Caught in a lie (Jikook) [On Hiatus]

28. Singularity

Word Count: 978 words
3 weeks in hospital
Being in a hospital for 3 weeks was unbearable for Jimin. He appreciated the visits though but that was the only thing he enjoyed. He enjoyed seeing his members but he doesn't see them often. He felt alone. He didn't like being so singled out just because of himself. He felt so selfish. He wanted to apologise for causing harm and worries to the group. Now they will promote without him and they would probably lose fans. He doesn't want to feel like a burden. He then starts crying and covers himself with the blanket, He then fell asleep again. It hurt being alone for so long but he had no other choice but to be alone until he gets better. It really hit him hard. He then went into a dream or falling and drowning.

It was dark yet a beautiful sight to see. The skies being dark as the cities lights made the view beautiful. He looked up at the stars and smiled. He was at peace for once. But then he decided to jump down from the bridge. But then he fell from the metres up high into the water. He drowned in the ocean. He tried to swim but he didn't. He died in the dream. But next thing he knew he was in a bathtub. He burnt a note and cried. He tried to drown himself but this time he was dry. We was wearing a white shirt and black pants but then he fell into a bathtub. He then woke up in a beautiful sight of flowers and trees but then it got covered in snow in the cold. Next thing he knew is that he is now in room with just a sink. It looked like a museum or a some other place that expensive but it looked quiet old and not taken care of. He was wearing a patterned shirt and then a gush of water splashes over him. Then he's back at the Dream where he died. He was now in a memorial. The members found out he committed suicide because as soon as he jumped off the bridge, they saw him fall and drown. They tried to save him but it was no use because Jimin couldn't swim. So they held a memorial where he drowned and cried. Then they started to drown in their tears. It really hurt.

But next thing they knew is that they are alive and well while he in the dream wasn't. But then the dream fanged again. He was running with his band mates. They were messing around in the streets. They were causing trouble. The memories were so fun. But then it changed to Jin being stabbed and Hoseok's overdose (Sorry for the many song references). Then the scene in the dream consisted of blood, pills, knife, an overflown bathtub and a burnt note. His consciousness went further and further until he woke up. Time to eat once again (Sorry). He was dazed from the dream. It was weird and so much was going on that he didn't even pick anything up from that dream. He only picked up the dark parts. What was that supposed to mean? Is his subconscious telling him something? He really didn't know and all he wanted to know was the meaning. He wanted to figure out what it was telling him. He really wanted to know but he just doesn't know what to do because what if they think he's crazy when he explains his dream? So many questions started to circulate more as he felt more dazed again. "Eat up will you," the doctor firmly reminded him. Jimin got out of his daze and purposely (another reference) spaced out. He promised (Sorry for promise reference) he would get better but he just don't want to so he tried many tactics. But of course the doctor once again (Sorry) had to force feed him.

The sound of something broken
무언가 깨지는 소리

I wake up suddenly
난 문득 잠에서 깨

A sound full of low snow
낮설음 가득한 소리

I try to cover my ears but I can't sleep
귀를 막아 보지만 잠엘 들지 못해
My neck keeps hurting
목이 자꾸 아파와

I try to wrap it up
감싸 보려하지만

I don't have a voice
나에겐 목소리가 없어

Oh, listen to that story again today
오 오늘도 그 소릴 들어
It's ringing again
또 울리고있어 그 소리가

Another crack in the frozen lake
이얼어 붙은 호수에 또 금이 가

I left me in that lake
그 호수에 내가 날 버렸잖아

I buried my voice for you
내 목소릴 널 위해 묻었 잖아
Over the abandoned winter lake
날 버린 겨울 호수 위로

The thick ice is frozen
두꺼운 얼음이 얼었네

Even in my dream
잠시 들어간 꿈 속에도

The illusionary tormenting me still
나를 괴롭히는 환상통은 여전해
Did I lose me
나는 날 잃은 걸까

Or did I lose you
아님 널 잃은 걸까

I suddenly run to the lake
나 문득 호수로 달려가

There's my face in Og
오그 속에 내 얼굴 있어
Please do not say anything
부탁해 아무 말도하지 마

I try to reach out to cover my mouth
입을 막으려 손을 뻗어 보지만

Eventually, spring will come
결국엔 언젠가 봄이와

Ice melts and flows down
얼음들은 녹아 내려 흘러 가
Tell me if my voice is fake
Tell me 내 목소리가 가짜라면

Shouldn't you have left me
날 버리지 말았어야 했는지

Tell me Even if the pain is fake
Tell me 고통조차 가짜라면

What should I do then
그때 내가 무얼해야 했는지

Beautiful song. I'm going to go listen to this now and go to sleep because I need to sleep because I have a lot of work tomorrow. I should probably stop overworking myself so much. I've been so tired lately and I don't know why.