Stranded With Secrets Of Past Mistakes ✓

[Chapter Thirty-Eight]

"No, sure I would love to hear you say it but I'm not going to push you into it." he kissed the top of my head and I sighed, it's things like this that were bringing me dangerously close to that word and I knew if he kept all this up and didn't go back to how he was before, I would be saying it by the end of the year.

I guess I felt like we were on pause at this point, I liked who he was right now but I didn't know if it would stick, I hoped it would but I feared it wouldn't.

"I just need you to give me time and be patient with me. I'm not good at this kind of stuff; I'm not even really good with my emotions." I tried not to show them as much because I didn't think it was necessary, granted I loved people and I loved helping them but people didn't really know anything about me.

"I can do that." He wouldn't let go, like he was expecting me to disappear if he did but I wasn't planning on going anywhere, I should learn to be more open with him, I guess it was something I would need to work on; not just for us but in general.

"I'm sorry." I buried my face in his chest and he chuckled

"It's alright, I never expected to be the first one to say those words ever, It's okay that it took you for surprise. It certainly took me by surprise." I looked up at him and he smiled down at me.

"I really like you." I said and his smiled brightened and softened at the same time.

"And I love you mama." He said and I rolled my eyes

"Really?" I asked and he nodded

"I think it's a good nickname. You'll learn to love it." I just shook my head at him knowing damn well there's no stopping him once he's got going.

"No one knows yet, you know." I said and he shrugged

"I can find a temporary one."

"This is not necessary." I said walking out of the room and he followed after me

"Yes it is, every couple should do this crap you know." He said making me laugh.

"Whatever you say." I was going to think of the worst nickname ever and insist on calling him that, he was going to hate it as much as I loved it.

"I could always call you my little sex-"

"Damon." I elbowed him not even letting him finish that sentence.

"Okay, okay. Only in private." He winked and I pouted a little bit making him wrap his arm around me as he pulled me into the library to sit down on something comfortable.

"Jerk." I mumbled and he pulled me onto his lap.

"I'm sorry, I love you and it means the world to me that you wanted to be with me that way, I know you don't take sex lightly and I loved every second of being with you." he said sensing that he was annoying me or hurting my feelings just a little bit; stupid irrational hormones.

"I just, I know I'm inexperienced and it's probably not all that great and I just don't like or need it being thrown back in my face, it's just a reminder of your experience and that you would probably enjoy it more with them." I looked down, I felt so inadequate sexually because I was and I hated it.

He kissed me hard and I responded as he coaxed my lips apart for him to slip his tongue between them, he grinded my hips down and against him and I moaned lightly and felt something jump up and harden.

"Does that feel like I find you inadequate or like I don't enjoy being with you? I love you, not them and I don't want you to ever feel like that would be a problem to me. I loved being with you and it makes me want to do it over and over and over again. You were amazing." He said and my face heated.