hammering against her ears. Jade blinked, navigating the labyrinth in her head, desperately wishing to know what the hell just happened. At first, everything was fine. Then, great—really great. And after, bad. Rotten. Now, it was lonely, all within a few minutes.

A creak from the broken stair broke Jade out of her dumbfounded trance. Without a second thought, she bounded down the hallway, and leapt down the stairs. At the front door, Tori stood, eyes wide in shock before Jade halted precariously. The door was slammed shut, Jade's palms hard against it. Tori stared, caught in between her hands. "What are you doing?" she snapped, struggling to collect herself. "Why—why are you leaving?"

Tori's eyes were still glassy, forcing Jade's grip against the door to slacken. "You," her voice quivered angrily. "You are the one who keep bringing me here and then sending me away without any reason!"

"I..." Whatever Jade had to say was gone, caught in her throat.

"Oh wait, that's right," Tori hissed, "Beck's easier, isn't he?"

Jade furrowed her eyebrows, dumbstruck. "I never— I didn't say—"

"Fuck off. You know, it's polite to tell people whenever they're your experiment!" By this time, Jade unlatched herself from the door and backed away. "But no, you have to be a bitch—"

"I never fucking— I said he would— Quit—"

Tori brushed a stray tear from her cheek before snapping, "Don't lie to me! Everybody knows you two always are in his RV, going—"

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Jade felt her eyes sting and hands tremble. "How do I know you aren't just using me as an experiment!? With Daniel, Steven and Ryder, or whoever the fuck!"

"At least I told you about them! I'm not trying to hide—"

"I never fucking—"

"Oh yes you are! Why do you throw me out every time we try something, huh?" Once again, Jade felt a plethora of words pile on, scrambling. But nothing was said. She swallowed as Tori scoffed. "Right," she growled, her voice stricken. "Go back to Beck and toss me aside. Everybody at school knows already."

Jade worked her jaw, the final string snapping. "Can't you get it through your fucking head that I never had fucking sex with Beck?" Her voice was unsettlingly even. It ripped the words right out of Tori's mouth. "Why the fuck do you have to think I'm this slut like everybody else?" Then, a dam broke. All of the words that were crammed in her throat flooded out of her. "Why the fuck does EVERYBODY ASSUME THAT JUST BECAUSE WE'VE DATED FOR THREE—FUCKING—YEARS THAT WE'D FUCK EVERY OTHER DAY?! AND DON'T START WITH ME AND JUST TELL ME OTHERWISE!" Her voice was already too raw for anything louder than a low hiss: "I've never had sex with Beck, got it? Because I never wanted to. I never wanted to with any boy I've been with. I've never had sex, so quit fucking insinuating that I have or you'll be like the other pieces of shits at the school. And why the hell do you believe them like they're a fucking bible anyway—"

"Jade," Tori wept, the first thing she could manage to feebly cry out. "I—"

"Let me finish one damn thought!" Jade snapped. She swallowed, staring at Tori who remained dead silent at the door. Jade then scowled to herself. "Actually, just fucking go. If you're like those fucking cunts, you're just a waste of time." Jade stormed away, toppling over a vase as she made her way up the stairs. It shattered against the wood floor, pieces sliding by Tori's boots.

Once the bedroom door was slammed shut, the whole house trembled. Tori most of all. Her eyes didn't leave the remains of the vase as she felt the pulse of her heart beat in the back of her neck, her chest, her ears, throat, hands and stomach. It was a horrible feeling, the way her queasy body churned with regret and humiliation. Tori unplastered a hand that she didn't even realize was gripping the doorknob so tightly. With one look up the stairs, she took a step forward. And another step...then another.

As she crept up the stairs, Tori felt numb, her thoughts of reaching Jade's room coming after the fact. Carefully, Tori opened the door. Jade was against her bed, head tucked into a ball. Tori walked into the room and sat down beside her, knees to her chest. Even though it wasn't a surprise, she felt her chest sting as Jade moved away. Tori opened her mouth to speak, though like the last few minutes, she found it hard to.

Even so, she pressed on: "Jade," she murmured softly, "you could've told me..."

Jade lifted her eyes and glared firmly. It didn't matter if they were a little red, Tori still felt the hostility within them. "I. Did. Twice. What, third time's a charm?"

"N-no, I mean, you did but...you never told me about your other boyfriends."

"Does it really matter? Honestly."

"I...I guess not." Tori wrung her wrists nervously, her eyes kept on Jade's brooding shoulder. "But...if it makes you feel better, I only did it with Steven—once—and it was bad." And by the silence she received, it didn't help. So, Tori sighed and murmured, "I'm sorry, Jade. I didn't mean to make assumptions."

"Assumptions," Jade hissed lowly. "That's what you call it. That's what you seriously call not believing me when I told you before?"

"No— I believe you, Jade—"

"Obviously not because this is the first time you're acknowledging it." Because of the storm in Jade's eyes, Tori felt smaller suddenly. Speechless. The storm brewed, churning with a curious jumble of emotions that she couldn't comprehend—that either of them couldn't comprehend. "I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared to do anything," Jade started slowly, her voice weak and scratched. "But..." Her jaw clenched and her grey eyes grew steely. "But I'm not terrified because you're a girl, or because my mom and dad would kill me if they found out...

"Beck is easier. Not because he is so eager into getting something he'll never do with me, but because he isn't so fucking hard to talk to. And I can't with you. You are the most difficult person I've ever had to talk to and it drives me insane. I can't even look at you half the time! I don't know if you're different from all the other girls at school, or just the same. I don't know whether or not I want to do anything with you. I don't know why I want to. And hell, I don't know whether or not to—" A sob broke out, and Jade burrowed her head between her hands, trembling. "I-I don't know whether or not to fucking punch you or—or kiss you."

Tori allowed her gaze to drift to the floor, something bitter coating her tongue. Perhaps it was guilt, or maybe sorrow. Whatever the case, she looked to Jade's shoulder and rubbed her back. "You're not either. I-I know that's not a good reason, but Jade...you poured coffee on me on the first day of school. You've always competed for roles and...and those are amongst a shit ton of things. I don't know how to talk to you either, and I'm trying. You can't just shut me out every time I screw up, and I know that's a lot more than I want to admit." Jade didn't move away from her hand, nor did she slide away once Tori edged herself closer. "I still really like you, regardless of whatever people at school are telling the truth or not."

Jade lifted her head and watched Tori carefully, her eyes soft. "...really?" she asked quietly.

Tori nodded, her hand to a pastel cheek. And to cement her answer further, she kissed Jade. Once she broke away, she felt Jade's hand around her back, pulling her closer.

Everything was great, now. Really great.

Even if they were amongst the chaos they managed to create.