I Don't Have The Answer.

Chapter Twenty-Two

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So I lied. I didn't update after 5 votes, and I'm sorry. 

This time, I'm not updating until I get 5 comments and 15 votes. Ha.

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Anyways, I'm sorry and I love you all.

 “Niall, I-” I began, the second I walked through the door.

“Sarah, please.” Niall began, trying to hold back his tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I tried to push you to long term stuff, I really am. don’t know what’s meant to happen right now, what am I meant to say,I don't have the answer to this,  I-I just have no idea. Louis said perhaps one of us should move out, and get some space. Perhaps that would be best” I

“Wa-wait, you’re breaking up with me?” I said, now not even trying to stop my tears.

“Sarah, I’m sorry, its jus-it’s just what might be best,” 

“’It’s what’s best? Best for who Niall? Best for the band? Best for your douchebag management? Best for you? I bet you can’t fucking wait for Demi Lovato to know you’re single.  Finally one of you would have a girlfriend management approve of. Good for you Niall. Good for you. I’m leaving. Give me half an hour and you’ll never have to fucking speak to me again” And with that, I left him standing in the hallway, stunned at what I had just said.

In twenty three minutes, you can watch almost a quarter of a football match, you can colour your hair, you can destroy a room and make it look like a person had never lived there. You can change the world, or tear apart someone else’s.  And that’s exactly how long it took me to pack up, and walk right out of Niall’s life, or as he says it ‘get some space.’

I had called Harry, who was bringing his Range Rover round to pick my things up and take them to his and Tahnee’s house.

As I hauled my suitcase in one hand, and a duffle bag in the other, Niall was sitting at the kitchen table with red eyes and a bottle of vodka in hand. “Sarah, please don’t leave, I never meant to say those things, darling please don’t leave!” He said, sounding sincere, but then giving a drunken hiccup after he said it. “Niall, it was your idea. I’m sick of your shit. Fucking get off me!” I yelled as I pushed him backwards, knocking the bottle out of his hand, watching it smash into a million little pieces on the tiles did, and knowing that that is exactly what he did to my heart.  Suddenly, Harry’s caller ID lit up on my phone, to let me know he was here to pick me up.

“Later Niall, call me when you think you’ve had enough time.” I said, not even daring to look at him, as I walked out the door, knowing all too well, that I may never be back.

As soon as I had slammed the door of Harry’s car closed, I broke down in tears. I had just lost the love of my life, the boy who I really thought I was going to marry one day. The one boy I had given everything to.  And now he was gone. He had slipped right through my fingers, and now I had to pick up all the pieces and put myself back together.

The one piece of advice Louis gave me, the day my sister died, was this; “Sarah, never let yourself fall, because it take twice as long to put yourself back together, then it does to fall apart.”

And he was right.

*ONE WEEK LATER*

Louis and Harry had helped me move into my new flat, which was three floors up from Harry and Tahnee’s, and seven doors over from Louis and Eleanor’s, so I would always have someone to talk to.