Steel

Chapter 39

I stood at the border for hours, straining against my soul to pull the clouds open slightly, but my fear was preventing it from working. I was so terrified of what I would see on the other side. Would Lucifer be standing there, waiting for me? Would all of New York City be destroyed?

Still, the longer we waited, the more time Hell had to lay siege to the rest of the world. For all we knew, thousands upon thousands of mortal lives were being lost. Still, I'd had no other choice. In order to give us a fighting chance, I'd had to throw up the wall. We had to regroup and heal our wounded if we were going to save anyone.

I grumbled in frustration, throwing my hands up in the air and pacing back and forth. This was impossible. I was created for this very moment and now I couldn't seem to control my own soul.

"You have to relax. Worrying isn't going to change what you see on the other side," I heard Grey huff from behind me. He was laying on the hillside looking up at the sky. His muscled arms were flexed behind his neck, holding up his head. For someone about to face off with the OG death, he didn't seem very concerned. Still, I could feel the little seeds of doubt swirling within him, even if he didn't show it. I could feel his concern.

"We basically held a giant middle finger up to the rest of the world and hid in a corner, Grey," I hissed, focusing once again on the clouded wall. It danced in front of me, taunting.

"You know we had to. You're just frustrated that this wasn't as easy as you thought it would be," Grey chuckled dryly, heaving out a sigh. "You stressing about what's on the other side is making it hard. You know that."

This whole bond thing was- it irritated me that he could feel everything I was feeling. Despite whatever I tried to put off, he immediately could see beneath it. It's like he had shattered every wall I had built in a matter of minutes. I felt exposed, even if it was to my soulmate.

"Shouldn't you be more worried about how you're going to kill Miss Death Almighty?" I snapped. Grey's cerulean eyes flicked to mine, narrowing a little.

"You know I can tell you're just trying to irritate me enough to get me to leave you alone, right?" A slow smirk grew across his lips, clearly unfazed by my attitude.

I huffed angrily and walked over to him, sitting beside him on the cool grass. It crunched beneath me as I sat, apparently frozen with permafrost. It felt nice. The heat of my fury seemed enough to keep me warm.

"Are you more concerned about what you'll see on the other side or what will happen when you find Lucifer?" Grey questioned gently, rolling over to his side and looking up at me.

"Both. Probably more the latter. I feel like a coward," I grumbled through gritted teeth.

"Being afraid doesn't make you a coward, Greene. You're very right to be afraid. It's what you do about it that determines whether or not you're a coward," Grey replied coolly.

"I'm procrastinating because I feel like we're heading straight into a massacre," I confessed, turning to meet his gaze. He sucked in a breath, pressing his lips together in thought as he sat up. Gingerly, he reached up and ran a thumb across my cheek, resting his palm on the angle of my jaw.

"We are heading into a massacre. Your fear is not going to change that," he murmured softly, eyes full of sorrow.

"I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose the future we might've had," I breathed out. Somehow, Grey managed to offer me a small smile.

"You will never lose me. Even if we both die, I'll forever be yours," he replied softly, slowly leaning in and pressing his lips gently against mine. "If we get a future, I will be the happiest man alive for the rest of time. If we don't, know that you've made me the happiest man alive since meeting you. Know that I will have died a very happy man, and that there's nothing you could ever do to make me any happier than I am."