too

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31 | thirty one

One week later.

Stacey walked into school and noticed that everyone's eyes were on her.

When she got to her locker, no one was waiting there. The group of cheerleaders that designated themselves as her friends, stood a few feet away, glancing over and unsure whether they were meant to talk to her or not.

Stacey hadn't been at school for a week since Kim's death.

The news of it had spread throughout the whole school by that time though. Many people had deleted the video of Kim but it was the internet, and everyone knew that there would still be a copy floating around somewhere.

No one came up to Stacey but as she got her books, placing them in her arms limply and closing her locker door, she found that someone was stood beside her.

"What do you want Axel?" Stacey asked, fiddling with her lock.

"Are you okay?" he asked and Stacey sighed, her face thinly layered with makeup and her hair sat messily on her head. She looked at everyone surrounding them and they all quickly looked away.

"No," Stacey said. "No I'm not okay."

"Look, if you want someone to talk to..."

"I won't," she said curtly.

"But if you did, I'm here. I know I'm not your first option but we were close. Closer than you probably think."

Stacey looked at him for a moment. "You were close to the Stacey you met junior year."

"You're still that girl," Axel said quietly and Stacey shook her head, eyes going red from the urge to cry but the restraint not to.

"No I'm not," Stacey said. "I'm really not."

Stacey licked her dry lips, feeling the weight of lack of sleep dragging her down.

She had no idea what kind of girl she was anymore.

***

Stacey walked past Kim's locker and saw the pictures and decorations stuck to the door in memory of her best friend.

"Nice isn't it?" Scarlett asked from behind Stacey and she shook her head.

"Not really," she said. "It just solidifies the fact that people only really care about you when you're dead."

Scarlett walked up towards Stacey, stopping beside her in front of Kim's locker. "I'm sorry."

Stacey glanced over at Scarlett. "For what?"

"I shouldn't have dumped food on your head," Scarlett said. "Or embarrassed you like that."

"I probably would have done the same thing," Stacey said. "I guess I'm sorry for making out with your boyfriend."

"It's okay," Scarlett cracked a smile that slowly fell. "And...And how are you, really?"

"I'm fine," Stacey said.

Scarlett caught her eye and gave her a knowing look and a small nod. "Okay."

***

Stacey stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, running the concealer stick under her eyes. She looked tired.

"You're back."

Stacey looked through the mirror and saw Scottie leaning against the wall behind her. She didn't turn around and continued to look at him through the reflection. Stacey gave him a small nod, putting away her concealer.

"You okay?" he asked and Stacey felt like scoffing but then stopped herself with a frown.

"Everyone's been asking me that all day," she said, "and yours seems to be the only genuine one."

Scottie took a step forward but then stopped himself from going any further. "I'll take that as a no."

"I feel like a charity," Stacey said. "Like no one really wants to help me but they feel obliged to."

"Some people do want to help."

"Not many," Stacey said. "Teenagers are a bunch of assholes most the time. People say these years are our best, that when you're a teenager you're showing the world the future. Well I'm not seeing a very bright future right now."

"It doesn't have to be this bad," Scottie whispered and Stacey turned around, her eyes red with dark bags under her eyes, poking out from the badly smeared concealer.

"It already is this bad."

Scottie let out a slow breath, watching the girl in front of him crumble. But this breakdown was different from his sister's. She had been so full of emotion and so fearful...just like Kim.

But Stacey was emotionless - blank. He felt like he was talking to an empty vessel when she spoke and felt that ever so slowly she was slipping from his grasp.

"Can you come with me?" Stacey asked suddenly and Scottie frowned. "Her funeral. Could you come with me, please?"

Scottie gave her a small nod. "Of course."

The bell rang and Scottie gave her one last look before turning around and headed for the door.

"And Scottie?" Stacey called out, making the boy glance back.

"Thank you," she said and he gave her a small smile before turning and walking out of the girl's bathroom.

"Thank you," she said and he gave her a small smile before turning and walking out of the girl's bathroom

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