You Accepted Me!

Tell the Truth... or Lie?

Beam walked to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle and took a long drink. Forth appreciated the sleek lines of his body, the smooth plane of his stomach and stretch of skin sliding over muscles you really didn't know were there until he was under you... 

Beam gave a wry smile when he noticed Forth's hungry gaze and the unbidden erection. "Calm the fuck down, Forth, it's talking time not play time."

"I guess I really should apologize for running, but I won't. I told you I was scared. I still am. It's very complicated, my reasons. I want you, I like being hunted, it felt good, amazing actually."

Beam grimaced as aches and pains in his hips and lower back began to make themselves felt. "Well, some parts were amazing, some reminders were not so pleasant." Wriggling on the couch to get comfortable and remove a still nude Forth from his direct line of sight, he continued, "I gave you too much of myself, and in return, you gave too much as well. I knew it then and I know it now. But right now, I have to decide if I'm telling you the truth or lying."

"And I don't know which is scarier - truth or lies."

He got up and walked to the wardrobe and pulled out jeans and a pale blue shirt and began to dress. He looked at Forth's T-Shirt floating in the fish tank and sighed, and pulled out a basic white T-shirt and threw it at him. "Get dressed, we are going for a walk."

"Why?" asked Forth, while he pulled on his clothes. Beam's T-Shirt was a size to small, and emphasized his pecs, pulling across and puckering. Beam's eyes lingered on the breadth and width of the shoulders and pecs and wanted to make a sign proclaiming "mine" but he couldn't, and maybe never could.

"I need beer, especially if it's a truth night. Hurry up." Beam strode to the door and slid his feet into sandals and waited impatiently. His normally neat hair was mussed and he looked so fucking adorable, Forth wanted to throw him back on the bed and fuck him again. 

NO... This was more important, his god damn penis was not taking charge right now.

Locking the dorm room, Beam was surprised to find his hand firmly clasped in Forth's. "Umm, no, Forth, not unless we become official and I've told my parents."

What the fuck? Parents? We are only just starting talking about dating and Beam is mentioning parents? Well, that's not far off considering how he felt the last month but still, it's surprising since it was Beam who ran from him... 

He dropped Beam's hand and murmured "Okay."

They took the elevator down and walked to the 7-11 and bought the beer. Forth looked at Beam and asked, "Where to?"

"Follow me," Beam started walking and after about 10 minutes, they came to a small kiddie playground that wasn't in use at this time of night. Tucked in a far corner was two picnic tables and a park bench. Beam sat down on the bench and patted next to him.

He pulled out a beer, handed one to Forth, popped the top and and sighed. Stretching out his legs, "So, what is better, Forth, the truth or lies?" 

"Truth," no hesitation, "Always truth." Forth looked at Beam who had drained the first can and had popped the top of the second. He wondered if he would have to carry Beam home... 

Beam gave a sad smile... "I knew you'd say that. I wanted to lie, Forth, I wanted to be a Cinderella, and instead, you've put me in a glass house." He would have kicked the can but in the dark, he'd never find it. 

Beam explained about his parents, and medical school. Pha and Kit didn't even know this, only Forth, and then went on to explain about the "one night stands". Somehow, Forth understood that need for a human connection that seemed to validate you, that made the loneliness bearable. 

Forth wasn't clear though, on why Beam had run away. That wasn't entirely clear. So time for some probing into a tipsy Beam's brain. 

"Princess, there's something I don't get. Why did you run? If I can make you less lonely, why run from me?"

"Because of my shithead father... he caught me kissing Phana when I was 13, and beat me. Said he didn't need no homo son. My mom shut down at that point. I don't think she gives a damn either way, as long as I, and I quote, don't do anything to embarrass her."

Forth's mind shut down with the image of Beam and Forth kissing while he processed what he had heard. "How is dating me embarrassing?"

"I have no idea. Yet. But they will find a way to interfere if we get together and I don't know if I am strong enough. I know I want you. I know I want to be with you. I think I could love you..." Beam's voice trailed off as his foot drew circles in the sand. He reached down and grabbed another can of beer.

"So," Forth smirked, "You and Phana..."

Beam punched him in the tummy and sighed. "Don't start. It was a long time ago and we wanted to see what was so great about kissing."

"And... was it great to kiss a boy?" Forth was openly laughing by this time, in his mind he could just picture how cute Beam would have been at 13, and he wished he was that Phana!

"No! Actually, I, uh have a confession to make..." Beam let his words trail off and lifted his eyes once again to search Forth's face carefully. This was so damn painful. And hard. Why was being honest so hard compared to just avoiding everyone other than the Crazy Doc gang?

Taking a really deep breath, he looked Forth directly in the eye and said, "You're the only person, male or female, that I kissed. I mean, really kissed. Not just pressed lips together."