𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 [18+]

89: Words that were Never Conveyed

"Just as heart is a fountain of unspoken words,

the universe is a womb of wonder weird worlds."

― Toba Beta

Marienne's POV:

My heart thrummed loudly in my ribcage as I called in the nurse. There was not an ounce of doubt that Lunaire found something very crucial in that diary. It was Lindy's no doubt- but what could be her findings that sent her over the edge and caused her to freak out?

I was yet to read her suicide note, I couldn't muster up the courage to. It hurt me more than the darkness residing within me.

Just thinking back at all those times when she encouraged me to stand up for myself, all those memories I made with her as a kid- her soothing words when I was left alone, when I felt down or broken- when I had an episode.....

I remember her pressing the gun to her temple clearly. Rose couldn't see her, but she was just across me.

Before I closed my eyes, I saw her cold smile- the smile that lit her face up- as if she was salvaging herself, as if she couldn't wait for death.

A drop of tear, as lucid as the rain drop of monsoon, a drop of tear that hid her pain and cocooned it safely- slowly escaped her, soaking her contented smile.

I couldn't believe any of the deaths. Neither my child's or Lindy's, maybe that was why I was so deadened, so shocked, so frozen.

And when it finally dawned upon me, the bitter realization of neither of them being here.

Since then, every moment passed like an aeonian.

Ardent being my brother, me realizing that Ardent was my older brother whom I have killed with my own hands, Lindy revealing that my mother was the other woman, Rose's kidnapping, me getting shot , losing our child that was like a vulnerary for us and then Lindy committing suicide.

It was too much too take in.

It was going to leave me traumatized for the rest of my life.

Just when I thought I had grown out of the torture my parents put me through.....

Of course life wasn't going to give me a break, was it?

What hurt me the most was the death of my child, my son that was like a miracle for me. When I got to know that Roseline was pregnant- the joy I felt couldn't be described.

I finally had a hope- it felt like I was having back my child for the second time. I finally felt like I could have a true family with whom I could share my joys and sorrows with, with whom I could laugh and cry with. I thought I could finally be happy.

When Madeline's postmortem report showed that she was a month pregnant- it was like a sky falling over me. It didn't even matter when I came to know that the child was actually Ardent's- I always thought of that child as mine.

And now when I saw my own child dying in front of my own eyes and I couldn't do anything about it.....

It was all coming back to me.

These events were going to have an impact over me big time, but for now, I wished to be numb. I wished to continue my days like nothing ever happened-

Maybe one day, when I wake up, I would finally be able to believe that I have lost so many things just within a couple of days.

Betrayal is the worst. I wouldn't call what Lindy did a betrayal- she merely hid the truth from me- but I do want to ask her why on earth did she never let me meet my brother?