anguish// 5SOS

24

Calum

"You'll love Taylor. She's so energetic, I swear nothing can tire her out. Zach is a little quiet... I feel like he has a crush on her. Anyway, he can drive, and they'll happily take us round- even better if it's during the sunset,"

I knocked on Saffron's door and waited to be let in, seeing Esme sat in her towel on the bed while Saffron braided her hair.

"Oh- sorry. I brought you up some drinks since you've not had one today,"

"Damn you really look after us,"

"That's what cool uncles do,"

"Ew! Don't call yourself her uncle," Saffron grimaced, "We aren't related, if you couldn't see,"

"I didn't mean- yeah, okay. Do you need anything else?"

"No thanks,"

"Great. I'll leave you to it,"

As I shut the door, their mumbling began again and I chuckled, heading back downstairs to Ash. We'd decided on a movie, so he'd set it up and I sat beside him under the blanket.

"Are they doing okay? She must be so tired,"

"She's showered and they're having a right old chat now. I get how it feels to have the person you love most, so far away from you,"

"Did you love Mikayla?" he asked quietly.

"Platonically, yeah,"

"Do you think you'll ever want to find a relationship? A non- platonic relationship?"

"Oh... I'm not sure. I feel like the part of my heart capable of loving has been ripped out,"

"But you love me, and Saffron, and your mum,"

"The part capable of intimate love,"

"It's all love,"

"Do you want me to have a relationship?"

"Your choice," he shrugged, "We can always live together if we have no one else,"

"We are almost forty. I doubt we will be having kids,"

"We've got Saffron, ay? It's never too late, and I'm kinda liking a kid around. It makes me want to look into fostering,"

"I never thought of that. Anyway, I don't think I need a relationship to thrive. Who says I have to have one to be happy?"

"You're absolutely right,"

We played the film and shared plenty of laughter together, then headed upstairs and got ready for tonight. I got the girls' pizza orders and paid for it, then made up some drinks and waited for them to come down.

"It's been nice to hang out with you today. Seeing this side of you again reassures me- honestly, I've been so worried about you Cal,"

"You don't need to worry, it's getting easier,"

"I know, I'm finally accepting it myself. Esme might be just what Saffron needs to finally settle down huh?"

"I reckon so. The pair of them are so sweet,"

"Holding each other wil be just what they needed.

We sat down on the sofa, only for the doorbell to ring. As expected, they raced downstairs , and took our seats on the sofa. Both of them still wore their pyjamas, but it seemed as if they had a little bit of makeup on now. I supposed they'd not had time together like this for weeks.

"So, Esme, what do you get up to?"

"Uhm, similar to Saffron since we are together a lot. Reading, studying,"- "Thats bullshit,"

"Okay, I hate studying. I'm a bit dumb,"

"I'm sure you're not,"

"She is,"

"I am,"

"We're all smart, just in different ways," Ash smiled, "Do you do any clubs?"

"No, it's kind of expensive. Sometimes I volunteer at the charity shop, usually near Christmas. I enjoy meeting lots of people,"

"Awh, well that's nice. I don't feel like I know that much about you two, other than whenever Saffron is upset, she wants you,"

"Well we met at school, we were just friends for a really long time. I was figuring out who I was, she was figuring out who she was... do you have anything to say?"

"Well we tried a couple of people, and couple of things. I pretty much figured out I was lesbian as soon as having relationships became a big thought," Saffron said. Hearing her open up about this was pleasant.

"Yeah. I was quite confused, and I had previously just had boyfriends. I figured out I like girls though, and Saffron is my first girlfriend- probably my only. I don't label myself, really,"

"So how long have you been together again?"

"11 months,"

"Your relationship is more stable and any of ours, ever,"

"Probably because we understand what each other have been through to get to where we are now in the relationship,"

"Good point. Will you be alright if we set off now?"

They nodded and I gave them both a hug goodbye, clearing up the rubbish as they returned upstairs. Esme seemed really genuine and had clear intentions which filled me with confidence. 11 months at 16 is pretty impressive, and they clearly meant the world to each other.

We shouted goodbye and then got in the car, Ash driving on the way there because he wanted to.

Luke's car was already in the drive when we arrived, so we parked on the path and grabbed our bags, heading into Mike's house which already had a mild scent of beer.

"Hello! Happy holidays for us,"

"Certainly," I laughed, taking a beer, "Even if we have kids now,"

"Having a week off is always good,"

"Are the girls home alone?" Luke asked, scooting up so Ash could sit with him.

"Yeah, yeah. They're old enough I think,"

"What are their plans?"

"Well to be honest, I think we can all imagine what their plans will be because they're home alone and haven't seen each other for weeks... but I trust them both to be safe and respectful towards each other,"

"They really are lovely," Ash added, "And haven't seen each other in so long. As an adult it's hard to figure out long distance, nevermind as a kid,"

"Bless them, things haven't been great,"

"How are you holding up?" Michael asked me, "Good? Okay?"

"We are getting closer to good. Of course I miss her, but I know she isn't dealing with that pain anymore and that comforts me a lot. She doesn't suffer anymore,"

"Yeah, I'm thinking that too. It's not your fault,"

"I know that now,"

"Cheers to us," Luke said, holding up his beer, "To things getting better,"

"To things getting better indeed,"