Wet the bed

Between love

I seriously can't believe Ryan just kissed me after I told him everything he must feel the same like he kissed me with Lamar watching and Nicki like Nicki was in shame like what has she done like she thought she could have Ryan like naw shawty stay with Lamar he gone cheat on you or maybe even leave you like he left me so many years ago but I don't care now all I care about now is where this going to go with me and Ryan like what's going to happen between all of us.

"What the fuck was that?" Lamar asked
"I kissed her you got a problem?" He asked
"Leave her the fuck alone" Lamar said
"Boy you fucking left me years ago and didn't even look back or try and search for me I thought you said you would never leave me and that you were my best friend and you loved me well guess what my so called best friend didn't love me and he didn't even fucking care when I needed someone to run off to when my step dad hurt me who wasn't there? When I need someone to cry to who did I have that I thought I would always have? Look Lamar you lost you chance and it will never work to be with my sister she's a hoe anyway she slept with her father then kept doing it wants she found out but you anit gotta worry bout me I'll be with your brother he will keep me safe from whoever is after me" I said at this point crying and angry

I had ran upstairs to the bathroom and momma Candice ran after me with Ryan following behind her and she demanded me to open the door she said it nicely but I know when she was trying to be concern and helping but she wanted me to talk to her. I opened the door and slid down the wall and just cried she rubbed my back a few times then started going off on me.

"What the fuck was that? You can't just run away from your problems you need to face them anytime you get sick and tired you just give up baby you have to do more than just give up or run away from problems some times you need to face the pain, fear or whatever and that's what your going to do your going to take your ass down them stairs and your going to face your problems with Lamar if you cry you cry but your going to listen to him and he will listen to you!! Understood?" She said
"Yes ma'am" I said walking down the stairs

I walked down the stairs and walked into the living room with Nicki siting on his lap and he pushed her off but he didn't do that because of me he prolly did it because now he knows who she is and that she is defiantly a hoe. I walked up to him and asked him did he have anything to say to me about what I said and then he started going off and he finally really started going off seriously this time.

"What you mean I ran away I didn't fucking run away I had to get away from that bad ass place I didn't mean to leave you but I hated seeing your father hit you and bruises be on your body I just couldn't stand to see that I had to go because if I would of stayed I would have killed him" he said
"Make up any fucking lie you left me because of that one bitch what's her name uh Kendra. Yeah you didn't think I would find out you left me for her k told you she was no good I told you she would just use and abuse you but no you wouldn't fucking listen now where is she now Lamar where is she? I stayed up for weeks and months hoping you would come knock on my window telling me to come on but you never did and he just came in and did it over and over but who is here now? Me right me! But she anit here and I anit here for you either." I said

Lamar and I really couldn't talk because I pissed him off and he walked out the house and the little trick followed him and all you heard was him yelling telling her to leave him alone and take her dumb ass in the house and seconds later guess what? She brought her dumb ass in the house and sat on the couch. Ryan grabbed my waist and hugged me from the back kissing softly on my neck which felt good then I ran to the downstairs bathroom and puked. Oh boy I know momma bout to start asking me questions out the ass. Which I was right she told me to stay in the bathroom then she brought me a box of test with three in there and told me too take all off them. I closed the door and peed on all of the sticks and waited for ten minutes when I seen the test it popped up positive which was crazy the first one was negative then the other two was positive which was beyond crazy because I can't have a baby I'm scared I might lose this one and it hurts to not be able to carry a child it doesn't just make things horrible but it also hurts your heart as a mother believing you can never carry a child. Momma opens the door and walks to the sink and smiles I look at her and give her a weak smile like I have no contact with August and I'm having his baby like you can't be serious I'm having a baby which I don't believe I'm having a baby the doctors told me I can't and now I'm holding a child. I get on my knees and start praying to God.

Prayer:

Dear God,

This is India and I'm scared like I thought you told me I wouldn't be able to have a child but I have one in me now. I will do anything for you but can you do something for me? Please Jesus, God, Mary is there someone listening to me please let me go all the way with this child I really want this one I really need this please let me carry the baby for my whole 9 months.

Amen.

I prayed to someone listening to me because I want this child I really want to be the one to carry a baby all the way through like I will give my baby everything he/ she desires because I never really had anything but getting raped I mean my momma gave everything I wanted but she waited until I was like 17 to finally start giving me shit I swear I anit never gone wait that long to start giving my child the world in her hands but I anit gone give her so much where she walking round here acting like a spoiled ass brat. Ryan walks in and see test on the counter and just looks at me and asks me why anit I smiling and happy then I explain to what is happening and he just hugged me telling me he will not leave and he will be here for me I just give him a weak smile and I go for my phone it's already turned on and I get on Instagram and I send August a dm giving him my new number telling him to call me. I was surprised when I seen that August had seen it moments later and texted me back telling me okay he'll call me now my phone ringed minutes later and I answered it. I swear it felt hella good to hear his voice again I really missed it.

📱phone convo📱

August: hey?
Me: hey baby um I'm having a baby
August: your pregnant?
Me: yeah remember when we had sex?
August: yeah did that work am I having a baby?
Me: yeah you are!
August: can I please come see you?
Me: babe there is these people after me, my mom, and sister because my step dad owes someone money so I'm down here with my other mother and I will be here for a min.
August: can I come visit you?
Me: I'll have to ask
August: do that and I'll call you in a few days
Me: okay I love you
August: I love you too

After I got off the phone with August Ryan walked in and asked who that was and I told him the truth that it was the dude I left behind that I love but I can't be with him anymore because I can never go back to Atlanta. Ryan just looks at me and doesn't do anything then he begins speaking and tells me that he still loves me and just because I'm having his baby doesn't mean that he can't be with me. Ryan wants me to leave August so that I'm not with him and I can be with him. Yeah I wanna be with Ryan but then again I want to be with the love of my life I swear love is a bitch why can't you love two people at once and be with two people at once without it being cheating?