Hold Me Down

chapter 48

I wake up in an empty bed.

It's morning; the room is bathed in sunlight. The first thing I notice is my clothes folded neatly at the foot of the bed. I put those on and look around.

I didn't get the chance to observe the bedroom last night because it had been dark. But now I could see that it was finely decorated, having a thick plush rug and intricately carved four-poster bed frame. There was a matching dark spruce wood nightstand and chair in the corner. I pictured Will and I waking up every morning like this. Isolated in the wilderness with only each other for company. Swimming and laughing and talking about anything and everything. Being happy together.

I caught myself admitting that I wanted that life. I hoped for more days like these, where Will was vulnerable with me and I could see him. It was so rare that this person slipped through the cracks in his armor. He'd been so sweet last night. I had pushed away my feelings for him for so so long.

I trod downstairs to see Will cooking in the kitchen. I stand in the doorway and silently appraise him. He's shirtless and his pants hang low on his hips. I watch the muscles on his back flex and roll as he flips pancakes.

"Enjoying the view?" he says without turning around.

"Maybe," I say. He turns around and grins.

"Go make yourself a plate," he motions to the table. I oblige, grabbing a plate and loading it with fruit, eggs and toast before sitting down. He joins me a second later and slides me a plate of pancakes.

"How'd you sleep?" he asks me.

"Good," I say while taking a sip of apple juice. "You?"

"It was the best sleep I ever had," he grins.

"Really?"

"Well duh. I was with you."

My heart flutters and I blush. It was sweet little things like this that made me want Will and I to be more than what we were. This beautiful man who was a boy at heart was so endlessly meaningful to me. I couldn't believe how jealous I'd gotten when he was talking to Tatiana. He brought out the best and worst in me.

I wanted to reach across the table and hold his hand but I couldn't. Gestures like those were for couples. I bite back a twinge of sadness at not being able to call him my own. What would I give to be able to go on dates with him, touch him unwarranted, or have him love me like I loved him.

I love him.

That can't be possible. The thought has me reeling.

"Tessa," Will waves a hand in front of my face.

"Yes?"

"Your food's getting cold and we have to leave soon. You've got to get back into the city."

"Oh." I take a couple more bites and help Will clean up. All the while, I keep sneaking glances at him only to catch him looking right back at me.

"What?" I ask.

"You're beautiful and I can't stop looking at you," he blurts out.

I go scarlet. My knees grow weak at the effect of his words on me. He looked embarrassed, like he'd been wanting to say that for awhile but didn't mean to say it. Was I special to him? I hoped so.

I simply wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, shortly and sweetly.

"Thank you," I gaze up at his softened eyes. A pang goes through me when I realize how much he means to me. He looks at me intensely.

"Tessa, I-"

The sound of his phone ringing cuts him off. We both spring apart.

"We've got to go," he tells me. He takes my hand and leads me out the door to his car. He opens the door for me, not letting go of me until he has to.