Apologies

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Faye:

After our latest rehearsal, we decided to go out to a bar and have a lovely evening. In all honesty, we deserve that because our days have been packed with heading to the recording studio, then heading to the dance studio to practise for our performance and in between we're constantly followed by cameras. 

Don't get me wrong, it's okay. We're celebrities and this is for the reunion show so I understand the purpose of it. Although it's annoying that they have to follow us to the bar as well. At least they allow us some space whilst we order our drinks and are enclosed in a conversation. 

"I'm ridiculously excited for our performance." Claire admits while the waiter places down our orders. I decided on a new cocktail, the habit of trying out something new clearly coming through. In the early band days, Lisa and me always tried out the stuff we didn't knew yet whenever we visited a new bar. I miss that. Not the drinking but being more carefree. Carefree like in the early band days.

I decide that this evening is going to be carefree just like it used to be.

"You don't need to be excited or at least not worried." I then say. "Yes it is nerve-wracking but if someone wants to mock us, they're mocking us as a group. Remember? We always stick together, no matter what."

Well we haven't stick together when we splitted but I try to remind myself that I planned to be carefree today. Not to care about whether this reunion turns out well or whether Travis is out of prison and walking around freely somewhere. 

Claire answers with a simple smile, taking out her phone and asking us if she might could do a picture of us all together for her album where she keeps some Steps pictures. I remember that album, we all used to have one where we stuck pictures of our tours or filming projects into it as well as backstage photos of us being silly together. After the split I stuck it into a box where I also keep my old Steps outfits, tickets and all these things. The box is in my wardrobe and placed under loads of other boxes. 

We all smile into the camera, giggling slightly while Claire puts away her phone. I excuse myself and order a new drink, sighing while sipping on it. I hate myself for getting drunk but it happens before I know it. Similar to back then at the Brit Awards, I'm one of these persons who get ridiculously honest and funny when being drunk. 

And no I'm not proud of it. All I tried was wanting to be carefree and I got drunk before realising my actions; much to the dismiss of the band..

"Faye, we might should go back to the hotel. We've got rehearsals ahead and you might want to sleep before that." Lee says with a smile as I once again giggle almost hysterically about a joke H told us.

"You boring guy, why can't we have some fun?" I hiccup. "We could dance or... or let's do karaoke!" I announce happily. Sadly this bar hasn't got a karaoke area which upsets me but makes the others relieved. "Oi guys, we're singers so there's no need to be shy for doing karaoke!" 

"We should really go home. Lee would you be so kind and pay our bills?" Lisa asks, passing him some money. "You know I actually thought we might have a relaxed evening where no-one gets drunk."

"Shut up." I growl at her. "You and me always got drunk back then."

"Yes but it might wasn't our best idea! We usually felt horrendous the day afterwards and got shouted at in the studio." Lisa snaps back. "Seriously Faye, why did you get drunk? I know partying is fun but getting drunk isn't."

"You're boring." I hiccup while stumbling out of the bar. "Oi look, there are some journalists."

"Well brilliant." Claire sighs. "I bet that'll create articles, I can already see it. As if we haven't got enough nasty articles about us already."

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