severus snape imagines 🐍❤️

• After Her •

severus snape x reader
angst! i'm not lying to you <3
-

That night was supposed to be wonderful. You were supposed to have a nice dinner with your boyfriend and danced away all your problems. It was supposed to feel as if the world was built for the two of you.

But it did not happen that way.

You did not remember how and why it started but now you were in the verge of tears, and Severus was containing himself from yelling at you out of anger. You did not dare to look him in the eyes, afraid if you did not see love in them.

"You can't even look at me, Y/N. And you claimed I was distant with you."

He spat, venom was dripping from his voice. Yes, that was the reason. You were not mad at him. You were just asking if you did something wrong until he was distant with you for weeks. That question was supposed to put the blame on you, but now Severus was furious and you were confused.

"I'm sorry. I just thought that I did something wrong to upset you."

You said, slowly looking up at the love of your life. Severus was a difficult man to deal with, but you loved him. No matter how hard he tried to push you away, you would always come back.

"I just want to know why you have been so far from me. You're here but it feels as if you are running away from me..."

Your voice broke, tears streamed down your face as you tore your gaze from him. Severus's heart clenched at your words but his mind was clouded by his rage.

"Why are you crying, Y/N? You're not the victim here."

He said harshly, regretting it right away when he saw hurt was evident in your eyes. He wanted to apologise and wrap you in his arms but these few weeks had been rough for him. He was not thinking straight.

"Sev, I'm here for you if you want to tell me anything. You don't have to shut me out."

You found the courage to get those words out. You gave him a small smile but he just glared daggers at you.

"Tell you? You cannot do anything, Y/N. You're weak. All you can do is cry about your problems and now you want to hear mine?"

He did not mean that. Severus hated to see you cry. He did not mean to shut you out. He just wanted to protect you.

"I bet Lily would've known how to help me..."

He muttered under his breath, but loud enough for you to hear him. Your heart broke at those words and you shook your head in disbelief. He was comparing you with her.

"How could you, Severus..."

Your lips trembled as you sobbed uncontrollably. After years, you thought Severus was finally yours. You looked him in the eyes and Severus almost winced at how heartbroken you looked.

"It's always been her, isn't it?"

You chuckled half-heartedly, not even mind to wipe your tears away. You knew you looked pathetic but you did not care. He was calling you weak anyways.

"Love, I did not mean that."

He tried to reach out for you but you backed away, glaring at him. How dare he? You loved him with all of your heart and he was pretending as if he was in love with you, while it was always her in his heart.

"Y/N, my love, please listen..."

Severus felt as if his world was falling apart when you pushed him away. He squeezed your shoulders and forced you to look him in the eyes. His eyes were glistened with tears and the sight of him shattered your heart. But your heart was already broken.

"Don't look at me like that, Snape."

You warned, and his heart was torn when you called him by his last name.

"Like what?"

"Like you're in love with me."

You whispered, smiling sadly at the man who had your heart in his hands and crushed it with no sympathy.

"But I love you!"

He screamed, desperately wanting you to believe him. He screwed up a few times before. But now that Lily was the reason, he knew you hated him. He knew you would never forgive him. You were too precious to be compared with anyone else and he knew that. Unfortunately, he made the mistake.

"Any other lies left to tell me?"

You asked, wiping away your tears. Severus frowned, slowly letting go of you. Was he losing you?

"Y/N, love..."

"Don't call me that."

You were disgusted. You could not stay anymore. You would sacrifice your whole life for this man but what he did was unacceptable.

"I'm just a woman that came after her, Severus. Now I know that she's the only one and you have never loved me."

Severus shook his head violently. That was not true. Not even a little bit. You were more than just a woman who came after Lily. You were the only person who managed to make your way into his heart. He loved you, so much that he would die for you. But apparently, he was not showing his love for you and he was losing you.

"Forgive me, Y/N. But trust me, I love you."

He cried. Your eyes widen as you saw he was crying because of you. You wanted to comfort him and tell him that it was alright. But it wasn't.

Everything was wrong.

"I'm leaving."

Those words would haunt Severus for the rest of his life, knowing that the only person that he loved was walking away from him. It was all his fault.

"No, Y/N... Let me fix this. Please believe me."

He was stopping you and tried to pull you into his arms. You hit his chest and cried as you tried to leave. You knew he was hurting, but you were hurting too. Both of you were in pain if you kept being together.

"Severus!"

You screamed, and cupped his face with your hands. He let tears roll down upon his cheeks, and you wiped them away with your thumbs. Perhaps it would be the last time you looked into his beautiful pair of eyes.

"I need to leave."

You whispered, still looking into his eyes. This man was everything to you and he did not even know it.

"I love you but we both know I cannot stay."

Your heart bled as you let go of him and walked towards the door. He gripped your wrist and pulled you back into his chest. You wanted to fight, but you could not. Being in his arms was the safest place you could ever been. But then you reminded of how he always forgot to appreciate your presence.

"Move out of my way before I make you."

You threatened, more to yourself than to him as you decided to leave the warmth of his arms. Severus finally obliged, knowing that there was nothing he could do to stop you.

"I love you, Sev. I love you so much but you hurt me."

He nodded at your words. He loved you too, but he knew you both needed time away from each other. Your love was too strong that he was too weak to have it. But he knew one day he would be ready.

"I will always be here for you, love. Because I love you, and this is not a lie."

He said, allowing a sad smile to crack on his lips. You could not stop crying and you knew if you stopped one more time, you won't be able to leave. Thus, you gave him a nod and left. You did not know if you left forever, or you would come back. But now, you just wanted to be far away from him.

"I'm sorry for making you feel as if you weren't enough when you're more than enough for me."

Severus said, but you were gone.

Oh, how he wished he said that when you were still by his side, putting up with him through his ups and downs like you always did. He realised, he was not always there for you. He had never been there for you.

-
17th November 2020