When Perfect Meets Crazy

17 - Have you perhaps lost your mind?

School was over. People were rushing out and although I hated to admit it, I was rushing out with them. I couldn't remember the last time I was this eager to get out of school.

Ohh, the things a bad day can do to a person.

I woke up feeling tired, more so than when I went to bed. It happens to me every few months. It was nothing new but it still really sucked. What was the point of sleeping if I was only going to wake up feeling even more tired than I did before? That, added to the cameo of daddy dearest's alter ego last night, was doing a good job of making sure I wasn't having a good day.

More accurately, I was having a shitty day. The shittiest.

Mom couldn't have picked a worse time to travel. Dad was nowhere in the ballpark of a good mood with the city council exerting pressure on him to catch the culprit of the downtown robberies. I was constantly walking on eggshells with him. No matter how tired I was, I had to be extra careful and pay extra attention to him.

On top of that, I had school to worry about. I was becoming increasingly bored by it which, for me, was big and bad. According to the educational adviser, people with my IQ need to always be challenged academically. The last time I found school boring was back in elementary school and that did not go well.

I needed less on my plate so I could concentrate on figuring out a solution. This was a bad time for Mom to not be around to curb Dad's tendencies although, granted, she was unaware of them. I tried hinting once that she should keep her cases within state and it blew up in my face. She took it so personal that I got lectured on how women should support women and how I was no longer a child and if Olly who was younger than I was fine with, I should be as well.

I ended up crying. That's how bad she made me feel for even suggesting it. I didn't have the guts to explain that missing her wasn't the problem. I hardly saw her when she was in town anyways, asides from mandatory family dinners. I couldn't explain that unlike Olly, I wouldn't be overlooked, ignored by our father. I'd be evaluated, appraised critically and found wanting. It would be that I didn't put the keys in the right place. Or heat the food up to his perfect taste. Or that the cutlery wasn't shiny enough. There would always be something that I hadn't done well enough.

I couldn't tell her that though. What good would it do? Neither of them believed in divorce. I'd only make things worse for myself like when she told him what I said about her not taking out-of-state cases, to ask his opinion on the subject.

During her next trip, I paid dearly for that.

I sighed wearily, forcing a smile for the benefit of the seemingly endless horde of acquaintances who 'needed' to wave me goodbye. They all thought I was so cool. Freakishly smart yet social and fashionable. Have-it-all Avy.

I snickered.

"Bye, Avy."

"Bye," I replied, smoothing my features into a bright smile.

My smile showed too much teeth. Anyone who really looked at me could've easily figured out that it was fake. Luckily, no one really pays attention to things like that anymore. To be honest, even if I had tears in my eyes and said I was fine, I was almost entirely sure everyone would believe it. After all, I was Avyanna Johnson, the 'perfect everything.' What problems could I possibly have?

I scoffed inwardly.

Ranting and needing people, wallowing and indulging in bouts of self pity are for the weak, the voice in my head chastised.

I finally made it outside, passing through the wide open double doors that led to the exterior of the school building.

"What the actual f..." I swallowed the rest of my statement, forcing a winsome smile unto my face as the curious eyes of a group of juniors turned my way.