The end is nigh, making Death a very busy man. And that's too bad because he's kind of stupid. Luckily, he's got Cheron, a deadpan heroine who just so happens to be immortal. Watch as they reap souls, fall in love, and destroy the universe. Then wat...
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On the quiet outskirts of the Triangulum Galaxy, hundreds of spaceships dock at Schopenhauer-696 b, an exoplanet used as a trading port. Its primary and much sought after export is a delicious, highly versatile, rice-like crop called "eugh." It falls from the planet's moon like snow. This is MA. The moon, I mean. The moon's name is MA. No one knows that though. No one but me and now, of course, you.
MA produces not only the crop but also a heavenly, white aura that works as a lighthouse for ships and a halo for Schopenhauer-696 b. From thousands of miles away, the planet and its moon together look like an archangel. Up close however, the trading grounds look like war. Merchants shove one another and abscond with loose cargo. Security forces surround each warehouse. Mooches cry out and bleed when caught. But the crop is all over the planet. Like, literally covering the ground, several inches deep for hundreds of thousands of miles. I just don't understand.
The Hearse weaves around freights and away from the planet's shuttle landing site, until the incoming ships and unloading are heard but not disruptive. Before the Hearse can grace the ground, Molly and Todd bust out of the back door. They dart into the nearest bonded warehouse to prepare for the press conference, setting the stage with pallets, then the chairs and podium with boxes. Juby, Juno, and Hal hop out of the Hearse soon after. The bellhops guard the passenger door. Only after a scrupulous surveying does Hal open it. Oto steps out. His footsteps crunch on the ricey ground.
Juby skips to face the reaper. "Are you ready?"
Oto nods.
"Gosh." She flicks his nose and starts toward the warehouse. "Look alive, beanpole."
"Thank you," he hollers listlessly then turns to Juno and Hal. "Alright, boys! Your service is much appreciated, as always. Go on and guard the door. I just gotta talk to the miss."
They nod. Juno sniffs the ground. It smells a little burnt and a lot like blood. Hal hauls him away. Oto walks around and taps the driver's window.
Cheron rolls it down. "Maybe this isn't it either."
"No, no, don't do that." He sways, all dramatic. "We checked and rechecked the reaping lists. This is the only day, and this is the only planet, where no one dies. We're not going to get another chance like this."
"Yes, but still, something bad could happen. We can call it off. Just do another online meeting."
Oto shakes his head. "No, we can't. Lorel AI insists on some remote broadcast, and Purgatory isn't even perceptible for mortals." He holds his partner's little hands. "Don't worry. We'll be in and out. Two hours, tops. Then everyone's gone. Don't worry."
She frowns. It has been eight hours since Cheron last swallowed painkillers. The size of each dosage increases the effects' intensity but not their longevity. She thinks she packed some in her breast pocket. She is wrong.
Oto sighs and leans his head against the roof of the Hearse. "I wish you hadn't come."
Her eye shakes. She blinks hard but tries not to blink too much. She tugs at a hangnail.
