I Know Your Secret-Death Note

Are You a Leech?

       "Okay. Three minutes." His voice was unusually cold. Ori didn't like how it sounded coming from his mouth. It sounded like she was wasting his time.

       "I'm holding Misa in a confinement cell to interrogate her until she reveals herself as Kira 2 and Light as Kira. Happy?" He turned his back on her, sitting down again. Ori's eyes were wide with disbelief. 

       "Happy? How could I be happy with that? You didn't tell me anything. I was completely in the dark."

       "That's what you're upset about? I thought you'd be more concerned about Misa's well-being." His back was still facing her. She surged forward and turned his chair around. In his crouched position, he was almost as tall as her.

       "I'm more than aware of the steps we have to take to find Kira and whoever may be on their side, but I thought we were a team. How could you not tell me anything about this? Did you think I would just let this fly and be okay with it? I'm not just another-"

       "Another what, Ms. Nanase?" L rose to his full height. His back wasn't arched and he wasn't drooped. He stood tall over her, casting her in his suddenly huge shadow. "You're not just another employee? You forget that I am your boss. I am in charge of the Kira Case and anyone who resides in it."

       "So you're in charge of me now? I'm not Matsui, Ryuzaki! I'm not just gonna roll over because you told me to. Did seeing how Misa acts around Raito change something? Did you think that because we're dating I should fawn over you and worship the very ground you walk on?" She was hurt beyond words, and she was saying hurtful things, but she couldn't stop them. They flowed out of her like a never-ending waterfall.

        "If you really think I'd expect that from you, you're not as smart as I gave you credit for." He stepped forward, forcing Ori to step back. What was going on? Why was all of this happening?

       "Why haven't you told me you loved me yet?" His question was like a smack in the face. Ori was left breathless and gaping like a fish gasping for air. 

       "What?" 

       "I've told you I loved you. I told you I loved everything about you, and not once have you said it back. I've been patient. I know you're going through a hard time, and I know the Kira Case isn't easy for you, but I think I deserve an explanation." Ori didn't know what to say. Her heart was breaking and no words would come from her mouth. She couldn't think; her mind was racing too fast to form a coherent sentence.

       "I-" was all that came out.

       "Do you even love me? Or was all of this some sick game to you? You looked up to me, right? Was all of this some goal of yours? To get 'the great L' to fall in love with you? Or were you so broken over Vivian and desperate for someone that you just latched onto the first person available like a leech?" Tears were streaming down Ori's face. Her heart was completely shattered. How could- what made-

       "Who are you, L?" She asked. Her brows furrowed back and she tilted her head. Her question seemed to throw him off. "Are you a fucking robot or something? Are you even human? I don't understand-" her voice cracked. "I just wanted you to trust me enough to tell me when you were planning to tie up a nineteen-year-old girl and hold her for questioning. I'm not stupid. I know that not everything about this case can be sunshine and rainbows, but I thought that you'd at least respect me enough to keep me in the loop." Her hands were shaking. She curled them into fists, hoping against hope that the real L would come bursting through the doors, tell her the person in front of her was an imposter, and sweep her off her feet like some fairy tale prince.

       "I wanted to be someone you could rely on." Sobs peaked through her words as if opening a curtain. "I'm not a leech. I didn't just... latch onto you to make myself feel better, and I was never planning on seducing you. I had to listen to Misa fucking Amane to understand and accept how I felt about you. I was ready to just bury it down and wait until the case was over to just run away and never see you again because I'm a coward! Love is scary to me, L! I can't just... say it. The last person I loved fucking killed herself and put me in the hospital. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, and you-"

       You took the nightmares away. You made living bearable again. You made the sky bluer and the flowers smell sweeter. As cheesy as it is, I need you.

       "I what, Ms. Nanase?" It was like talking to a stone wall. He was completely unphased and as cold as ever. Ori's heart had been crumbled to dust.

       You mean everything to me. 

       "You've completely wasted my time. Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore. I'm finishing this case, then I don't want to hear from you ever again. You're three minutes are up." Her voice was a deadly whisper, fragile, and yet so poisonous. Ori walked away from him, feeling a new kind of empty. It started in her stomach and spread throughout her entire body. From her fingers and toes, all the way up to her chest felt hollow and numb. But she was still crying. Why was she crying?

       'If you love him, you love him.' 

       But do I love him?

       'Why haven't you told me you loved me yet?'

       I don't know what I want.

       'I've told you I loved you.'

       What do you want from me?

       'Do you even love me?'

       I thought I did, but maybe I was diluting myself. Maybe I was in so much pain I reached out for you. Maybe you were a raft in a storming sea, the only one for miles, and you were so easy to reach. Maybe you were a single light in a dark tunnel, and you were so soft and gentle, so loud in your love while you spoke quietly that you were so easy to hold onto.

       Maybe I am a leech.

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       Damn, it do be like that sometimes. 
       Until next time...Doragon-Chan is out.
       "He does something to me, that boy. Every time. It's his only detriment. He steps on my heart. He makes me cry."
       -Markus Zusak