The Red Knight - Merlin BBC [2]

Chapter 4: On The Road

Gaius still looks sceptical, but he nods, pulling me into another quick hug. "Look after yourself, Edythe." 

I make my way down to the square, hoping to find that the horses are ready for us to ride as soon as possible. I'm not particularly eager to leave Camelot anymore. It's my safe place. I've spent my whole life looking for somewhere to belong, so now that I have to leave it...that is my last wish.

The symbol continues to cross my mind bringing back memories I have long pushed to the back of my mind. Every step I descend the stone stairs, another memory passes on a thought. I keep telling myself that everything will be fine and that we're going to get the stone without fuss. Yet my mind isn't quiet as I think of all the people and things associated with that symbol... how I was once associated with that symbol...

***

The sway of my horse keeps my thoughts at bay. My focus on the movement of the horse and my own body, the sound of hoof on the ground. The chatter of men sounds distant to my ears as I tune out from the world around me. I should be enjoying my time in the forest, which was once my home. Instead, I find myself in complete silence and a distant world.

I'm doing this to stop myself from overthinking this whole mission. We need to stay focused. If I spend the entire time thinking about things that could go wrong, everything will go wrong.

"What is this? Edythe, quiet? I never thought I'd see the day!" cries Gwaine from beside me, pocking my shoulder as he does so.

"It's called thinking. Perhaps you should try it sometime", I respond, turning to Gwaine with a sarcastic smile.

"I find that thinking it far too much work and doesn't leave room for improvisation", Gwaine argues. "Spontaneous decisions, however, are more fun. You never know what you're going to get."

"Fun isn't exactly the word I would use."

"Such a downer", Gwaine groans "alright, I'll play. What is on your mind, E?"

"Just...had a bad memory is all. I'll be back to myself as soon as we get this stone and get headed home," I admit. Gwaine and I fall behind the group to talk in private.

I never can lie to Gwaine. He's learnt to detect my lies, as I have his. Our friendship was built on trust and honesty. It made our bond stronger than I've had with anyone: even Jackson, my childhood best friend. In ways, Gwaine and I know more about each other than I did about Jackson. After what he did, I felt like I didn't even know him.

"You know you're safe in Camelot now, right?" Gwaine offers, voice softer than usual.

"I know", I agree, voice also lighter. "But that's not what I'm worried about."

"Then what are you worried about?"

"I haven't ventured into this world in so long, the dark hidden societies, I mean. I'm scared that I'm too confident about getting this stone back. Gaius made a point earlier. I don't belong in that world anymore, so how can I guarantee that I'm not leading you guys into a trap?"

"We trust you", Gwaine acknowledges ", and I don't think this will be a trap. I spent most of my life dealing with crooks and criminals of all kinds. I don't know how I survived most of them, to be honest. And they were all the same idiots. This thief we're after. He'll be no different. No offence."

"None taken..."

"You care about this kid, don't you?" He adds, seeing my reluctance to make a joke toward that or even to fight his comment.

"All I know is that I did when he was a child. I don't know who he is now, but-" I pause, trying to find the right words. "I can't bring myself to think of him as a bad person. Do you know what I mean? To have an image of someone, and to have everyone else tell you it's a lie...."