Above Heavens

Twenty-Secondth Glitch

V A U G H N

A week yore. Nothing strange happened, and almost everything seemed normal not until a news brought melancholy to many. Threse asked for our contacts after visiting her brother. To contact her if ever we would like to drop by at the hospital again.

Sa pangalawang pagdalaw namin kay Sir, wala pa ring pinagbago sa breathing niya. Until yesterday, I just received a text message from Threse. 'Wag na raw kaming pumunta sa ospital ni Candary.

Her brother, or Sir Thomas already died after a week of fighting in the brink of his death. She even included the time of death-9:03 PM as the doctor quoted. I don't know what to reply. Condolences? Probably. I asked some details. Ang sabi niya ite-text niya na lang address kung saan ang lamay. Ganoon nga ang ginawa niya.

For minutes, I found myself with a tinge of tears in my eyes. I was in the bathroom looking at the mirror while brushing my teeth. I brought my phone with me while an mp3 is playing until I read the message. Fuck. This is not happening. But darn yeah, this is really happening.

I don't know why I feel so empty that night. I hate it, and emptiness feels so actually heavy. Damn. Do I have a heart now? I mean that dude is not my relative or friend. Just my professor. Somehow I feel a connection. For Sir Thomas understands what I believe in and never judge, nor force me to recreate this version of me.

That's rare. A person who never make you feel to explain yourself all the time is rare. And I lose him. Candary and I failed to save him.

I sent her a direct message on Twitter that night. Now, we are going on his wake. Naramdaman ko ang lungkot sa paraan kung paano siya mag-reply. My emotions are valid and so her too.

I clad myself with a V-neck white shirt and faded jeans. As a respect, I shouldn't wear clothes tinted with bright colors. Candary said she will go directly to the place. Hinintay ko na rin siya sa entrance ng chapel dahil ang sabi niya ay malapit na siya.

The sky is gray as well as the mood of those people who are really close to Sir Thomas. It looks like the clouds will cry too.

Imagine, this is the first week of December, they are Catholics, Christmas is near but someone you love left without a word. Ang pag-alis na walang pamamaalam at wala nang balikan.

Maraming mga naglalakihan at magagarbong sasakyan ang nakaparada sa harap. A tarpaulin with Sir Thomas' smiling face photoshopped with clouds and dove greeted me. Tumabi muna ako sa gilid kung saan may plant box at naupo roon. Maya-maya rin ay bumaba si Candary sa isang tricycle. We're like yin and yang. She's wearing a black shirt and a maong skirt.

"Vaughn." She forced a smile but her eyes say the truth. She's really too affected. Palapit siya sa akin ngayon habang nakakapit sa maliit niyang sling bag.

"Hey." From sitting, I stood up."

"Pasok na tayo?" She asked. Ayaw naman na rin naming i-text pa si Threse para abalahin. If we are mourning, multiply it and that's the pain she and her relatives have to endure. Lalo na siguro ang nanay ni Sir. Panganay siyang anak nito at nag-iisang lalaki.

"Let's go." And we headed inside the chapel.

The atmosphere was gloomy. The white place was filled by sobbing, murmurs, and even a scented smell coming from the flowers. Maliwanag ang ilaw pero may madilim na pakiramdam. Tinanguan ni Candary ang ilang professors na kilala niya ganoon din ako. Some faces are familiar. Nandirito ang ilan naming schoolmates na malamang ay estudyante rin ni Sir sa iba pang subjects na tinuturo niya.