Crush me, back

Chapter Twenty-six

Chapter Twenty-six

I excused myself and went to the restroom to breath. I feel suffocated, 'ni wala nga akong ginagawa. Hindi ko dapat sisihin sarili ko but this goddamn thoughts are circling on my mind that made my mouth taste sour. I hate it.

Itinungkod ko ang dalawang kamay ko sa sink at tumingin sa repleksiyon ko.

"You've done nothing wrong Sam..." I let out a breath, "nothing."

I keep myself all together at naglagay din ng lipstick and smiled on my reflection before going out. I saw Dior leaning on the wall when I went out. Agad siyang lumapit sakin.

"Are you okay?" his musky scent filled my nose.

Yumuko ako at umiwas sa hawak niya. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko and he drag me where he is going. We reached their parking lot at agad niyang pinatunog ang sasakyan niya. 

"Where are we going? We can't leave the party." I said in crossed arms.

"Trust me, we can leave anytime."

"Get it." habol niya pa.

I get in inside his car and he drove to I don't know where. He stopped in a park in front of the beach. It has several cabanas with a meter interval each. Mayroon ding swing sa right side namin, at mga fairy light na nakapaligid.

Umupo kami sa cabana na nalapit sa tubig.

"Why did you bring me here?" sumandal ako sa upuan.

"To talk." nakikita ko sa gilid ng mata ko na nakatingin siya sa akin.

"Ano naman ang paguusapan natin?"

Silence enveloped us. Nagpapakiramdaman kung sino ang unang magsasalita. Na parang isang maling salita lang pareho kaming sasabog.

"Faith has a big dreams, gusto niya mag-aral sa manila. Plano namin na dito kami magco-college, but she didn't tell me that she took an entrance exam in manila." he held my hand and rub the back of it using his thumb.

"It pained me. She wants to make ldr work, but there are a lot of guys in manila. Baka makahanap siya ng iba at palitan ako. I want to support her but my insecurity is consuming me."

I listened to him with all my heart.

"And we decided to end our relationship. Months after she want me back but my friends told me that she already hanged out with other guys." he shifted on his seat and faced me.

"Kaya hindi ko tinganggap ang scholarship. I want to be with you." he looked hopeful.

That's selfish. He wanted to keep me but I want him to pursue his dreams. It's unfair when you both don't have the same perspective in life. It's just unfair.

"Don't you trust me?" I asked.

He opened his mouth like about to say something but he stopped midway and starred at me for about a minute.

"I trust you baby." he kissed my hand.

"We're okay in here diba?" he looked frustrated.

Kung nagtitiwala siya sakin, bakit hindi niya tinganggap 'yung scholarship? It is a big shot for him! I'm okay here at hindi ako katulad ni Faith. I'll stay loyal to him. I have so much trust in him and it hurts that he doesn't feel the same.

Hindi man niya sabihin pero alam kong nasa sistema parin ni si Faith. Binalewala ko iyon, because I want to make this relationship work.

"If you trust me, bakit mo hindi tinanggap ang scholarship? Kasi baka maging katulad ko si Faith? Dior naman, you know me. Hindi ko gagawin 'yun sayo. At 'wag mong sabihin na hindi big deal ang putanginang scholarship na 'yan. Dior can't you see? Future mo na 'yun. And you want to stay here with me?" pinalis ako ang takas na luha galing saking mata.