The Art of Yearning

The Phone Call

Study sessions, check.

Work and assisting Jasmine. Check.

Charlie, absolutely nothing.

You looked at your phone again, the message delivered. Charlie hadn't responded to your text, and he has been gone for a week. He was all you could think about, especially that night.  His moans were constant in your mind, and so was his body.

You wondered if he did this a lot?  There was the waitress, were you like her too? Were there others?  I mean, who wouldn't want attention from a handsome, artistic man who wanted to cuddle after sex. You for sure did.

Sitting down on your couch, you stared at your ceiling, hearing the phone ring, you looked at the name, rolling your eyes.

"The next time you call me, I am going to block you, Parker. This is what the tenth time today?" You pinched the bridge of your nose.

"I have been trying to reach you. We need to talk." He spoke, which made you want to throw your phone.

"Yeah, I know, I've been ignoring you." You tilted your head, shaking your hand. Taking a large gulp of your wine, you put your legs up on the couch. 

"Hello? Are you there?"

"I am waiting, talk." Whatever he was going to say, you prepared yourself.

"I am sorry, I feel like shit for what I did to you."

"So the first time you didn't feel like shit, but the second time you did?"

"Of course I do. The second time just happened."

"How does one's dick miraculously end up in someone else's vagina?"

"I see you are still sarcastic, I still love that about you."

You chuckled, "Okay is this conversation going anywhere?"

"I can't sleep at night knowing that I lost you with my stupid mistake-"

"Mistakes," You corrected him, feeling a heavy feeling in your throat. You didn't want to start crying, especially for him.

"My stupid mistakes, I have to live with this forever. I understand if you don't want to forgive me, but I want you to know I am sorry and love you. I always will. I am proud of you for moving to California and pursuing what you want to do."

"An opportunity arose, so I took it." Silence rose on his side, "Are you seeing her?" 

"I am not seeing anyone."

You didn't believe that. "Parker, why?. I blamed myself, you know, I was always busy studying, and I tried my best to be there for you."

"I failed you, I know." 

"Were you even happy?" You questioned.

"I don't know," a pause, "but we can fix this, I know we can."

Parker always found more ways to break your heart, "No, we can't. We talked, and I listened. I have to go."

Bringing the phone away from your face, you hung up, closing your eyes, quiet sobs leaving you. You couldn't cry like this for him, you didn't hurt him, he hurt you. This was the first time you were alone and sad. Parker was usually there.

Time had passed as you laid on the couch, looking at the wall. You grabbed it, calling the person you thought of first.

"Hey, are you free? Can you pick me up?"