Part 7 - Death - a painful process to witness

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by DrKcWong

by DrKcWong

Background: 1974 - 1979 (Age 7 - 12 years)

After a few months, I recovered from the laceration on my left eyebrow. But the scar remains as a witness to the greatness of love.

In 1979, I studied primary year six which was my final year studying in the primary school on the hill.

One day, when I reached home, I saw Ah Ba lying on a bed. He usually came home in the evening and had dinner with us. On that day, he was sick and unable to work. Ah Ma knew that he had no appetite for rice but would like to eat noodle. She cooked his favourite Hokkien noodle. I ate with Ah Ba before my other siblings arrived home. It was the final time that Ah Ba could sit up to have dinner with me at our dining table. Sitting face to face at the table, I noticed how haggard and emaciated he was. His eyes and cheeks were sunken. Using a chopstick, Ah Ba ate some of the noodles but he could not finish it because of his stomach-ache. I wished that I could share some of his pain. He had seen a family doctor in the town and would go to see a specialist in a city soon.

"Ah Ba, do you want to drink some water?" I asked gently.

"Yes, bring me my medications too," Ah Ba replied in a hushed voice.

Ah Ba took his medications which came in various colors. I helped him to return to his room. He shambled.

The following days, he was bedridden. He was too weak to get up; he ate porridge and bread while lying on the bed. Ah Ma and my siblings looked after him exceptionally well. The atmosphere at home filled with sorrow. We had no insurance policy for protecting the family financially because we could not afford it. We hardly survived with a meagre income mostly from selling "kuih" (biscuits/ pastries).

After many days, Ah Ba was still bedridden.

"I am taking your father to see a specialist in a city this morning, you guys look after each other," Ah Ma said with a heartfelt sadness in her voice.

Ah Ma was very worried because Ah Ba noticed blood in his stools.

At dusk, Ah Ba and Ah Ma came home with distress and despair written on their faces.

Ah Ma sobbed and said: "The specialist has said that your Ah Ba's condition is very serious and he may not live too long."

This bad news struck us as a thunderbolt. We felt devastated and helpless. We became distraught.

Ah Ba lost his appetite; his muscles were wasted and he became bony. He required assistance to mobilise. We sensed that his death might be imminent. A neighbor alerted Ah Ma that when a patient was dying, urinary and fecal incontinence might occur. When the conditions occurred, Ah Ma looked after Ah Ba's hygiene, and she washed his soiled clothing without a word of complaint.

*****

A notable quote:

B. R. Hayden: "Love and death are the two great hinges on which all human sympathies turn."

Reference: brainyquote website