Stranded With Secrets Of Past Mistakes ✓

[Chapter Thirty-Two] Damon's Pov

Chapter Thirty-Two
Damon's Pov

I was frozen in place. One hand held her wig, and the other was on her forehead and I honestly don't think I was breathing. I was feeling light headed. Yeah I was defiantly not breathing.

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale

I kept repeating until I was in fact breathing.

How can I have been such an idiot? Obviously I know who she is, but not with a wig. Blue, pink, and purple hair is hard to miss. I stared at her for what felt like forever and began stroking her real hair this time.

And then I got pissed off.

She sat there saying how this guy was this horrible person, and slept with her, and didn't care about her the next day. That's not true; she's the one that left me in the morning, I wanted her to stay! I remember telling her we would get breakfast and when I woke up she was just gone.

She left her shirt but other than that there was nothing, I wanted her to stay, she was different in a good way and I took an instant liking to her and she's the one who ran off.

She also said how this guy didn't want anything to do with her or the baby, she didn't know that! I, shit. Great another reason to hate myself for that conversation, I was talking about my baby, our baby. Oh god I'm stupid.

I was so angry with her for keeping this from me, no matter what I deserved the right to know that I was going to be a fucking father! I stood up and then immediately fell back down.

"I'm going to be a father" I said out loud.

I don't think I can do this. I can't have a child at seventeen. I'm not ready for that, I'm not ready for that responsibility, I can't believe that it took me until the moment to remember that I didn't use a condom. I didn't blame her, I blamed myself.

I've had sex enough times to know to use it; I have them in the drawer by my bed! I knew she was a virgin and I had to have known she wouldn't be on the pill. I should have used one; that was my fault. I looked down at her again and I just didn't know what do to.

Does she even want me around after everything I've done to her? What do I do? How do I tell my parents, they're going to be so pissed off! How do you be a good parent? It's not like I exactly had any in my life, they were gone more than they were home.

I took one last look at her before getting up to go make her spaghetti, I knew how to make it, and I needed to man up and take care of her. God we had a lot to talk about.

I sat there and obsessed as I cooked.

Her words from earlier were ringing through my mind, she's right about me. Maybe I'm not man enough for this but there wasn't really any other choice unless she wanted to do adoption but I knew that she really didn't want that.

She wanted to keep this baby and it was largely based on me, I felt like my world was spinning, everything I knew about her and the pregnancy and the father and now it's me and I'm freaking out. If I told her no, if I walked away, there was a good chance she would probably look into adoption.

But if I was to stay with her and we were to raise this baby, I'm pretty sure she would keep it. But I couldn't just be the father I wanted to be with her while I did it. I didn't want to bounce a baby around, if we were to do this we had to try us too, that much I knew.

But am I ready for that, to try to be with one person, not to sleep with anyone else, to settle down with her and this baby? I don't know.

I put in the toast and got the chocolate ready. This whole cooking thing isn't that bad, if we're going to be spending more time together maybe she can teach me how to cook some more, I actually really enjoy doing it, weirdly. I always thought it was beneath me, so we had a cook.