the dependence

truth

I felt a soft touch playing with my hair as I was lulled by that touch that slowly moved on my cheek, creating electricity on my skin.
When I opened my eyes I saw Carol's gaze on me, happily playing with the locks of my hair.
'Good morning' Carol whispered, rubbing my cheek with her cold hand.
I took her hand softly and placed a kiss on her palm, repositioning it on my cheek, enjoying the feel of Carol's gentle touch.
'I missed you' I said softly.
I saw her smile slightly at my statement almost as if she felt more sure of being wanted, she needed certainties, confirmations, she was insecure, just like me.
'Oh? Where's Rindy? ' Carol said and sat on the bed.
She was still under the influence of the anesthetics, I could hear it from her trembling voice, so I held her lightly by the arm, helping her to sit down.
'Lie down, you better not make an effort for the next few days' I said again supporting the woman by my side.
'Rindy was here, I saw her,' Carol said and stood up tearing off most of the wires and syringes that connected her to the hospital monitor.
'Carol, no, sit down' I said and held her lightly by her hips placing her softly back on the bed.
Carol looked at me in defeat and leaned softly against me.
'I'll go get you a cup of tea, don't move.' I kissed her on the head and got up, walking towards the door.
I had completely lost control of things, the woman I loved was sad and it was clear to everyone, I should have made her happy but in reality I made her commit such an extreme act.
So that means it was my fault.
I made her sad I should have made up for it, maybe I should have called Rindy and told her the truth, I couldn't always hide behind Carol's unstable figure, I was just a coward.
Without thinking I took the cup of tea from the counter and with a mechanical movement, while I was lost in my thoughts, I walked towards the room where I had left Carol a few minutes earlier.
I took a deep breath trying to eliminate all those thoughts that haunted me, now even in my dreams, but the moment I opened the door I noticed that it was empty.
Carol was missing.
A feeling of panic began to rise, I put the cup quickly on the bedside table next to the bed and from the window you can see the figure of Carol coming out of the hospital.
'Fuck' I whispered and starts running, making space for me among the people.
'Carol!' I said running towards the woman who had unsteadily left the hospital and was in the rain.
'Carol, damn what are you doing?' I said and she walked towards me touching her wet face from the rain.
'Rindy, she was here Abby ...' she said My heart broke into pieces for her tone of voice.
'Maybe she'll come back, we have to go in now' I said and slowly my clothes stick to my body from the rain making me shiver from the cold.
'I want to stay here, I'll sit on that bench, protected from the rain, I'll wait for her' Carol said, rubbing her arms in the cold.
I was completely destroyed, tired, sad and frightened for this woman who seemed so broken, her every word became more and more the demonstration of what I thought;
I never had anyone to take care of her.
'I promise I'll call her, now we have to go in, please' I said with the kindest bull I could use and put my fingers between hers, slowly walking towards the main hospital door.
I was so confused, I wanted to do something for this woman, to make her happy but I didn't know what and it was making me sad.
I waited for Carol to come into the room and picked up the phone to call Rindy.
'Yes?' Rindy said as she answered the phone
'Rindy ... something happened. Your mother is in the hospital 'I said
'What? I'm on my way 'She said, unplugging the phone.
I was so worried about Carol, maybe it wasn't the best idea to call Rindy but I was sure the woman with the sea-colored eyes would never give up.
I went into the room and saw her playing with the pillow case worriedly.
'I called her' I said 'Don't worry' I sat softly beside her.
Carol rested her head lightly on my shoulder losing all her forces and her stubbornness.
I was so worried that I couldn't help but turn the face of the woman to me, I wanted to make sure she was okay.
Without realizing it I placed a kiss on her lips softly.
I don't know how long it had been since I approached and kissed her but suddenly the door to the room opened.
'What's going on here?' Rindy's voice boomed in the room.