My famous brothers

40. The attic.

Jakes POV.
"Get up." I say as I enter Lucy's room.
"Why?" She mumbles and I roll my eyes.
"Your helping me with something." I say. I know I'm acting harsh but I actually have something nice planned. But at the same time I don't like what she's thinking about Luke. He's worked so hard, I can't risk anything not even if it's our little sister.
"Ugh." She moans and slides out of bed.

"Why are we in a dusty attic?" Lucy says. She's in a mood today and is not afraid to show it.
"Your cleaning it out." I say and I start walking towards some boxes.
"Why are you doing this to me! So I said something, now your punishing me?!" She complains.
"I'm not punishing you. Here just look through this. Believe it or not your brothers are heartless. I was gonna help you but now you can do it yourself since you think the worst of us." I dump the box in her hands and leave. 

Worked out rather well cause I had to be on set and was finally doing a scene with Luke.

Lucy's POV

I didn't want to be here. It was dusty and smelly and really cramped with all the boxes. But I did what Jake said and looked through the box since he'd probably quiz me about it later.

when I opened it there was a picture of the three of us. We were at the park. It was the day I learnt to ride my bike. Luke had picked me up the first few times and when I didn't want to ride they gave me a little pep talk. Luke had told me he'd run along side me so if I fell he could catch me and Jake said how if I reached where he was stood he's take me to our favourite ice cream shop and buy me whatever I wanted. Just looking at the photo had made me smile. I carefully placed it down and looked through the rest of the box. There was a bunch of stuff in here. Our first trophy when we won a go cart competition. Jake and Luke had stayed up all night because they'd known how much I wanted to win. A photo of the time Luke and Jake let me join in on their basketball game with their friends. They'd made sure everyone was gentle with me and that I didn't get hurt. I'd forgotten about that day. My camp sash with all my badges. Luke and Jake had made me my own badge when I was struggling to earn them the 'best little sister' badge. I'd been so happy to finally have one.

Then I find the photo of us the day before they left. Jake looks almost the same just with a different haircut and a tiny bit of stubble now but Luke looks so different. I hadn't realised how tired he looks now. He's gotten paler too. And thinner. They both have. I put all the stuff carefully back into the box and move it out of the way. I grab another box and look in. It's just some boring scripts. I find about 5 more boxes of them but behind it I see a canvas. It's painted but I can't see it clearly in the shadows. I carefully pull it out and carry it to the window. It has no colour just black, white and grey. And it's just a man stood all alone. I go to move it back when a note fall out from the back. When I pick it up I see his signature at the bottom of the canvas. This was done by Luke.

I read the letter done in Luke's careful handwriting.

I feel like I'm losing myself to this world. I feel trapped and alone. I can't think. I can't sleep. I can't eat. How can I when my baby sister thinks I've abandoned her. She must think the worst of me. Maybe she'd even be glad to see me like this. This is my punishment. I deserve this.

Every night before bed I hope that she wakes up happy and that the word is treating her well. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her but our mothers made it clear she doesn't want me to speak to her when I'm like this. I don't blame her.

I'm a mess. I miss holding my Lu and telling her the world will treat her right and how she has nothing to fear. I wish I'd never let her go. There's so many letters that I have written her and yet they stay stored in the attic at Jakes. I can't reach them there. Jake keeps most of the things there that's I've done else I'd dwell on them night and day. Never stopping the blame. Never forgetting what I've done. Little dose he know I have my journal and sketchbook hidden in my wardrobe.

Drawing the only thing that makes me feel close to her. I bet she doesn't even remember who taught her in the first place. Though maybe that's a good thing. She can have something she loves with feeling that it's been tainted by a monster like me.

I feel so alone in this world. In the place. In the mindset of mine. Maybe when I close my eyes it'll all be gone. And I'll be reunited with my Lu until morning when the world and its darkness creeps back in.

I'm crying by the time I've finished. I'd had no idea. I found the box of letters. And all of his drawings of our times together. Every apology. Every point of blame every dark thought was all in here. All of his journals all of his photos he'd scratched out or vandalised all of it. I laid it out and it covered the entire floor and there was still more. By the end I just sat their crying at the thought of my brother being so alone. No wonder what I'd said would of hurt him.

Luke's POV
when jake came in he looked stuck in his thoughts like he was planning something difficult. Id been sat on the couch with Stacy and some other cast mates in our hangout between scenes.
"One second love." I whisper to Stacy as I kiss her cheek and unwrap my arm from around her shoulders. I stands up and walk over to jake.

"Hello brother." I say and he looks up at me.
"Hey." He yawns.
"Tired?" I ask.
"Yeah. Couldn't sleep after well u know." He sighs.
"Seeing Astrid?" He winces at her name and I apologise.
"How's you and Stacy?" He asks looking behind me and I smile just at the mention of her name. Jake picks up on it and smiles. "I'm glad your happy brother." He says and I nod slightly.
"Thanks J. I just wish I could see you as happy." I say.
"Luke for once enjoy the good in your life without worrying about others. You've earned it."
"Thanks J." I say.
"Anyway how are you after yesterday?" He asks nervously.
"Better. I guess It all got a little overwhelming with all those people." I shrug and he raises an eyebrow.
"And after what Lucy said?" Now I'm lost. I furrow my eye brows.
"What? What did Lucy say-?" Suddenly Stacy appears and tells me one of the cast members wanted me so I went and joined in on the conversation and quickly forgot what Jake had said. 

Then my phone buzzes and I read the text that I don't think I was quite ready for.

Stacy's POV

"Luke didn't hear what she said it was me." I see the shock on his face.
"Oh." He says.
"How is Lucy?" I ask shyly.
"She's cleaning the attic." Jake says. I look at him confused and he starts explaining everything to me.

We go back and join the others on the couch but when I cuddle up to Luke something seems off. It's like he's thinking about something.
"Everything ok Babe?" I ask worried and he just looks at me and gives me a smile.
"Yeah, just thinking about the big scene today. Don't wanna screw it up." He says and I pull him closer.

Luke's POV

2:45am

I can't sleep. The scene went surprisingly well and everything was fine but I can't sleep. All cause of one stupid text.

I pick my phone up and read it over and over again.

Unknown

Guess who's back.
I'm coming Luke!!

Brilliant.