Crush me, back

Chapter Thirty-four

Chapter thirty-four

Mom looked at me hysterically. Hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi ko.

"Are you insane Samantha? My work is here! I also need to manage the hospital! Hindi pwedeng aalis nalang ako bigla." she walks back and forth.

"Tyaka iyong kaso ng daddy mo. Hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi natin nakukuha ang hustiya para sakanya, you know that." pain crossed her eyes, pero agad din iyong nawala.

"Alam ko po, pero masyado nang marami ang nangyari. I don't know if I can breath the same air now. I feel suffocated if I did. I want a fresh start..." pabulong kong sabi.

"We can get through this. You have me, your friends and Dior." she held my hand.

"Wala na po kami ni Dior, Ma." shock is evident on her face. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko.

"What? Kelan pa?" inalalayan niya akong maupo.

"When dad died." parang may bumara sa lalamunan ko.

She hug me and caressed my hair. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry sweetheart, it must have been hard for you."

And just like that, I cried on my mother's arm like an infant. This is the care that I yearned since dad died. I was like a cat, pouring on my mother's arm for how many minute. Nagtataka ako dahil walang kumatok sa opisina ni mommy para sa trabaho niya, she just comforted me and give me the love that I deserve. She didn't ask why I and Dior split up. I didn't open up either. Soon I will tell her.

Hindi na siya tumanggap ng trabaho buong maghapon at sumabay na rin siya ng uwi sa akin. She is holding my hand the whole ride. Takot na mawala ako.

Pagdating namin sa bahay, sinamahan niya ako hanggang sa kwarto ko.

"Samantha," tawag niya sa pangalan ko.

Lumingon ako.

"If you want to go to the states, I will inform your grandparents, sakanila ka titira."

"But, what about you?"

She smiled to me, "I'll stay here. I'll manage the hospital and fight for your dad's case." she rubs my cheek.

My tear fell. 

"Thank you, Mom."

Tumango siya, "I will do everything to keep you..." makahulugan niyang sabi.

"Go get change, and come downstairs for dinner." aniya at lumabas ng kwarto ko.

Everything happened so fast. Hindi na ako pumasok ng linggo na 'yun sa school. Nag-aayos lang ako ng mga papel para sa pag-alis ko. Hindi ko rin sinabi sa mga kaibigan ko na aalis ko, baka magbago lang isip ko kapag nakita ko silang umiiyak. 

I carry a heavy heart when I enter the airplane board to California. Every  step contains all of the memories I have here. Hindi sa hindi ako babalik dito, I just want to leave to find myself. I will be back, when I'm healed and stronger.

Leaving doesn't mean you are weak. Im just taking a break from this toxic world. I want to breath and be free. And being here is not that. The surroundings gives me anxiety and hurted me too much that I think I'll never forget. It is engraved in every bits of my body, I can't even erase.

"Ready?" Mom asked.

I nodded and I felt her hand on top of mine when we take off.

It was a tiring plane ride. My grandparents welcomed us in the airport and bring us their home— which will also be my home for I don't know till when.