He clenched his jaw, hanging his head down as he mulled over his thoughts.
"Congratulations- you were right," she began to walk towards the stairs. "There's no point in me trying."
"Fuck," he hissed. "Why should I care?" He muttered, lifting his head and glancing at the the bridge that overlooked the ocean. The place he saw her that one time yet she wasn't there.
Because you know how she feels, you know exactly how it feels.
↻
The sky was dark as it became nightfall, there was not a single soul around as the girl sat with her knees pulled up to her chest- red eyes and tears staining her cheeks as she felt her heart clenching.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help." She whispered out as if he was there, as if she could hear him telling her it was okay and wrapping his arms around her.
"I just feel so lonely without you here, I'm sorry for everything- I wish it wasn't you. It should have been me that day, you deserved to live and have a beautiful family with Miyeon."
There was a sorrowful silence that consumed as she sat on the same cliff her brother died on.
"I'm tired, I'm so tired." Her voice came out shaky, wavering with heartfelt emotion.
"I don't think I can keep surviving in this, not without you. How could you just leave me here, you should have at least taken me too." She let out a teary laugh, sniffling.
"I miss you- I miss you so come back."
There was no response, not that she was hoping for one but she yearned to hear his voice again.
Miyeon
Hey, I was looking through some things and I found something Jeongmin was meant to give you for your birthday
If you can, drop by and we could catch up to, I miss you and I hope you're okay x
Seowoo didn't have the heart to reply, turning her phone off after seeing the masses of notifications in her phone.
She let out a small sigh, rubbing at her eyes. "Sometimes I wish I wasn't alive." She spoke bluntly, saying it out loud without tiptoeing around it and acting as if the overwhelming black cloud above her head hadn't been torturing her.
"I don't want to try anymore, I can't." The ground was cold under her but she couldn't stop the warmth falling over her as her emotions rose.
"You said you'd keep trying, even if you didn't succeed at first."
"I won't- I won't stop trying." She spoke defiantly, making sure to hold his stare with fire in her eyes. "Even if I don't succeed at first, people like you don't get to make the decision for me- you certainly don't have a place to put me down."
Seowoo flinched at the sudden voice, turning her head to see Chenle slipping his helmet off- the pristine motorcycle parked a fair distance away.
"Fuck off." Seowoo turned back around, placing her chin in her arms as she glancing off the cliff.
Not long after, his footsteps drew to a close and she stayed silent as he sat down with a gap between them.
"I'm sorry."
Although he found himself with an urge to pull up the façade once again, he forced himself to act sincerely.
Seowoo was slightly taken aback but it didn't show as she didn't move an inch. "I shouldn't have said that and I shouldn't have lashed out at you."
There was a silence after his apology that hung in the air.
"You're not sorry, if you were then you wouldn't have said it in the first place."
"I am sorry Angel and you were right. I make others feel misery to make myself feel better." "You're sick in the head." "I know." His tone wasn't his usual blunt one, instead it sounded softer and shameful.
"I do understand how you feel, watching your sibling die in front of you."
Seowoo's eyes drifted over to him as he wouldn't dare make eye contact. "Because I was happy, because I cried too much and wanted to be normal. Because I just wanted to be me and not be tied down to a Mafia- my Dad shot my sister dead."
Seowoo's lips parted in shock and disgust. His own daughter...
"He controlled how I lived and I wasn't allowed to be happy or too carefree."
"Why?"
"Because then I'd be seen as weak and he would shoot the guard next and then it would be the maid."
"What the fuck...that's horrible."
Chenle glanced down at his feet dangling over the edge. "I know I'm harsh and I say things I shouldn't. I'm a bad person, I'm fucked up- I'm a hypocrite for saying those things to you."
"You're right though, I'm delusional to think I could figure all this out and be in a Mafia."
"It's not delusional, it's brave."
Seowoo glanced up at him to see his eyes looking down at hers. "You're brave enough to fight for him even afterwards but I couldn't, I never did. I was jealous of you to be honest." He admitted with an empty chuckle.
"I'm sorry that happened to you." She spoke sympathetically and Chenle couldn't find the urge to bring up anything else about his past without feeling sick to his stomach.
"You should continue to try, I won't get in your way anymore." He concluded and Seowoo bit down on her bottom lip.
"If you're really sorry..." She began, turning her head to look at him. "Help me find out what happened."
"...okay." He agreed.
"And let's be friends, no more arguing okay?" She asked finally smiling.
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