When A Playboy Loves

|| 60.

Utianle

I would be a liar if I said I was sorry for the things I said to King, I would be a big liar. It was his fault, everything that happening was because of him. Why didn't he tell me Umoh cheated early enough? We wouldn't have had that fight. If we didn't fight, my babies and I would have still been at his place, he would have taken Emma to Samia's party himself. Umoh would have been unable to locate us.

The bed creaked as I settled on it, I sat cross-legged, hands on my knees with my eyes centred on the door. Was I expecting him back in the room? No. I didn't want to see him. One minute, maybe two passed and he didn't come in. My stomach grumbled, his words came rushing back and I punched my stomach. Gently at first but it soon turned into punches that sent pain shooting up my chest. Still, I didn't stop. I didn't want his baby. If this was his way of making me forget all about my son, it wasn't working.

Who did he think he was? Kill my child and put another one inside me? He wasn't even sorry. He did this to me. He killed my son, took Esther's brother away from her. Esther. My baby. I had to get her before he took her from me too. I popped out of the bed and stormed to the door, we had to leave this place. I wanted no part of this relationship or whatever it was he called it. I wanted nothing to do with it anymore. I was content with living in my old house with creaky stairs.

The door didn't budge the first time, I twisted the knob slowly but nothing happened. A moment passed before it hit me. He locked the door. King locked me inside. I stared long and hard at the door, half-expecting it to open under my glare. Nothing happened.

He really locked me inside. Was he aware I wanted to leave him? I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, a feeling of lethargy crashed over me but I pushed past it and banged on the door like a mad lady on the loose. I could be mad, who knew? I could barely think straight. Life made no sense.

The more I banged on the door, the more my hands grew tired and I gave in to the voice screaming for me to take a break. What I would have preferred was freedom from this place but I obeyed the voice and slid to the floor. Alone with my thoughts, I refused to feel bad at the image of a hurt King that swam to the surface of my mind. He was everything I labelled him. Maybe more.

A baby killer.

A terrible guardian.

I couldn't let him adopt Esther or bring his child into this horrible world. He didn't know the first thing about fatherhood. My insides twisted into knots and I palmed my belly.

Could it be true?

That a little King was growing inside me? No, I shook my head with enough conviction. I would have known, a mother always knew. But I didn't know Emma would die. Ah, yes, because I was a bad mummy.

A bad mummy who couldn't pull the trigger.

I closed my eyes, a lone tear trailed down my cheek and I furiously swiped at it. I couldn't cry. I wouldn't cry. Folding my arms around my belly, I sniffed and allowed the memories I tried so hard to submerge surround me. I could see them clearly now, the portraits at Umoh's house but I couldn't place it. A faint memory niggled at me, I tried and failed to remember yet it eluded me. I knew him.

That man in those frames. Umoh's father. I knew him but from where? Why did he look so familiar? Since dating Umoh, I never met any of his parents, he barely brought them up and I was content with that. A part of me must have realised meeting his parents meant the next big step in our relationship and I tried to delay it. Until King came along, which also made it his fault. If he wasn't in my life, didn't make me question everything, I might have been married to Umoh by now. He wouldn't have had a reason to stalk me.