I Know Your Secret-Death Note

I'd Still Love You

       L had never known true terror until he heard Ori screaming his name. She sounded enraged and he could tell immediately that something had gone wrong.

       He was with Matsui. Not his first choice, but the man had said he needed to talk to L, and it sounded really urgent, so with an annoyed groan, L rose from his seat and followed him. They walked down one of the many halls until they were far from the camera screens.

       "Matsuda, what's the meaning of this? I'm busy."

       "What's going on between you and Maggie?" His brows were furrowed and his eyes were focused. L wanted to kick him in the face.

       "Nothing's going on, and even if there was, it's none of your business." He went to turn around again, but Matsuda caught his arm. 

       "Something is going on and it is my business because as long as you and Maggie keep fighting, people are going to continue to die while you two are too angry to pull your heads out of your asses and do something about it!" L sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was tiring.

       "Matsuda, I'm not going to let my past relationship with Ms. Cobbs stop me from finding a serial killer."

       "I don't buy that. I know you care about her, and I know she cares about you too, but you have to talk."

       "There's absolutely nothing to talk about."

       "Nothing to talk about?" He whispered in disbelief. "Maggie looks like a wreck, and Watari told me she woke up from nightmares so bad she was throwing up. You can't seriously expect me to agree with you and say that nothing's going on."

       "Whatever's going on with Ms. Cobbs, she can figure out on her own."

       "She can't figure anything out on her own! Yes, she's brilliant, but she's not even twenty-years-old yet, and her mother was murdered, got her what I'm assuming was her first boyfriend after stressing out over her feelings because you kissed her, then got dumped over God knows what! She was angry because you tied up a girl the same age as her for questioning. Not only do I think that it was more than a little traumatizing, but I'm guessing you never even told her, based on her reaction!" Matsuda was breathing hard, his eyes alive with fire. L chewed on his lower lip.

       I'm more than aware of the steps we have to take to find Kira, but I thought we were a team.

       "I never told her." It was like a police confession. Was this how criminals felt after hours of interrogation when they finally cracked? "I didn't tell her anything."

       "I figured," Matsuda sneered, "but now how did it escalate to you guys breaking up?" L almost didn't want to say it. No, he definitely didn't want to say it. Talking to Matsuda only made him feel like an asshole. He fell against the wall, covering his eyes 

       "I called her a leech, I accused her of not loving me because she hadn't said it yet, and I basically told her I was in charge of her." He didn't want to see the look on Matsuda's face, though, he'd rather talk to Matsuda than Cheif Yagami; L was sure he'd end up with a black eye.

       "Because she wanted you to trust her? And as for her not saying the L-word, I'm pretty sure loving you is the hardest thing she can do. You do realize that the last person she loved was her mother, right? She's probably terrified that you were going to vanish or die because of Kira."

       The last person I ever loved fucking killed herself and put me in the hospital.

       "And you're not in charge of her. You're her boss, not her owner. She doesn't belong to you and neither does anyone on the Task Force. We're here to find Kira, nothing else."

       "RYUZAKI!!!" The scream shot through the air, bringing instant silence with it. It was unmistakenly Ori's voice. L took his hand away from his face, seeing Ori marching towards them, hair swinging around her as if performing a complicated dance only she knew, catching gold in the lights. She looked frightening and beautiful, like some sort of Greek Goddess; L couldn't tear his eyes away. Matsuda patted him on the shoulder, whispering in his ear and then walking away.

       "Good luck, man, but I'm not stickin' around for this." And like a scared squirrel, he was gone. Ori only drew closer, her sea eyes her bright with rage. Truly frightening. Even though she was a good five or six inches shorter than him, she was able to get him down to her level by grabbing the collar of his shirt and yanking him down. He stumbled, struggling to catch his balance.

       "What is wrong with you?! Are you a fucking idiot?! Why weren't you with Misa?! We almost lost all chances of interrogating her!"

       "What?" He asked dumbly. That only seemed to make Ori angrier and she shoved him into the wall. 

       "She tried to bite her mothefucking tongue off. Watari had to shove his glove in her mouth and got bit! She broke the skin, L!" She was seething. So angry her face was flushed high on her cheekbones. Her freckles were dark against the pink of her face. Gold flecks white. 

       "Matsuda had to talk to me."

      "Matsuda would drag you away for a game of Old Maid. He'd ask you to leave to show you a magazine of Misa without her being there." She jabbed him in the chest, hard. "You're our boss, right?" She spat out. "You're in charge of the Kira Case and anyone who resides in it, aren't you? That includes your suspects. You have a job, and people are dying." L focused on her mouth as she talked. It was plush and pink and he could see faint freckles dotting her upper lip. He watched the way her lips moved quickly, harsh movements that had him collapsing into her. It felt like he was breathing clean air for the first time. He drowned himself in her body wash, pushed himself into it. He'd gone too far before. He'd said things he hadn't meant and he wouldn't be able to take them back no matter how much he wanted to. She'd always have that memory of him in her mind, even if he tried to bury it beneath all the love he could afford to give, but he could try all the same. He could love her here or anywhere else. He'd love her with his dying breath and each breath he took while he was still living. He'd love her the way the moon loves the stars and how the fish love the sea. How the birds love the breeze they fly through and how Gaia loved Uranus. He'd love her when she pushed him away and if she pulled him close. He'd love her if Kira won and when Kira lost.

       He gathered her in his arms, his mouth mashed against hers, greedily swallowing any surprised noise she was about to make. He had one hand cradling her jaw and the other hugging her close by the hips. He could push every ounce of his feelings into this kiss if he tried, but he didn't want to. L wanted her to know he loved her with each kiss. With each caress, both lazy and urgent. With each tear she let fall and each one she tried to hold back. He'd let her feel it all, every time she needed and wanted. 

      Tears were falling now, but it was hard to tell who they belonged to. L didn't care, he needed her to know that while he may lash out at her again, he'd never truly mean it. He'd always come crawling back for forgiveness until she kicked him out for good. All the things he couldn't say, every single word that he couldn't help but hold back, he'd push into his actions until she wanted nothing from him anymore. He knew that day would come. Sooner or later, she'd want him out of her life forever, but as far as he knew, that day wasn't there yet. They were still them, and he belonged to her. Even when she wouldn't want him. 

      So he continued to hold her close, not letting go until all his actions were received and understood.

       The Kira Case could wait.

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       I'm about to make L go to Horny Jail. Guys, can we get some fanart of Ori and L? XD
       "If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever."
       ― Alfred Tennyson