Your Creation • Zarry

77. Fools rush in

Me: I'm sorry.

I could have fought with Zayn and normally I would have. I would have defended myself and gotten mad about Gigi showing up to his apartment at three in the morning and acted like a jealous fool. I could have started a whole entire argument with him like I usually did, but I was emotionally spent at that point. I was running out of fuel, and I got a call from Zayn later that day as I got into Washington.

"Hey," I said, answering the phone.

"I'm not mad at you," he said. "I didn't mean to sound like a dick or anything."

"No, it's fine. I should have called."

"It's just not the kind of conversation I wanted to have with G, it was awkward."

"Yeah well imagine how awkward it was for me," I replied, laughing uncomfortably even though it really wasn't funny and Zayn definitely did not laugh. "Did she tell you that I said I was in the wrong building?"

"She did say that, yeah."

"Did she believe me?"

"I don't know. She didn't really question it much further, but she's not exactly stupid either."

"Well, I just wanted to see you," I said glumly.

"Then you could have said that."

"It used to be fun when I'd just show up and surprise you."

"I know but like, sometimes we can't do stuff like that anymore. It gives me anxiety because I never know what to expect. I like to know what's going on."

"Alright." I paused for a moment, debating on asking the next question but just kind of said it before I had a chance to stop myself. "What was she coming over at three in the morning for?"

"She had a bad night. You went out and I didn't hear from you all night so when she asked to come over I let her," Zayn answered. "Please don't start a fight with me over this."

"I'm not," I assured him.

The two of us just sat on the phone in silence for what felt like an eternity and I didn't know what to say next. I had been thinking a lot about what Jeff said, but now didn't seem like the right time to start badgering Zayn with questions about the future of our relationship, especially since I probably already knew the answers, so instead I just cleared my throat and pretended like everything was fine.

"Tour is over in a few weeks," I said. "You have any plans coming up?"

"I'm not sure yet," Zayn replied. "Why?"

"I was thinking maybe we could go on a holiday together, just you and me. Somewhere where nobody will find us."

"I don't know Harry...people always find you."

"I'll make it super private. I'll even get a jet and you know I don't take jets anymore. It'll be like, somewhere really remote in the middle of nowhere."

"Alright, maybe. Come up with the details and let me know, but I gotta go now. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too."

July 2018

I couldn't seem to shake this weird sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach for the last week. Camille had been growing distant from me ever since Madison Square Garden and not to mention the fact that Zayn was busy having his own problems with his label and his album that kept getting delayed. Me and Zayn's conversations were short lately and we were mostly just bullshitting about day to day things when we had time to catch up and I was starting to feel anxious, like something bad was going to happen and the feeling kept creeping up on me at the most random times.