The laundromat_Angel | BWWM

The END

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~2 weeks later

Numb.

That's how I feel right now, even as hot coffee spills onto my lap.I still feel so numb. It's just a dull pain that shoots up my scolded leg.

Some of it spills over the edge and descends quickly, disappearing somewhere into the traffic below us.

I met Rose at an abandoned building's roof, she's the one burning me with her hot beverage.

We're sitting on the ledge under the tequila sunset, the sky's getting darker. We've been sitting here for a while because my cowardly ass didn't want to break the news to her.

The stars are becoming much more visible.

Baby cradled under one arm and ready to kill me with the other, Rose is pissed off at me.

I gave her half a billion dollars from the money I stole from Ryan.

She's mad because I'm refusing to leave him.

 I haven't found him yet.

It's been two weeks and I haven't found him,and I'm still looking.

"You stupid girl! You have no idea what you're doing!"She yells at me, wounding me with her words.

But, looking at my unbothered state she huffs and looks around, stands up slowly and walks away.

Silently.

I watch as she retreats with her little boy. 

Somewhere safe I hope.

At least she'll be safe and wealthy again.

I sigh and let all the tears fall down my cheek. Looking down at the arithmetic designs on the concrete below my feet.

My heart aches so bad and I don't know what to do.

I caused this.

 I messed up and I don't know how to make it better.

It's all my fault that Ryan's probably in anguish right now.

He doesn't deserve any of this, I should've just left when I had the chance. 

Zac hasn't slept in six days,trying to find his best friend.

Amber and Asher are undergoing psychology right now. 

Mia is with Zac trying to help as much as she can,but I know she's hurting too.

She just doesn't want to show it. 

Like a mule she's mute in this situation.

I'm just here trying hard not to fall down that dark hole called depression again.

I know what it's like to fall, and it's happening all over again.

Reasons why I shouldn't be alive in the first place flood my mind.

Lena has been buried inside my subconscious but she reminds me everyday why my existence i so pathetic.

I'm Angel now, forever and...

I only have myself to blame for my unhappiness.

I've always been alone, I'll always be alone.

I can't help thinking that, by now...