11:11 (Poem Book#2) [Trigger Warning]

Horizons

Head in a cloud of smoke
Lead in my lungs
I'd give you my soul but it seems you already have someone's
I felt fear today for the first in a long while.
I smiled.
As I finally let the last hit release I can feel the adrenaline pumping
My teeth crunching
Grinding
Spine is winding.
I can see the horizon as far as physically possible.
I am stoppable.
Fear.
The end draws near.
One day my story will be as simple as the lines of which the sky meets the earth but it's so much more complicated than that.
There's no going back.
You can't resuscitate someone who was curdled from the inside out from the poison they were fed.
I'm no longer living.
Not yet dead.
I oversexualize myself in my head,
Why do that when men can do it instead.
I lay as flat as the horizon.
And let the son do what it's been permitted to every night. My lungs proceed to tighten
It's not right.
But I will take it anyways.