Drowned in You

17

Heaven

June got discharged on Sunday. She was way better than the last time she got her seizure, so I was relieved to some extent. I brought her home and put her at complete house arrest until I convinced myself she's fine to go out again. A bit harsh, I know, but I couldn't help but be extra cautious.

"Judy are you sure y-"

"For the hundredth time Heaven, I can handle everything! Just go!" Judy sighed in frustration. I bit my lip from saying anything. I know I was being unreasonable but it was just scary for me.

Judy's eyes softened and she smiled sadly at me. "Heaven, darling, you're taking it way too hard on yourself. Give yourself and June a break. She's fine now. And you already know this thing is common with her. Be glad she was immediately rushed to the hospital."

I shuddered at the thought of June lying on the cold floor of the shop. Judy noticed her words had the opposite effect on me and tried to change them but I just shook my head.

"You're right. I'm overreacting. It's just.....", I pulled my hair in frustration, "I can't stop thinking about how I couldn't find her when she needed me. I wasn't there Judy. She needed me and I wasn't there. We got lucky River and Anthony were there and they were good enough people to help her. But what if something like this happens again and I won't be there again? What if June is left somewhere alone to-to..."

"Sshh. Calm down girl. You'll give yourself a severe panic attack." Judy rubbed my back softly as I gasped out. The thoughts swarming all around my head wouldn't stop putting pictures of different scenarios and it was scaring the living daylights out of me.

"This is why you need to get out of the house and get to your job. Refocus your attention on something else rather than these negative thoughts. You'll soon feel better." Judy said and I sighed. She was right. I was just wasting my time and energy on the 'what ifs'. Nothing happened. June is fine. And I have a job.

Making up my mind, I drove off to the clinic. I had been assigned to a new patient, an 18 year old boy named Caleb. I had interacted with him via facetime a few times already, since I was on paid leave and he wanted therapy but did not want to come to the clinic. It was fine with me since I was already on leave to take care of June. But I had convinced him to come out today for our next session to help him more, since it was always more reliable in person.He had reluctantly agreed.

As I parked my car and entered the clinic, a sudden sense of dread filled me. Something seemed wrong. What, I didn't know, but something definitely wasn't right.

I walked up to the reception and smiled at the receptionist, Sarah.

"Good morning Sarah!"

She looked up from her computer and looked surprised to see me. She furrowed her eyebrows but smiled nevertheless.

"Heaven! Good morning! It's a surprise to see you here. How have you been?"

"I'm good. I was just busy with some personal stuff. Well, I'm back now. I have an appointment today. I should head inside. I'll see you later."

I turned to leave but Sarah's voice stopped me.

"Wait Heaven. You donot have any appointment today."