Everything Inbetween Bones [BxB] ✓

Chapter 41

A/N: Alright, I was not kidding when I said this chapter is going to be a fucking rollercoaster, brace yourselves. Also, I recently got into Billie Marten's music more so here you go, I hope you like it, it's called Live. I'm sorry I've been so few and far between with chapter releases, I've jus been a bit stressed with school and work and shit so that's fun. Anyways, I hope everyone's having a good week and enjoy this chapter.

"Can we talk?" It had been three days since they'd had dinner at the restaurant. Logan knew it had been coming, but he still felt that familiar panic etch at him. They were hanging out at Logan's house, really just laying curled up on his bed. The red-headed boy looked away from his boyfriend, shrugging.

"About what?" He asked as if he didn't know. He was backed into a corner and still avoiding the subject as much as he could. He didn't want things to change, he didn't want Oliver to know about any of it. He shouldn't have gotten so close to him, it was stupid of him to love Oliver like he did, it was dangerous.

"You know what." Oliver said softly and Logan was already pulling at his sleeves, he thought he almost couldn't feel his hands, he didn't feel like he was there anymore, maybe he wasn't, maybe this was all a dream and he'd wake up soon. He brought his finger up to his mouth, biting the skin on his knuckle hard, glancing over to his lamp. He wanted a cigarette, he needed his razor but he couldn't, not with Oliver there.

"Hey." Oliver's voice was gentle, taking Logan's hand away from his mouth, his knuckle bearing the white indent where his teeth had been. "Come here, it's alright." Oliver pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around the boy and Logan buried his face in Oliver's chest. Oliver was always saying he'd protect Logan, but how was he supposed to protect him from himself?

"I-I can't talk about it." Logan said softly after several minutes. "Every time I try I just can't, i-it doesn't come out." He said and he could feel Oliver running his fingers through his hair, Logan couldn't explain why it comforted him so much, but it was such a nice feeling.

"When did it start?" Oliver asked, twirling Logan's curls around his fingers.

"I don't know, a couple years ago? Maybe the summer of freshman year, it didn't get bad until last year." Logan said. He felt small, and for once, he didn't want to. He didn't want to be fragile or tiny, he wanted to be bigger than his fears so he wouldn't be scared of them. It was the first time he really realized he was terrified of telling the truth, of confronting life as it was, he wanted to stay in his own perfect world where he could keep everyone happy and hurt himself without having to worry anyone else about it. He thought maybe he really would have killed himself by now if he didn't know it'd crush his family and friends.

"So what is this, like a..like an eating disorder?" Oliver asked and Logan shrugged numbly, pulling at one of the threads in his sweater sleeve. He wasn't sure anymore, maybe he had an eating disorder, maybe he was faking it for attention, maybe it was just a distraction, he didn't know.

"I don't know how to stop." He whispered brokenly, his eyes filling with tears. Shut up, youuselesspieceofshit, you think he wants to hear your problems? Really? stupididiotbitchslut.

"I'm guessing your dads don't know about this either?" Oliver asked and Logan shook his head a bit. Oliver sighed softly.

"Please don't tell them, I..I'll get better, I'll figure it out, I just need some time."

"Bear, this has been going on for years, how long have you been telling yourself that?" Oliver asked and Logan didn't answer. "This is dangerous, am I supposed to just watch you slowly kill yourself? I can't do that again, I can't sit by and let this happen. It's not your fault, but you need help." Oliver said and Logan sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve.