Elle Candel : The Mystery of The Seer (Naruto fanfic)

Chapter 14: Let it End

I haven't been able to sleep a wink that night. Guilt ate at me for lying to Kakashi and using his concern for me against him. It was a really bad night in general. I was so absorbed in my own thoughts that I didn't notice the sun coming up. I don't want to get out of bed today. I will stay in just for today. I grabbed a pillow from next to me and pressed it on my face, wanting to stop my buzzing mind and flowing tears. I kept it there till I felt my chest burning, begging for air. I released the pillow and took slow deep breaths in. I am useless. My teammates are out there finishing missions and training while I'm lying in bed crying. So many people have gone through much worse than I have, I don't have the right to be sad. I have so much that others would give their lives for. The emptiness inside of me was drowning me slowly. It was pressing on my chest, constricting my breathing. Chakra was slowly leaking out of me. I tried to hold on to it but it just kept leaking no matter how hard I tried. Maybe I should let it leak out. I'll drift off into sleep and never wake up again. technically, I'm already dead anyways. I lied there pathetically, letting my chakra leak out of my body. the tears that were once streaming down my face were now mere stains on my cheeks. I didn't want anyone to see me like this, but at the same time, I wanted someone to pull me out of it. You pushed everyone away. No one is coming. This is your fault. I just stared at the ceiling blankly, blaming myself for everything. I was about to completely let go, not just of my chakra, but my life when I heard knocking on the door. Go away I don't deserve anyone right now. "Elle, you're late." Sasuke's said sounding bored. After a couple of seconds, he knocked again, this time harder. "I know you're inside, come out now." I can't let Sasuke be the one to find me dead...I can't let Kakashi deal with another suicide...I can't leave Shikamaru waiting till the morning...I have to get up. For them, I have to get up. I slowly stumbled my way to the door, and opened it. "Kakashi is... what happened to you?" I shook my head at him and walked back inside. I'm almost drained. I don't have much time. "Sasuke, listen carefully. If I die, I want you to make sure that Sakura and Naruto are going to be okay. I need you to train Sakura instead of me and give Naruto my jutsu scroll." His eyes widened at my words. "What are you talking about?" my legs wobbled and I couldn't hold myself up anymore. I fell to my knees trying to hold on to as much chakra as I can. Sasuke rushed over to me. "What's happening to you?" I shook my head again, "There's no time to explain. Just please tell Shikamaru that I won't be able to make it. Also, tell Kakashi I'm sorry and that I didn't mean for it to end like this." He looked shocked at my words. "Shut up and save your energy." That's all he said before he picked me up and carried me out the door. "you're wasting your time. I'm almost completely drained." He frowned and shook his head. "I told you to shut up!" he shouted at me as he rushed faster. "Sasuke, you missed...oh my god, what's happening?" I heard Sakura's squeaky voice say. "Where's Kakashi sensei?" she pointed somewhere before he started rushing again. "Sasuke, why are you...is that Elle?!" Sasuke stopped panting and laid me on the ground. Kakashi rushed over to me and he looked shocked. "Hey, Kakashi." I smiled a strained smile, happy to see him one last time. That made his eyes widen even further before his brows furrowed in determination. He placed his hands over my stomach and started to pour his chakra inside me. My eyes widened and I tried to move away but I was too weak to move. "no, don't. you're going to waste your chakra." my voice came out barely above a whisper. "I thought I told you to shut up!" Sasuke boomed from next to me. He put his hands above Kakashi's and proceeded to pour his own chakra into me as well. before I knew it, Sakura was there next to me too. She held my hand and kept telling me it's going to be okay. I'm sorry you guys. This is why I tried to push you away. Sadly, no matter how hard I tried, you're still here. You're still saving me. I felt the leaking of my chakra slow down until it stopped. For the first time since I was a child, I felt loved. Tears started streaming down my face in gratitude. "Are you in pain?" Sakura asked hurriedly, holding onto me tighter. I shook my head at her and held her hand back. My reserves were half way filled so I was starting to regain my energy. I sat up, putting my hand over Sasuke's. "That's enough." My voice was still hoarse and my head hurt like crazy but I had enough chakra to survive. Sasuke looked up at me, frowning. He removed his hands from my stomach and got up. I looked over at Kakashi who was still putting in his chakra. "Hey, it's ok. I'm fine now." tears were still streaming down my face in gratitude. I felt so thankful that I had people like them around me. I took my hand out of Sakura's and grabbed both of Kakashi's hands, stopping him from sending anymore chakra. He looked up at me with a frown on his face, "don't ever scare me like that again." I nodded and wiped my tears, looking at the ground in front of me. "thank you." That was all I managed to say. It didn't feel like those two words were enough, but they were the only way I had to express my gratitude. I looked up at Sasuke, he looked at me still frowning. "explain. Now." I sighed and looked back down. He saved my life. he deserves to know, but can I tell him? I looked at Kakashi for reassurance to which he nodded, urging me to tell them. "You see, just like I can create chakra when I'm calm. I lose chakra when I'm anxious. That's why any anxiety attack I get can be fatal." I looked at Sakura who was quietly sitting next to me, a sympathetic look on her face. I then looked at Sasuke. I felt so much gratitude towards him, more than I can express. "When you came looking for me, I was in the middle of a bad anxiety attack. I can't express how grateful I am to you." His scowl deepened, "If you're really grateful, never say what you said to me again." that's all he said before he turned around and walked away. I looked over at Sakura and Kakashi, "Sorry for all the trouble. I owe you guys my life." Sakura just smiled at me and helped me up. Kakashi got up as well, "Our mission is moved till tomorrow, go home and rest." with that he also left. After that, Sakura insisted she stays with me today so that I 'don't go back to the way I was feeling'. It actually turned out to be pretty fun. She told me about the mission to the land of waves as we made our way to the training grounds. There we met Shikamaru. He and Sakura ended up watching the clouds as I was asleep next to them, dreaming of random happy dreams.