the feeling of worthlessness; hoseok centric

12

had it struck namjoon that the reason hoseok had left was because of the pack? yes. multiple times. the beta was unhappy, namjoon curled into himself, hoseok was always unhappy.

so when he was happy for once, why did it hurt? was it because hoseok was happy with someone else? someone who wasn't them? someone who made hoseok realise he was worth something.

namjoon bit his lip.

he's heard the beta cry in his room late at night, they all have. yet, they stood there and listened. no one bothered to comfort him but instead opted to blame everything on him. this was all their fault.

'hoseok-ah, let's take you to the doctors then eat something to eat okay?' hoseok let out a sound of confusion as he looked up at jaebum. 'why?'

'because you've been talking about all these random stomach pains and...i just want to make sure you're okay.' when hoseok remained quiet jaebum had feared he had angered the beta in some way, apologies now started making their way onto the tip of jaebum's tongue. 'oh...yeah okay hyung. let's do that then.'

'we don't have to if you don't want to...'
hoseok chuckled and waved jaebum off, 'don't worry i'll go. just not used to being fussed over and whatever.'

jaebum frowned at that, hoseok deserved the world and his pack would give him that.

'mr jung? you've...you've caught a stomach bug. it's nothing to worry about really.' the doctor looked apprehensive as he handed a small bottle of pills over to the beta. 'take these every six hours and it should be gone before you know it.' hoseok nodded before he bowed and left the clinic.

that doctor seemed strange.

'thank god you're not dying.' jaebum joked as hoseok hopped into the car. the beta scoffed with a playful grin. 'yeah, yeah. if anything you were the overdramatic one.' jaebum just laughed at that and started reversing out of his parking spot. 'anyways, i was thinking that maybe we could stop by a pharmacy so i could get some scent suppressents.'

the car went silent very quickly. 'don't you think you should stay off of those for a while babe? it's only been a few weeks since you've hopped off them, and won't they interfere with these pills?' hoseok watched as jaebum shook the bottle the doctor had given him.

'ye-yeah i guess but...i dunno.' he felt stumped. hoseok was so used to taking the scent suppressants that he felt a bit jumpy and cautious now that his scent was out in the open. 'we can get you scent suppressors seok, but not the pills.'

hoseok breathed a small sigh, before reaching over and hugging the alpha. 'thank you hyung.'

'anytime. now on a more serious note, korean hotdogs or honey chicken for lunch?' the two ended up getting both, they now waited at a stall which sold korean hotdogs and were now waiting in a make shift waiting area.

'is that...hoseok hyung!' the beta turned his head towards where his name was called out and his heart dropped.

a tall, brunette omega was now running towards him.

namjoon was running towards him.

jaebum must've picked up on the spike in hoseok's scent because the beta was pulled into his side in an instant. 'hoseok hyung!' namjoon panted, reaching to touch the beta only to be met with a low growl from jaebum.

'i-i was just...' namjoon gasped out as his eyes flickered between hoseok and jaebum. the omega clenched his fists, afraid and confused. if he were to try and reach out to hoseok again the alpha might bite his hand off. but-but hoseok was so close to him. the closest he's been to namjoon in a month.

he didn't mean any harm towards the both of them. he just wanted hoseok.

the omega decided to slowly back off, looking up to hoseok with teary eyes. 'i-im sorry...' was all namjoon whispered before he ran off in the direction he came in.

if hoseok's eyesight was even worse than it already was he wouldn't have caught a glimpse of taehyung's longing stare; even as namjoon tried to tug him away while on the verge of crying.

'you okay?' jaebum had quietly asked as the two grabbed their food. they were on their way towards the car, both deciding to quickly get there and drive home so the food was still warm enough to eat.

'yeah just...' hoseok looked out the window, 'just a little overwhelmed. feels weird to see namjoon again.'

namjoon was the closest to hoseok. but, it felt weird. almost as if they were just friends or barely that.

did namjoon know anything about him, the same way hoseok knew everything about him?

hoseok knew the way namjoon liked his bed made, his tea, his baths, his birthday, his everything and yet, it wasn't enough for namjoon, for seokjin, for anyone to give him the attention he had once had.

but things aren't like that anymore...

that's what hoseok reminded himself again and again.

as mark feed him and as jinyoung peppered his face with light kisses till he fell asleep, hoseok realised that maybe now...

he was enough.