11:11 (Poem Book#2) [Trigger Warning]

rant

I hardly think this is going to be a poem I just need a place to rant. I am currently crying in the freezer at work. Everything hurts too much. My parents won't stop fighting, I don't stop working, my friends don't stop leaving, my wrists don't stop bleeding. And it all hurts. I wanted to be treated like I actually matter. Im not asking to be texted 24/7, Im asking to be updated on whats going on. Not used as "oh well it doesn't matter she'll forgive me" but there are only so many times I can break my heart for other people. I havent stopped crying since I got home from work last night, and I just want to end everything. I dont care what happens to me at this point. Ill stay. And I'll keep hurting because I purly exsist to be a pin cushion. You know... whenever I leave the house for the evening, I come back and I get told about how much fun my family has had without me. When I am home its all arguing. When its only me and jg parents. Its all arguing. Maybe I really am the problem. Im not good enough for people to be happy Im not good enough for people to talk to me without being asked to and I just want to leave. Im hurting and I'm ready to go. Im so so ready to go.