When A Playboy Loves

|| 58.

Utianle

Grey skies drifted above me, I crossed my arms around my legs, touching my chin to my knees as my body swayed gently. Cold gushed into the room through the missing part of the ceiling and the chill air stung my skin.

I shivered and tightened my arms around myself, at least it wasn't raining. It might. My eyes struggled to adjust to the darkness of this suffocating cubicle as my nose was already muffled by the smell of the prison.

Prison.

How did it come to this?

Images, scenes leading up to the moment the blackness took over snuck up on me. I shoved them to the back of my mind. If I was faster, that baby killer would have been six feet under by now. Dead. Gone. I should have gotten one shot, pulled that stupid trigger. I had only one job to do. Maybe two. End him and end me. But I rambled until the end.

Pain slithered through my veins, my heart squeezed and my breath came out in short rasps as I stared into the darkness, this cage I was banished to. The throbbing in my neck returned, I massaged the spot on my nape to rid me of the stiffness caused by whatever they used to stab me. If I wasn't talking too much, I might have heard the footsteps, felt the fat needle before it pierced my neck.

I missed my chance to see my baby. I should have taken that killer's life, then mine. What was the point of living without my baby?

The back of my eyes burned with tears forbidden from falling, I rocked from side to side. I wanted my baby. I swiped the back of my hand against my runny nose, the sky rumbled and the image of a certain man popped into my mind. How would he feel?

Was he coming?

Shooting to my feet, I paced the dark room. My fingers ran along the wall to guide my movements. The contact with a cold metal hit me with a realisation, my hands closed around the bars of the cell and a heavy feeling settled in my chest. A pitiful scream left my lips. I banged the door, shouted as hard as a woman who lost her baby could and was rewarded with a resounding sound.

Minutes had passed since that phone call, it could have been hours. Time didn't matter here. I should have called Faith instead, she might get upset but she would have gotten me out of here immediately. Where was he? I got only one chance to make a call, he had to be here, I needed to leave. What would I say to him? Esther? What would he do? I pushed away from the door. This was his fault too.

He put the idea of a birthday party in my baby's mind. Now, Samia lived and he didn't.

In the middle of the room, I took a long look at the sky and my lips curled into a sadistic smile when the first drops of water touched my forehead. No roof meant no protection from the rain but what did it matter? I loved the rain and what better way to punish me than with what I loved? If I was lucky, the room would be flooded in a few minutes and I might die of a cold before King arrived to facilitate a bail. I shouldn't have called him.

A sob escaped me, I crumpled to the ground like a useless sheet of paper and curled into a foetal position. My hand slid to my chest, I couldn't feel it anymore-my heart ceased to beat. He took my baby yet he lived, breathed. I was here because of him, he should also be dead. Why didn't I pull the trigger? My gaze flickered to the sky, the clouds that slowly morphed into the shape of Emma's face.

Bad mummy.

His lips pulled into a straight line to conceal his missing front teeth, I willed him to smile but his eyes narrowed. There was no trace of love in those eyes nor the usual innocence associated with my baby boy, only hate, anger and accusation. I shook my head as another wave of pain nearly blinded me.