xxxvi - i care for you

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●ALEX POV●

The matter of fact is , I fell for her . After I told her not to fall in love with me, I fell for her.  The hurt in my heart isn't her fault . And there were so many things I could have done differently , right? We watched them dance tonight and my heart broke because they looked like a couple in love . A couple that I was actively trying to keep apart.

"What's the meaning of this?" My father asked as we all watched the same scene unfold.

Florence nudged me supportively because technically we were in the same boat, except I was Greg in this story. So I finally spoke up , "Aria and I never were a real couple . We made it all up because she needed someone to help her save face and I needed her to help convince Warren I wasn't going to run."

"Are you okay?" Asked Rachel. She could tell how much this pained me , "she is a lovely woman, but we always thought her and Warren.....you know, growing up." I placed my hand over hers and nodded . Even I knew it . If we saw it with Florence and Mick , I don't want to be the one to stand in the way of love that was obvious .

But damn if it didn't hurt . All I needed was confirmation from her and she gave it to me . Letting me down as easily as she could in the phone call last night.

《FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT》

"Hey," I answered as I saw Aria's name light up .

"Hi, can you talk?" She asked with a slight concerning tone.

"Sure, everything okay?"

"Yeah, just wanted to tall about tomorrow," I knew this was coming . Would she still want me to be her date? Or has she changed her mind?

"This was really hard for me because there were things that had been conflicting with my core values," she began , a little high pitched signifying she was nervous.

"Like how?" Trying to prompt her that it was okay .

"I don't back out of my word or promise but I also don't continue doing something that doesn't feel right. And I just feel so torn," she answers, "I care about you Alex. And I want to go through with our plans but this facade doesn't feel right anymore . The way our parents are getting involved , all happily about the two of us. I feel guilty."

I take in what she said to me . I understand but I also know there's more , "So that's all? Or does any of this have to do with Warren?"

She sighs , "Warren is part of it too but he didn't put me up to it. We just get along really well."

"We do too," I'm feeling slightly guilty after hearing what Florence told me about her relationship .

"We do, but I really need to be honest with you . I really like Warren. I like who I am when we're together. Someone who isn't afraid,  someone who is confident and I feel more like myself when we're together. Not that you didn't have qualities that made me a better person either . You helped me become more spontaneous and to let go of my past ." She pauses to catch her breath , "After what Penelope did to you and your brother , I was scared that I'd break you guys apart . But Warren assured me that he won't let that happen . Because you're his brother and he loves you . That whatever I decide he'd be okay, that you would too."

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