Chapter 11~Numb Without...

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Nina
~

   I cried the moment Mckayla ran out on all of us. On me. I sat in the corner of the room we shared together cradling myself as I slid my knees up to my chest. I felt numb and lonely not having Mckayla here with me. I couldn't keep sleeping nights alone without her. It was becoming too hard for me.

   I wasn't mad at her. I was confused and startled at first but when Mckayla snapped attacking me I looked into her eyes and couldn't find Mckayla inside herself. She looked baffled when I told her she was the one who hurt me. Her face had terror in herself. I loved Mckayla and just needed her here with me.

   The pack had left me alone for the most part but now for he fourth time knocking at the door began to really irritate me. "What? Just please...leave me alone."

   I heard sniffling emanate through the barrier door that I had closed and locked. I recognized that cry instantly, rushing up toward it. I unlocked the door seeing a young twelve year version of Mckayla eyes puffy just like mines.

   Immediately I pulled Kaylee into my arms feeling stupid and regretful in not considering Kaylee's feelings. She was lost and scared too, fearful of where Mckayla could be. I pulled her further in, closing the door back.

   "I'm sorry sweetie." I bent low kissing her forehead. "Let's get in bed."

   It was after ten and as much as I wanted to go find Mckayla or wait to see her come back I couldn't tonight. Kaylee needed me tonight.

   Kaylee followed and I pulled the covers out as we crawled underneath. I moved on my back as Kaylee curled into me. She lifted her head to me staring up at me, with Mckayla's eyes. "Will she ever come back?"

   I didn't have to think about it. "Yes. She loves us. All of us." Mckayla may not have planned to ever come back to the pack, but the loss of her father, ultimately made that happen. Being back and finding out out Kaylee was shock to everyone. But Mckayla was still here. That meant something. She wouldn't leave us all now. She had her chance.

   "Was she always like this?" Kaylee finally stopped crying but her voice sounded drained from crying. "Every time I think she's happy with us...she changes. Its like she doesn't want us deep down."

   I shook my head. "No sweetie. She loves us and wants to be with us." I paused trying to find a way to explain. I let out a sigh. "You remember when you first realized Mckayla was your mother?" Kaylee didn't say anything but I felt her head nod. "How did you feel?"

   She fell quiet a few seconds and then spoke softly. "Umm...I was scared. I never knew I had a mom."

   "Exactly. She never knew you existed and before that...your mommy was put through so much pain because of our pack. Your grandfather."

   "Like daddy was?"

   I hated that General was Kaylee's father but that was the only thing he did right. "Yes." I rubbed my hand over her back. "Your daddy loved you in his own way, but not the way you needed."

   "So...mom is a afraid to be my mom, your mate, and Alpha."

   "No...its more to that." I didn't want to lose focus of what I was trying to explain. "Your mom has no excuse to ever not be there for you. She loves you and will be your mother."

   "You too," Kaylee said surely.

   "Me too." I smiled at her trying to make sure I knew I was now her mother too. "Your mom has been on her own so long, she has to learn to be close to others again and she's afraid that she is not going to be good enough for you, me...all of us."

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