Overall, my first month had been a total emotional roller coaster. Not to say it hadn't been great, cuz it had. Mer and I had gotten closer, as well as Sag and I. My feelings as well. The more time I spent with Merrick, the more clear my feelings became, the more they tried to push through. Until, one day, I couldn't deny it. I had fallen, and quite hard, for my best friend.
"Mel? You there?"
"Yeah Sag. I'm here."
Currently, I was with Sag, and we were just talking. Sag was a good listener, and I had a ton to vent about.
"I just don't know Sag. I mean, what if he thinks it's weird and doesn't want to be my best friend? I can't live without him. He's too important."
"I think, I think you tell him. If he's really a good friend, he'll accept it and make sure you're not hurt. And if he loves you, like I know he does-"
I shot him a look.
"Like I know he does," he continued giving me a look in return, "then he'll tell you. And hopefully ask you out," he added in a rush at the end.
I rolled my eyes, but couldn't deny the small feeling inside me that hoped what Sag hoped. We kept talking for a while until Merrick came in.
"Whatcha talking about?" he asked.
"Nothing much," I answered. "What about you? What's going on?"
"Still trying to figure out if the girl I like likes me back," he said. Then, as if realizing what he said, stiffens and shakes his head. "I mean, nothing. So anything interesting going on?"
What he says first catches me so off guard I blink and stare in shock. Then, as I realize, my heart drops, as I know it couldn't be me. I recompose myself and put on a smile.
"Nope, not so far. So what should we do today?" I look to Sag to see what ideas he has. And to save me from looking at Merrick and being heartbroken and upset.
"Well," he starts, "we could go to the beach?" he suggests.
"No," I say immediately.
"The fair?" Merrick suggests.
"Perfect!" I exclaim. I've always loved the fair, which is why Mer probably suggested it. It breaks my heart knowing that he knows everything about me except that I like him. My mood immediately shifts from happy to sad.
"Perfect," Mer echoes. "I'll go get some stuff and then we can go."
He leaves leaving me and Sag to look at each other.
"You know why I said the beach right?"
I sigh. "Yes. How did you even know though?"
"I don't, but I knew Mer probably knew something. The pool went not so great, so I knew no water, but I knew you probably liked something else. I just didn't know what."
I sighed. Again. "You are too smart Sag."
He straightened up and said, "I know." It made me laugh.
"Do you watch like The Office or somethin'? How else could you be so smart?" I asked still laughing.
"No." His face scrunched up. "My mom says it's not for kids, and I kinda agree."
I chuckle and ruffle his hair.
"Hey watch it!" he shouts. (play song now)
I go out, only to bump into Merrick.
"Oh um hi," I say. Neither of us move and we are pretty close. Not as close as the other time but pretty close.
"Hi."
I look down self-consciously.
AN: btw this is what i imagine her to look like
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but with these eyes
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"Why do you do that?" I hear him ask.
"What?"
"Look down like you're ashamed. Like you don't like what you look like, so you don't want me to look at-" As if he comes to a sudden realization, he says, "Oh." He cups my face with one hand and pulls my face up, but I still refuse to let my eyes meet his.
"Hey," he says softly, "look at me please."
My eyes meet his reluctantly, full of worry and just raw emotion.
"You are beautiful just the way you are."
I chuckle. "No I'm not. You don't have to lie to make me feel better, really." Then a thought occurs to me. "Do you really think I look beautiful?"
Mer sighs. "When I look at you, I don't see anything worth changing. Why? To me it's already perfect. Cause you're amazing just the way you are. Now come on. The fair is waiting."
He goes off leaving me and my thoughts. Do I really look like that to him? Am I really beautiful? Do I really have a nice smile? Am I really amazing? Just the way I am? I guess I'll find out soon. The fair is waiting.
Yeah, you won't get through the song but I can't believe how perfectly I got the events and the song to line up! I thought it was gonna be disastrous, but it wasn't. Yeah two in one day. I kinda was on a roll and yeah. But, I probably won't update later this week, but if I do it will be on Friday. So yeah. Remember, to vote, comment and spread the word! Also that I love each and every one of you! See you next time!!
