The Life of Buddy

Chapter LLXVII

After speaking with Esther and making sure that Brian was settled in Ben's office Burt returned to his office emotions stirred inside of him.  He could not believe this was real.  True he had suspected it, he had thrown it in her face several times during arguments, and even expressed concerns with other on a few occasions.  But he did not believe that he really and truly believed that the woman he had married, had three children with, and somewhat loved for a short time was a predator.  Nor in his wildest imaginations did he realize how far across the line she had gone.

Then again do I know how far she went he thought as he walked to office's bar.  Brian had only told him what he witnessed.  What happened between them when no one else was around.  What did she do to the boy when they went on their special trips?  What other ways had she violated him?

He then shuddered at the thought.  He pulled a bottle of bourbon from under the bar and sat it on the bar.   And not just Mason he mused.  Buddy admitted she creepily touched him on several occasions but was that all she did?  What other memories did he have long buried.  And not just him what about Brandon?  And Ben?

I guess one good thing about her hating his other children.  He did not have to worry about her doing anything inappropriate to them he thought.

He blew out his breath as he asked himself now what.   He could not just let this go.  Both Mason and Brian were hurting because of her.  They had suffered pain worse than any butt whipping that he had ever given them.  He could not just pretend this never happened and sweep it under the rug.

Never imagined I would have to deal with anything like this he thought as he poured the brown liquid into the glass.  He then stared at a for a few moments as his promise to Brian entered his mind to cut down on his drinking.

Sorry son I need this he thought as he emptied the contents of the glass.

There was a knock on his door.

"Come in."  Burt said.

The door opened and Pamela walked in.  "You wanted to see me."

"Yes."  Burt said as he poured himself another glass.

Pamela's eyes narrowed as she walked over to him. "A little early isn't it?"

"Yes."   He replied.  "Do you want a glass?"

"No thanks."  Pamela said.  "What's wrong?"  An uneasy feeling went through her as she watched him down his glass of bourbon.   He then grabbed the bottle to pour another glass when she said "Don't you think you should slow down."

Burt was in mid pour when he let out a sigh.  "I guess."   My answers are not in here he thought.  They never have been even though I have looked into the bottle for them many times.  He then picked up the glass and poured the contents back into the bottle.

"What's going on?"  Pamela asked.  "Is something wrong with Buddy?" 

"Let's sit down."   Burt said as he motioned to the nearby couch.   Once on the couch he told her about Brian's revelation about what happened the night of the party.  Her eyes widened as she listened and disbelief filled her face.

"Are you sure?"  She asked.  True she did not like Elizabeth, she found her to be a petty, narcissistic woman who made the lives of anyone who came into contact with her miserable. And yes did believe that she was a little to wrapped up in her sons, especially when it came to Mason but she never thought she would go this far.  "Of course you are.  Buddy would never make up something like that."

"No he wouldn't." 

"Have you spoken with Mason?"

"We did."  Burt said.  "He's denied anything happened but I could tell he was lying."  He then looked out the window at the clear blue sky.  "I called Esther to talk to him.  If anyone can get the truth out of him its her."   He then looked back at Pamela and saw that she was in agreement. "I don't blame him for not wanting to admit the truth.  I can't say I would be any different if I was him."

"It's hard for victims to come forward."  Pamela said.  "The pain of reliving it, the humiliation of what happened, the guilt."

"Guilt?"  Burt asked confused.  "What does he have to be guilty about."

"Absolutely nothing."  Pamela said firmly.  "But in his mind he's probably blaming himself.  She probably even convinced him that it was his fault."

"I can see her doing that."  Burt said.  "Nothing is ever her fault and everyone else's."  Then again who I am to judge in the blaming other's game.  I had blamed both her and Amanda for my inability to stay faithful.  Claimed if they were the wives that they should have been I would have never strayed.  Made them responsible for my inability to commit to a monogamous relationship.  

"I can't help but blame myself for this?"

"How so?"  Pamela asked confused.

"It happened in my house."  Burt said incredulous.  "The signs were there and I basically ignored them." His voice then trembled as he spoke.  "And where was I the night that this happened."

"You were having dinner with your son."  Pamela said.  "You should not feel guilty for spending time with your son."

"But that's not all that I did that night was it?"   Shame lit up in his eyes.  "While my sons were being tormented by that woman what was I doing."   I was doing what I did best betraying my family.  "I should have been there.  I should have been there to protect my boys."

A look of guilt crossed Pamela's face.  "Burt you made a mistake..."  She then cut herselgf off and corrected herself.  "We made a mistake that night.  But what happened to Mason and to Buddy was not your fault.  It was not your fault, it was not mine, nor was it their fault.  The only one to blame for what happened is Elizabeth.  She was the one who choose to prey on her sixteen year old son and from what I understand it was not the first or last time."

"No it was not."  He said shaking his head.

"And beating yourself up about it is not going to do either Buddy or Mason any good."  Pamela said.  "They are going to need to a parent there for them now not one wrapped up in his own guilt and regret."

She was right he thought.  Now was not the time for self incrimination.  I have to focus on my boys not myself.  On them.  He then looked at Pamela and thought how out of all the women that he has been with she has been the wisest of them all.  She knew what exactly to say at the right time.

No wonder I love her so much Burt thought.

Stop it he screamed at himself stop it now Burt.

He avoided eye contact with not wanting to be drawn into them.  He thought how he could get lost in her wonderous eyes.  He then pushed the thought of his head and then asked "Now what?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do I now."  He said with a shrug.

"I think that's pretty obvious."  Pamela said giving him a look of disbelief.  How can he not know what he needed to do next.

"I guess its not obvious enough."

"You have a woman who you know is a danger to the well being of your children."  Pamela said.  "Especially your minor son.   What do you think you should do to protect him."

What he needed to do then entered his mind.  He guessed deep down he knew what he needed to do he just needed someone else to tell him.  It was what he should have done years ago when he first began to suspect Elizabeth's true nature.  When he first feared that her love was not the normal motherly love.  

He then ran his hands down his face as he thought about the fight ahead of him.

The phone then buzzed in his pocket.  It was Esther.  She must have spoken with Mason.  "I better take this."

"Okay."  Pamela said.  "You know the right decision, you just need to do it."  She then walked out as Burt answered the phone.