Everything & More (Book 1 in the E.C.N Series)

Chapter 17-Martha

"I need to run a case file up to Pediatrics." I said gathering some papers.

Lori's eyes widened and so did her smile, "Is it Dr. Reyes?"

Ignoring her I made my way into the elevator as it opened. "Come on, is that who you're going to see?" she whined. Right before the door closed she yelled, "Tell me!" I shook my head at the attention my best friend was attracting to herself.

The elevator let me off in the Pediatrics wing. As I made my way over to the counter I saw Mason talking to a family outside the room of what I was assuming to be their child. Not wanting to interrupt, I stood at the end of the counter where the Pediatric nurses were chatting away. Usually depending on what wing you worked in determined the color of your scrubs. For the Pediatric wing the nurses had something that children would like to look at, maybe an array of bears, lollipops, something colorful. Post ops was just a sky blue so I stuck out like a sore thumb here. As I stood awkwardly to the side, I couldn't help but listen to the conversation these women were having.

"Oh my God... he is drop dead gorgeous."

"Yea even when he's being all serious...."

When I looked toward them, I saw their attention was on Mason. The need to roll my eyes and bite my lip from smirking was growing each second I had to stand there.

Always such a ladies man.

"Martha, hey." Mason said. The nurses' attention was then directed at me. They started whispering and glaring as he passed them without a second thought.

"Hey." I smiled up at him, "I guess being head of pediatrics has its perks." I spoke softly as I glanced to the side where his groupies were standing.

For a second he looked back at the nurses behind the counter and they quickly looked away. Turning his attention back to me he smiled and shrugged, "Not really my type." Though I didn't miss the faint shade of pink on his cheeks as he moved on from the topic.  "Is that the case file I asked for?"

"Yes it is, Dr. Reyes." I said handing it over to him.

"Martha, for the last time you can call me Mason here." More whispering coming from the other nurse staff gained my attention as to why we couldn't be too informal as work.

I lowered my voice, moving closer, "Unless you want thing one and thing two over there to start spreading rumors about us, I suggest we address each other formally within the halls of this hospital."

He nodded in understanding. "How are you?"

I shrugged, not really sure how honest I should be, "I'm alright and you?"

"I'm good, want to head down and grab that cup of coffee." He gestured to the exit.

"Now?"

Mason chuckled at my surprise, "It's Monday, isn't it? I have to go over this case file anyway and we can talk like you wanted."

"Um, yea thank you." Now that it was actually happening, I was nervous. I had only spoken in detail to Lori and Ryan about my problems. Even with that they couldn't understand, I was hoping some insight from Mason would actually help.

~~~~~~

We were currently sitting at a two person seating table by the window that looked over the parking lot of the hospital with fresh cups of coffee in hand. "Yea, we were college sweethearts, this year would've been our 14th anniversary of being together. 6 years of being married. I asked her to marry me once I got out of medical school." Mason spoke in a reminiscent tone, the far away look in his eyes told me that the topic was still a bit fresh. A part of me was regretting asking him about his past. It seemed like he had just come back from whatever hell he went through. I didn't want to make him relive it. Mason must have sensed how I was feeling because he continued, putting my thoughts at ease, "It's okay, the divorce was a little over a year ago and it took a little bit but I'm doing okay."

I smiled at him while taking another sip of coffee. There were so many questions I had but I didn't know where to start. The fact that I was going to someone who was divorced was making the situation too real. Like I was admitting that I wanted a divorce from Jonathan, when at the end of the day I didn't know what I wanted.

"Hey," he said, pulling my attention away from my anxiety, "You can talk to me."

"He had an affair... and now he wants to go to a marriage counselor as if that's going to solve anything," I scoffed at how ridiculous the thought sounded. "It's just, I don't want to forgive him." He nodded urging me to continue, "but I know if I don't, I'll never find peace."

"Don't you think making sure you find some peace after everything he put you through might be worth it."

"Maybe," I watched the heat leave my coffee cup and evaporate into the air, "but what does forgiving him mean."

"It means whatever you want it to mean." I was still staring down at my coffee with a crease in my forehead as I digested his words. "What are you worried about?"

Everything

That's what I wanted to tell him because I was. I was worried about everything but I knew the main thing I was afraid of. "I'm afraid I'll take him back."

"Do you want to?" He inquired.

I shrugged, finally looking him in his eyes, "I don't know what I want."

"Sure you do, you're just too afraid to admit it to yourself."

I let out a huff sitting back in my seat, "Do you think therapy will help, with whatever decision I'm trying to make?"

"I wouldn't know, my wife and I never went. By the time we thought about it, we both realized that it was too late. We were too broken."

Broken... It was a word that came to mind a lot lately. Something that weighed down on me all too often. I felt broken and it reminded me of how my mother described it, "Martha, the last thing I want is for you to tear your family apart." The familiar burn behind my eyes appeared as did the tingling sensation in my nose. "I don't want Paige to come from a broken home."

Mason reached out across the table and put his hand over mine, "Just because you and Jonathan aren't together doesn't mean your home is broken."

"My mother says I'm tearing my family apart. I have the voicemails to prove it." I said, shaking my head, I didn't want him to make me feel better about it. For some reason I wanted to feel this way.

He gave a tight squeeze over my hand and spoke with conviction, "Well your mother's wrong. Whatever you decide to do, it needs to not only be what's best for Paige but for you too. From what Ryan tells me, you're a fantastic mother. So no matter what you choose, Paige is going to be okay. The question you have to ask yourself is, will you be?"