𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 [𝟏𝟖+] ✔

39

Days of texting back and forth turn into weeks of voice and video calls. Toby's far too busy with work to visit and I'm on probation for taking so much time off and missing appointments.

Oh, and who knew that phone sex is actually enjoyable? Toby talks me through exactly what he wants me to do, begs me to send him videos, pictures, and I do... probably far too many. It's been a long two months without him, and the more time I spend away from him, the more I want him, all of him.

I wish he could be more expressive with how he feels about me. It's a massive struggle to get him to open up fully, and every time I ask him about that ridiculous statement, the one he blurted during sex weeks ago, he denies even saying it.

I wish I could fall in love with you.

I'm not going to lie; it plays on repeat in my head each night.

Other than that, I've never felt better. Toby talked me into deleting all my social media accounts, removing myself from that toxic environment. He spoke to me about not going out so much to a point that I would now rather stay at home and do work or video call with him, usually belligerently drunk.

Seeing Jason has been a battle, only having him stay over a handful of times in the past eight weeks. I've completely blocked Ewan, telling Gabriella everything he did to me, which she then blocked him too. For me to see Jason, I go through his mum, the same woman who hates my guts. So, you can imagine how hard it is to even speak to him on the phone.

I want to sit down with Ewan, hash it out, fix this situation for Jason's sake. But when I suggested that to Toby, I got my head bitten off. He's dangerous, and no matter what history we have together, or how much I miss even just speaking with him, he's a threat to me.

"You've gone silent on me again, Doctor Miller," the specialist on the other end of the phone repeats himself for the third time, and I lift my head from my desk, hair a total mess.

"Oh, sorry! What was the outcome?"

I hear him huffing, papers crunching. "Ivy Dermot hasn't been selected, but I think you argued enough to change their minds, maybe give them a call and find out when the final listings are."

"Shit," I mumble, my eyes widen at my horrific language. I clamp my hand over my mouth, screwing my eyes shut. "Sorry. I'll call them now."

"Maybe get some sleep first, Doctor Miller. You've made a great statement."

We hang up, and my forehead meets the steel desk again, groaning at myself. "Fucking hell," I mutter, shaking my head. I struggle to sleep most nights, probably because I'm up until all hours talking with Toby. The time difference is a pain, and I've come close to asking him to just transfer here or vice-versa.

I've never been so off the ball with work, my caseload piling up. Umpteen emails are still unopened and calls not returned. I can hear my worst nightmare currently walking up the hallway, and I know she's about to blow through my office and lose her...

"What the fuck, Aria?" Gabriella shrieks. "Why didn't you go to the meeting?"

I frown at her, wiping the blonde hair out of my oily face. "What meeting?"

"You are unbelievable." She shuts my office door, dropping down on the chair opposite my desk. She's never looked at me the way she is now, disgusted. I prepare myself for an argument. "I think you need to take some time off work, maybe go see someone."

"I don't need to see someone."

"Aria! You are a riot. When do you ever miss any type of meeting for Ivy, or any of your patients for that matter? Did you even know that Lucy passed away yesterday?"