Your Creation • Zarry

29. Subtle

Zayn and I had agreed to tell the boys on the last night of the European leg in Portugal, but Zayn made it very clear that he wanted it to seem like it wasn't a big deal, so he left it all to me in finding a way to casually bring it up. No pressure or anything.

Zayn's anxiety about the whole situation on the way to Lisbon was pretty bad, to be honest. He kept telling me how worried he was that the lads were going to be uncomfortable or judgmental, or that they would treat us differently, and it made me feel like shit that he was that scared about it. I truly didn't believe that was going to happen, but it made me think about the hardships that the LGBT community faced, that people feel so afraid, causing them to hide how they felt to avoid being discriminated against. It was such a sad reality and we were kind of living it, but under a strict boyband management and the watchful eye of the media, which was even worse.

But when all was said and done, Louis, Niall and Liam were our brothers. We were all family and in my heart I knew that they would support us no matter what because I trusted them. That's what I continued telling Zayn as I tried to alleviate some of his anxiety.

We had been sat around my hotel room after our final show playing video games and bullshitting - the typical routine. I knew at some point I had to break the ice, but there hadn't seemed to be the proper moment in conversation yet.

"We really ought to section off a part of the crowd for just the dads, I think," said Liam, sipping on a gin and tonic. "Poor guys looked like they were in pain from all the screaming."

"Agreed," I said with a nod.

"That's the part of the stage you'll be sticking round, Harry. You love a Dad," Niall added with a laugh.

Zayn and I exchanged looks; I stifled a laugh.

"Not to change the subject, but I swear some of these fans are literally mad. Like, straight up mental," Louis interrupted as he laid in an armchair scrolling through twitter. "The shit that I read sometimes gets on me last nerve."

"Oh what now?" Liam asked.

"Just more bullshit about how management is supposedly keeping Harry and me apart, these outrageous conspiracy theory proofs - shit. Just the rudest remarks about Eleanor. Like, it's really fucking her up. If I had known everything was going to be taken this far, I would have never bothered to joke around with you at all, Harry."

I tried to avoid looking at stuff like that regarding Larry, but I knew that Louis saw most things. It was seemingly never ending. The truth was that our management suggested that Louis and I chilled out on outwardly displaying our friendship because we had complained about the rumors. We made that conscious decision and we agreed that it was for the best. We also took part of the blame for initially fueling the fire when we thought it was funny, but it wasn't funny anymore. There were no contracts that forbade us to be together because 1. we weren't even together and 2. the only contracts that we had ever signed were for our five album deal. Whatever the fans drummed up afterward was fueled solely based on what they still wanted to believe.

"I know Lou, but what's done is done. Just ignore it now. People will always assume that they have us all figured out when they have no idea what's really going on. I mean, they're so keen on it being me and you when it's actually me and Zayn."

Was that subtle?

Niall and Louis laughed, which meant they obviously thought I was kidding. The other pair that the fans seemed to believe in whole heartedly was Zayn and Liam, which was laughable at best, but neither of them were ever that bothered and to be fair, it never escalated in the same way. Liam thought it was hilarious though, which is why he cracked jokes about it so often.